Imperfect Perfection

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My and my cousin Brady @ McGuire's pub in Destin  FL

My mom on the beach!

Thank you to my family

My heart soared at the sight of the palm tree as we were restless to arrive at the condo.  As usual the vision of the ocean  took my breath, and I happily felt free again.  I'm never sure if when we depart from the beach, if  the fourteen of us will be blessed to come back the beach, this is why I savor the breezes and the smell of the salt water air  Have you ever seen the movie Christmas Vacation?  Remember Clark imagined his vacation differently than one which unfolded?  His expectations were unattainable, mostly because he forget to embrace life as it was.  In years passed , I may have been a slight version of Clark Griswald: but not this year...  You see the character Clark had unrealistic expectations for his family vacation, and as result he made his family miserable and himself too.  While viewers of this movie have laughed for years Clark refused to see the humor in such perfect imperfections.  See above clip for a laugh!
The beach to me is the closest experience to heavenly perfection on earth.  Even on the best day at the at the beach though, there are "perfect" Imperfections.  Leaving your custom hair washing board at home, which means you  must improvise by using a water hose or hanging your head upside over the bed. The reality of amazing Aunt who has major back pain on the trip, limiting her enjoyment .  Kids who are tired after long car rides!  Leg problems which hinder long walks on the beach.  All these are small inconveniences that interfere with expectations of perfection.  You know what, I 'I m glad  perfect as the beach is to me, it still has imperfections. .   .   You see for me walking on the beach is a dream, and part of what makes me dream about walking on the beach wonderful for me, is I don't know at all what it is really like.  In my mind it is the perfect experience, and nothing imperfect can touch it.  As those of you who can walk know, it isn't perfect walking on the beach.  Sand I have been told, is hard to walk in, and it is sometimes hot on your feet.  The reality is this earth and the world has imperfections, even in our happy places.  

   9 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God;[b] 20 for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of him who subjected it in hope; 21 because the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning in travail together until now; 23 and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. 
   Romans 8:9-24.  


   

It is imperfection that often allows kindness  to be seen.  My family was an amazing help to me at the beach.  My uncle Ron brought ramps in his already over packed truck, so I could sit on the balcony and see the ocean which I cannot do without ramps.  It meant the world to me.  My cousin's husband Brad drove us the whole trip both ways.  This was so helpful to us.  Most all my family helped place me in and out of bed every day we were there.  My brother Justin and cousin Bill pushed me up and down the beach ramp.  You see even though, heaven is the only perfect place, we can savor joy through imperfect perfection!  Sometimes its fun when things are less than perfect. I'm so thankful for and to my family for all they do for me, even when it is hard work.  My mom physically cared for me even though it was tiring for her.  My 5 year old cousin Jack brought me a pale of ocean water to put my hand in.  A stranger bought our lunch one day.  It was pretty heavenly!   Memories made, Corn Hole played!

Next time you are tempted to expect perfection look for the "perfect" in  your surroundings, and look for the perfect in imperfection...  Smile wide, laugh hard, and be thankful! 

The News is Out! Big News!

I love when I have big news to share especially when the news is exciting.   If you follow me on Facebook, then this could be old news but will you indulge me briefly.  My dear friend Jennifer Hand has an e-book out with Amazon called 31 Days to Coming Alive devotional  She is passionate about the  the message, and I'm really proud of her!  It has taken me awhile to wrap my brain around the excitement. The truth is my friend Jennifer Hand has always followed her dreams and this book is no exception.  Jenn is brave in ways many of us have never had the courage to be.  Jennifer Hand sincerely loves Christ, and she makes me want to be brave!  Do you want to live a life of fullness?    If you do, Jenn can and will point you to the One who can take you upon this journey!  In the near future I plan to interview Jenn on my blog about the book.  I'm even more humbled and most honored Jenn has graciously allowed me to be a contributor in the book. You  see, my dear friend Jenn knows I have loved writng since childhood.  She knew the joy that would overflow at the thought of sharing what God has given me.  This post is to tell you and Jenn, as she made her own dream come true by committing her dream and vision to God, He has made mine a reality too.  I have tried not to be overly loud about my personal role in the project, one because Jenn has done all the hard work and I'm so proud of her!  The truth is my goal is not to be a NY Times Bestselling author, I simply want to inspire people by the written word pointing them to the One who makes my life make sense.In all honesty though, I can hardly contain my joy excitement, and gratitude to God and Jenn for allowing me to be published in the book, and to be part of this and get my writing into hands and hearts.   All that to say that I'm so thrilled to have a part in the book, and even more thrilled to call Jennifer Hand a friend!  The books will be in print in a few weeks I will let you know when, but for now, it is on Kindle APP for much less than 5 dollars.    Jenn thank you again!  To those looking for renewal, or just want to check it go for it!  Stayed turned for the interview soon.  I have more blessings to share in an upcoming post!  I'm blessed....  Special thanks to Blaine Vandegriff for promoting the book on social media.To all who are reading or have the book  You all won't regret this read Jennifer Hand is funny, charming, and passionate!

