The Blogger Herself

The Blogger Herself

Friday, November 20, 2009

New, but Old Prayer


It has been a good week for me. I know I said I would post about who Lottie Moon is, but I have other things on my mind. Ps 139:23-24 HCSV. Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns."
See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way. "

This has become my prayer lately. It seems to convey the condition of my soul right now. I'm going to approach these verse in a different way than I normally would. Lately, I have been craving real intimacy. I know that sounds a little new age I guess but read on. If we are honest, we all realize that our heart's desire is to connect. I've been having these longings that I cannot really articulate. I have tried to ignore it, but I cannot. I've tried to stuff it with food, friendships, and whatever, but the longings still remain. The truth is I desire to be known. I'm terrified of connecting, but it is the very thing I crave. I'm terrified of people knowing the yucky stuff inside me. The anger the pride, the envy, the shame. Some people say they don't need to connect with God or with others, but I beg to differ. I think you need look know further than the number of Facebook accounts or Myspace accounts there are. and yes I have one too. What's my point, people are looking for connection every where Christian or not. The verse above again remind me that God knows me, totally completely. He knows the things that make me tick. He knows my sin. He knows my dreams. He knows my heart hunger as I call it. He is not surprised. He gave us the desire to connect in relationship with him and others. He provided the bridge in Jesus Christ to make this possible. So my new prayer is not a new one, but it is new for me. Knowing that God can and does know my heart, should do a couple of things. It should be a motivator for repentance. It should provide a great desire to know the Lord and point others to the one worthy of being known! So like the woman at the well, I'm relieved that Jesus knows me, and still purses me! So while it scares me the thought of my heart being searched and my concerns to be tested, it brings freedom! What are you thoughts? Do you relate?