Find the Ebook here

When is Thanksgiving? Doing something different this year

I have an ugly confession to make. I have not been very thankful the last couple weeks as Thanksgiving is approaching this Thursday. I don't really have a legitimate excuse. I am blessed just as I have been blessed since before I was born. Those of you who have read my blog for any length of time know that for the last several years I have. A Thanksgiving 100 list. As much as I've enjoyed this the last few years, it has become more important to me to be thankful not only by claiming a list of things I'm thankful for, but it is truly showed this and live it out. Rather than making a list this year I want to just share some brief reflections.

I'm thankful for continual forgiveness when I fail... If we confess our sin he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteous first John 1:9

I'm thankful for and unmovable unshakable love. Though the mountains be shaken and the heels the removed my unfailing love and my covenant of blessing will not be removed from you. Isaiah 54: 10

I'm thankful for provisions only God can provide: Philippians 4:19 and my God will supply all my needs according the great riches of Christ in Christ Jesus.

I'm thankful for my family and friends: God always provides people I need at the time when I need them. I think my God upon every remembrance of you. Philippians 1:3

I am thankful for my mom's stable health…

I'm thankful that even when I have down weeks like I have recently, and I'm not vocally thankful in my words are my attitude that God's still blesses me with .underserved gifts.

I'm thankful for my dog Franklin.

I'm thankful that I live in the United States of America, even when almost daily there is something that people complain about with regard to the country.

I'm thankful for reconciliation of broken relationships that is ongoing.

I'm thankful for the privilege of the week participating corporate worship.

I am thankful for modern medicine and for Sarah Cannon research Institute in Nashville Tennessee

I am thankful for the saving of the unborn babies in 2013

I'm thankful for caring church.

I'm thankful for those who participate on my blog even when my post are sporadic.

I'm thankful for nonjudgmental people in the judgmental world.

I'm thankful for modern technology.

I'm thankful for the health issues that I don't have to endure.

I'm thankful for the people who care for me on a weekly basis.

I'm thankful for the strength of power to do things through Christ that I could have never done on my own.

I'm thankful for simple joys in life, that I'm often tempted to take for granted.

Lastly but not least I'm thankful because of Christ always have and will hope no matter how dark things may look.

I'm thankful that both in and out of season there is always reason to be thankful.

In Ephesians Christians are commanded to be thankful regardless of season or circumstance. For those who has experienced losses, trials and continuous difficulties this may seen unfair or unreasonable, however If. We know Christ as our personal Savior is not an unreasonable demand. In fact, any other response is nothing short of ridiculous. I am thankful that God is patient and compassionate when his children struggle with the attitude of gratitude in all our days. Let's follow the example of Christ himself, and ask him to fill our hearts with the gratitude, that He is is most deserving of! If like me you find yourself in a rut and struggling to live out gratitude everyday, then this is something we need to confess, and commit to prayer, and ask the Lord for his perspective and His joy. Over the last month, there has been a practice on social media to list something you are thankful for every day for one month. While I know this is a fun game that I have participated in the past, this really isn't any different from what we as Christians are called todo on a daily basis only we do it more with our hearts and our words instead of simply posting it as our Facebook status. I hope that you and your family have a delightful Thanksgiving. Thank you for visiting please feel free to leave a few reasons you are thankful in the comments section of this blog. If you are more private in your gratitude, I respect that. I would encourage you to take inventory of what you are thankful for not only during the holiday season, but as a regular practice in your life. note I felt it was important enough to dictate this post, I'm using voice activated software so if you find uncorrected mistakes that is why. Please do your best to decipher the and send it words :-)  I will visit your blogs soon.

It's a Girl!

Last week I had a computer crash...  It is still not fully up to standard...  It has good for my sanity and mom's that she had a week off treatment.  Something exciting did happen though.  After much prayer and conviction, I have a child....  Did you faint yet?  No, I didn't give birth...  I didn't adopt.For years I have wanted to sponsor a compassion International child, but always put off, but when I could no longer avoid the fact that God had planted this desire,  I knew what I had to do. I went online and looked for children who needed sponsorship.  I know I'm not the parent, but what joy it has already brought to me to be a part of a child's life.  It went without saying for me I would choose a girl to sponsor.  I know boys need love and support too, but sponsoring a girl seemed right.  I wrote my first letter Anelis today.She is 4 from Bolivia.  I have heard Michael W Smith speak of compassion International for years at concerts, but never responded, for several reasons...  However recently every place I went something was said or done to promote Compassion.  I was concerned about the financial commitments, but once I went to the website, and I knew I would do whatever I needed to do!  Have you ever done something that turned out to be far more rewarding than you imagined?  Love to hear about it!  By the way, if you want to check out more about compassion you can here...  For me, the time was right,  and it is already a blessing!  Here

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A Dog a Miracle, and a Promise of Hope

Faith comes easier to some people more  than others.  I am one of those who struggles with choosing faith over doubt constantly.  Since my last post, I've added a new member to my family.  If you are friends with me on Facebook this is old news to you.  Franklin is my new rescue dog!

                                                         He has quickly bonded with mom, but his bonding to me has been a much slower process.  I already love him a lot, though adopting him at times has left me wondering if we did the right thing and hoping since he has been with us I think a month this weekend that he will soon become more adjusted.  He he has been a test of faith well worth the effort.  I don't think he fully understand yet, that I can't get in the floor with him or sit on the couch.

In other big news remember awhile back when I wrote that two of my  close friends whose dad was diagnosed with Leukemia?  That post well I have some amazing news!  Mike Hand has been declared Cancer Free!  He will continue his last regiment of treatment!   Thank you for your prayers!  God still does miracles!  Ps. 136.4  "   Give thanks to him who alone does mighty miracles.
His faithful love endures forever."  If you have prayed for Hand family and even if you haven't, you can join in the celebration, and praise God with me!  

News on my mom:

She began a new clinical trial last week for her ongoing battle with cancer.  This one is already requiring a lot more travel.  The chemo at times makes her super tired, but today she has felt well.  Please remember her and so many others fighting various forms of cancer.  Prayer has an impact upon lives.    We each have things we must overcome in life, for my dog Franklin it is the fear of being hurt or abandoned.  People have always said I've been drawn to people who are hurting, I guess the same is true with Franklin.  The bible says that as believers in Christ, we are more than victorious through the love of Christ!       37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.  Romans. 8:37.  This verse has been the hope I have been clinging to recently.  I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel as though my limitations and life circumstances are conquering me more than I am conquering these.  The truth is that trusting in God's unshakable love and goodness makes the impossible possible!  It makes the darkest valley turn to light.  So there have been three key elements to this post...  Thank God for his mighty works.  Pray with expectation, and press on with Franklin and me as I know you have battles to  conquer just like us.  Let us be victorious in our daily battles by trusting God's love to drive and empower us!  If you are waiting on God to act in situations that look hopeless to you, remember his promise with me, and know that God is always faithful in delivering on his promises.When faith is hard, God is ready to enable us to trust Him!  Thank you for stopping by and your care regarding my previous post.  Love to know if you have seen or are waiting  upon a miracle.     I am so glad to be part of what God is doing!

Get Out Of Eygpt!

Friends

Most of the time I have a post in my head, before it ever appears on this blog,  Today  the same is true, except I don't know the ending, nor do I know how this will be received,.  I'm nervous to put it out there.  Several months ago-shortly after returning from She Speaks Writer/Speaker conference, a question surfaced in my head as I began to ask God to lead me.  I don't think that question came from me.  .  The truth is most of the pain I've carried with me through the years has been related to the academic scene.  I have little confidence in my intellect in some areas.  If you put my in a room with well educated people, I feel inferior.  It does not matter that most of my grades through my life have been above average  mostly that came from effort, not from a stellar IQ  The question was would you be willing to go back to school if I asked you to?  Please God anything you want, just not this I thought.  I told no one for months. First for fear that they would think that I'd lost my mind, worse  they might try to pressure me into a commitment. I was not entirely sure I was being asked to make.  Those of you who know me are aware that college for the time I attended, at least the latter, part was a complete nightmare in which I dropped out  I''ll spare you the details...I promise there's a lesson in all this.  Until last week, I had been a nervous wreck over trying to understand what all this means, and angry, that if the question was from God, that He would ask me to revisit an area of my life that I still  wear as a badge of shame.  As I met with a mentor recently, she reminded that I had been asked if I was willing, but had not been given further steps than that.  I looked at her puzzled...  Through tears, "Why would God ask me to be willing to do something, unless He wanted me to actually follow through?" I asked.  "Maybe it is a test of your willingness to obey regardless of the next steps."  she said.  A sense of relief swept over me in that moment.  It wasn't the first time God had asked to lay my own will for my life down, in exchange for His.  He asked me to lay my will down in the area of my mom's health, long ago; just like He asked Abraham to lay Issac on God's altar.  I did, and am  doing this daily .  I don't know when, or if God will command me to pursue a degree in the field that crossed my mind that day.  I have sincerely expressed my desire and willingness to be in God's will  even if that means going back to college.  In Joshua 5:9 God tells Joshua that He rolled away the shame of being in slavery in Egypt  .then the LORD said to Joshua, "Today I have rolled away the shame of your slavery in Egypt." So that place has been called Gilgal to this day.  I admit I have never actually been to the place of Egypt, however my past with college  even 8 years later,is my Egypt. So imagine how freeing it was when I read this verse!  God has taken the badge of shame away from me, just like He did for Joshua and Israel as a nation, but imagine if  Joshua had continued to stay in his Egypt- in his mindset, even, after the Lord brought him out of bondage.  Sometimes I think the reason Israel could not get it together, is because they kept focusing on their dark past in Egypt, instead of accepting that God had rolled that shame away,  When we stay in our Egypt, symbolically, we forfeit the joy God desires  to give us by moving us to a new places in our lives.  Our own Gillgal is prepared for us, but our mindset, remains in the land of  Egypt  We all have Egypt in our lives, things that bring us shame.  For some, it is divorce, an abusive past, a one night stand, words we can't take back, how much more has the blood of Christ, removed shame from us!  How much more has Christ removed and redeemed the dark places of our lives, with the light!  Do you want to let go of Egypt with me?  It's your destiny too!  I wrote this down, so we can remember it together!  Our shame has been rolled away, the way the stone was on the day of Resurrection, but I/ we have to be willing to refuse to wear a false badge of shame in our lives!  I want to get out of Egypt: please come with me, as we embrace the fact that Christ has removed the shame from us!     .

Change is here...

Over the last year and a half there have been some small changes happening mostly on the inside of me.  I've embraced unconditional love from God,  I am becoming more secure in him.  His love and acceptance have begun to make it's way from my head to my heart, which is why I have chosen to celebrate the change as reminder of how far God has brought me from where I've been.  I believe our lives are not just a journey of our own, but are meant to inspire and encourage others.  When I began this blog years ago, the tagline was "my place in this blogging world", it was meant to be a reflection of finding my place in this world. My focus has now changed, and it is my desire to reflect that here.  So the tagline is now from Head to Heart.  So I hope you embrace the seemingly mild changes here friends, because one thing I'm learning is that change is going to happen whether we embrace it or not .    It has been good and busy birthday month that has now come to a close.
        Are you in a season of change or stillness?

Whatever season it is our lives, God wants us to invite his presence into it!  

                                                                            

When God Says "No" Do We Say Thanks or Why Not?

Hello,

     Here I am playing blog catch up again.  I wonder how I will recap everything since my last post.  Thank you for those of you who have prayed for the Hand Humbert family.  Baby Hope is recovering well.  Todd still needs prayer and the rest of the family.  Mike Hand needs lots of prayer as takes harsh chemo.  If you want to follow the journey go to my friend Jenn's Blog she would be encouraged by your comments...  Last Saturday I had an early 30th birthday party, and I had a great time!  If you are reading this and you were there thank you....
      My life has been super busy lately, and admittedly I am at my best when I have time to be still.  At times I feel that I'm torn because I want to have a Mary spirit, but at times I wish I could be Martha, because Martha is the one people seem to value more  Martha has a check list, and before the day is over every one cheers  our world and even Christians see the fruit of her work.  They see what she spent hours using her energy on.  Do you know what I envy most about Mary?  Her world didn't fall apart because Martha was offended by her actions.  Being the approval addict in progress that I am, it is easy to want tangible affirmation.  The question is will I look to Jesus for approval already granted, or approval not certain from others    She let Jesus deal with Martha's disapproval.She didn't wilt at the first hint of rejection, but her greatest delight was to please Jesus himself.  Oh how I want this to be true of me, as it was of the Apostle Paul and others  Lk. 37-40 Let me switch gears for a minute to make the point  Num.  22 contains such precious truth in it.  Will you allow me to quickly hit some of the highlights?        Bible text here Numbers 22  Balak sends for Balaam to curse God's people in battle.  Each time Balaam seeks God, in accordance with the covenant.  God sent word each time that he would not curse his chosen people, in fact He would bless them despite years of rebellion.  As a side note, isn't that just like God to relent from giving us what we deserve and give us something far greater?      Balaam wasn't a perfect servant any more that we are, He  was at one point totally unaware of what God was doing to the degree  that God made a donkey talk to get his attention.  In the end, Balaam continued to obey God no matter what it could cost him.  In that time period, one might lose their life if they refused a person in power.  To those who know me know I've struggled for years with waiting to please people, and at times it can be a hindrance life and in faith, but the more I embrace God's no strings attached acceptance, the more it seems to point me toward a sincere desire to obey God.  I don't know about you, but sometimes in my sinful nature, I wrestle with wanting to force things to happen, instead of seeing closed doors as God's blessing and protection.  Last month, I prayed about a possible job situation, and when it because clear it would not work, I was disappointed and dejected.  You see, I forgot that I had asked God to close the door if it wasn't his will.  That's exactly what He did.  I asked Him to forgive me for not thanking Him for answering my prayer, and instead focusing on wishing his answer was yes.  It had gotten to the point that I wanted a "yes" for all the wrong reasons.  I wanted the "yes" answer, because then I'd look like Martha.  I could see myself, and others would see my work as productive, but as a sister in Christ reminded me, it not about being productive, its about being meaningful, and honoring Christ, not myself.  The world we live in has an entirely different value system than the one Christ called his followers to.  Yes, work is a biblical principle, but whether it for money or not, that should never be the entire motive for why we work, or where we get our identity from.  Yes, a job is a means to fulfill financial irresponsibility, but I have to believe God wants more than that for his children,
Have you ever thanked God for the "no's" or "Not Yet's" in your life?  Care to share?.          

What if Easter were tomorrow

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If you celebrated Easter today, I hope it was a blessed one... If you don't celebrate  it then I'm sorry to say you might be a bit bored with my post.  Of all the holidays, I celebrate, I can say Easter means more to me than all the others!  I hope you watch the video above.  Christians everywhere worshiped their living and Risen Savior today!  You know what would be even better?  If you and I woke up with the same awe and wonder tomorrow about Christ coming to earth, living a perfect life, dying in our place and becoming alive again.  I have a confession to make, most days I don't live with this amazing sense of purpose and victory my Savior has afforded me.....  Oh I long to live in such a way that declares hope to others.  How I want to give as He gives and love as He loves!

    On Thursday a dear friend of mine, her husband and 2 children were in a terrible wreck, when a deer came through their windshield and landed in the backseat.  Praise God they are alive, but their 6 month old baby has bleeding on the brain, and my friend's husband has many surgical procedures ahead, and a long road to full recovery.  Please remember them in prayer with me.  Also My friend's dad was diagnosed with Leukemia recently.  Through it all, the Hand/Humbert family clinging ever so tightly to the hope that comes from a living Savior! Only A Savior, who is worthy-Jesus Christ has made the impossible, possible friends!  What if Easter were tomorrow and every day after that?  You know what, as Christians, I think that  is as it should be!  What do you enjoy celebrating and why do you celebrate it?

Grace Rediscovered!

This year a couple of friends and family members have given me monetary gifts for no particular reason than to show an act of love. Of course my first response was to gladly accept, and then say thank you. I enjoyed having the extra money. I did not question why it was given to me, I simply enjoyed and appreciated it. The unexpected and undeserved gifts made me want to bless others in a similar way   .  As I though upon this, it became clear to me what I needed to write about to each of you. If I had to describe the year 2012 in spiritual terms for me personally, then I would entitle it grace rediscovered. Here's what I mean… Intellectually I know that the word grace means unmerited or undeserved favor. In spiritual terms, I know that it means the unmerited or undeserved favor of God toward man. To be honest though, f when I heard the term grace, all I could think of was the word undeserved.  In the course of my life thus far in 29 years I must've heard at least  a 1000+ sermons on the subject of grace.  I shamefully admit that I would find myself cringing at the topic from time to time, because in my mind that was code for hearing a sermon on how unworthy or undeserving I was, and I honestly needed no help in the self loathing department . This wasn't actually how grace was  presented to me , but most often it was the way I interpreted it.  It wasn't actually until this year, that I began looking at grace differently. You see I was so focused on my unworthiness and no goodness. I struggled about how  how undeserving I am of God's gift, not only at salvation, but also of a relationship with him, that somewhere I missed or forgot the joy and victory that comes with having God's favor through Christ. We hear often times that  so much of life is about balance the same is true of our faith. When I exalt total depravity above that of God's favor and kindness, then I am left with little joy or peace. Likewise, when I focus only on God's kindness without regard for his holiness, then I missed the awe and wonder of who God is.  Grace has always been a difficult concept for me to grasp at least on the heart level, but even shots of it glimpses have made  a different for me over the last few months. I don't so much fear God punishing me when I do something wrong. I find it easier to not assume that when something goes wrong it's my fault. I guess that's what happens when grace starts to become real, as opposed to a theological  concept passed down from one generation to the next. If I've learned anything and continue to learn anything, it is that knowing grace and experiencing it, are not one in the same.  Was I a Christian before my rediscovery of grace yes.  However, it is in those times when I am not experiencing or living in light of grace, that I am the most miserable unhappy Christian on the planet.  I don't believe that I'm the only Christian out there, who found herself intellectually believing a message, that she was not tangibly and personally experiencing on a daily basis. This all began for me when I was challenged to answer the question what is God's heart toward me. After much searching and inner turmoil this year, I find myself going back to the simplicity of childlike faith found in John 3: 16 ""for God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whosoever believes in him shall have everlasting life""  God  is love, and his love motivated his plan to reconcile you and me to himself Romans 5:8. One of the misconceptions I have had about grace is that it mostly applied only to the gift of salvation with regards to eternal life. Yes, this in itself is more than we could ever deserve to or hope for, but it isn't wrong to want to experience a portion of fullness in the Christian life now.  John 10:10 Jesus said, "" I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly. Paraphrase emphasis mine. What is going to make a lost person want what a Christian has, when a Christian doesn't even know what they have, beyond eternal life, or at least is not living in the reality of grace?  It will no doubt be a lifelong and perhaps an eternity long process, for me to embrace experiencing grace, but I want it desperately personally and intimately.  I need it like I need air I don't want it just for me, I want for the 80-year-old lady who has been in church her whole life.  I want it for the girl who finds herself pregnant, and feels that no one will give her a second thought. I want it for the Christians who like me, have felt as though they are missing something essential to their faith. I want it for the minister, who has forced himself to be satisfied with a conversion record and has little expectation beyond that.   I want it for the person who has never come to Christ, and who wonders if grace is a fantasy..  I issue myself a challenge, and I extended to you as well. Let us ask God to make his grace a tangible reality in our lives! Join me in prayer for God's grace to sustain us and flow through us in 2013.  Are you you ready to open and reopen our gift?

Put Some Easter inside your Christmas

I can hardly believe I haven't posted since the day before Thanksgiving.  I have tried to visit some of your blogs, but hopefully this week I will be able to get to posting as well as commenting on your posts. If you find mistakes as you read, I am using voice activated software. While I try to catch mistakes before I post that doesn't always happen.  Yesterday I had one of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. My mom, aunt, grandmother and I had the amazing privilege of seeing The Radio City Christmas Spectacular with the Rockettes. To be honest, I had no expectation. We left early yesterday morning for Nashville. While we did have some complications with the wheelchair lift on our van, God intervened by using a young guy who worked at the hotel to help us find the emergency override switch, so that we would not miss this great event. He was a direct answer to all of our prayers. Though I don't know him by name I will forever be grateful for his willingness to go the extra mile.  Now on to what I just can't wait to tell you about the show itself.  Make no mistake whatever you read about here, will be a pitiful attempt to describe something wondrous!  I didn't realize all that was involved with the show. I have seen the Rockettes on TV during the snapshot of the Macy's Day Parade, but never in my most vivid imagination could I have imagined something so amazing!  The lights, prompts, music and cast were all breathtaking.  The glitz and glamour of the entire experience filled the air!  The precision and timing of the scenes were indescribable.  Even as I tell you the details in general, I know that it is one of those experiences words will fail to actually paint a tiny glimpse of the actual reality.  You see it was so much more than women in glamorous outfits working in unison to provide a feast for the eyes.  It was an illustration of the Majesty of the living God. Let me explain further, this was a gift that I would not of missed or the world.  There was a glorious live Nativity scene, and as the narrator told the story of the Christ Child, I was mesmerized.  I was awed by the visual, but more than that I was reminded that it isn't just a story that has touched humanity forever, though that is true for some. My heart and spirit were recaptured, not by a story that provides a warm sensation like that of a Hallmark card, or  simply a symbolic meaning, that offers a moral lesson  I experienced deeply personal worship hrough seeing this live Nativity Scene  for me, God coming in flesh as Jesus Christ, changed my entire destiny. It is more than the baby in the Manger. Many people around the world including prominent celebrities are comfortable with the idea of a baby bringing joy to the world. They're even content to have others make the baby in the manger the object of worship.  The only problem is that baby isn't just a baby. He is and always has been the King of Kings and Lord of Lords!  There is no one who compares with the Savior. He is deeply personal!  I don't mean this as a put down to celebrities in general, but I'm always fascinated by the fact that Hollywood is quick to give admiration by singing Christ centered Christmas carols however once the story progresses past that of the baby in the manger then suddenly the rest of the story is left out or not acknowledged at all. Oh how the world is missing out, failing to see the rest of the story. It is the story that makes many of our lives worth living. The story that isn't just a story, but is as real as the stars in the sky! I told you that this story, change my life and continues to change it today. This is because, there really is no beginning to it, and there is no end. Unless of course, you start at the beginning of the creation account, and proceed from there. God Chose a particular time in history to become man. He chose to limit himself, to allow himself to feel hunger, sadness, anger and joy.  Matthew chapter 1 tells us that Jesus is literally God with us.  It means that the living God sees me, and is willing to go with me in good times and in bad. It means that when life doesn't make sense, there is still hope for me and you, because the amazing thing about Christmas is that it doesn't end in a manger.  In fact, it doesn't end at all. The Bible says that God's kingdom and Christ his son will reign forever!  As beautiful, as the Radio City spectacular was, and believe me it was beautiful – it could never compare to the birth of Jesus Christ, and the lives that continue to be changed not only by God becoming flesh, but the continuation of the rest of the story. An earthly ministry followed by the most gruesome death in history, and a miraculous resurrection from the dead that would allow ordinary people to  have a relationship, with The Extraordinary, Almighty God!  So I ask you, is Christmas a big deal to you or has it lost its joy?  Will you join me in reclaiming the real Christmas joy?

At Least 100 Reasons I'm Thankful

100 Reasons I can say I'm thankful...  How about you?  Note they are in Random Order.  I did not list every person or item.  I tried to list a lot of new things I'n thankful for, but note I repeated some from years past, and did not repeat many of things and people I still give thanks for from years past.  Ok, I hope you guys have a Happy Thanksgiving.  Every day there are reasons to give thanks!

1. The Gospel that makes my life worth living
2. That the Gospel is becoming real to me again
3. The unconditional Love of God isn't a fairy-tale
4. God is forgiving God
5. God is unchanging
6. The blood of Jesus
7. The Empty Tomb
8.  I matter to God
9. God is compassionate
10. God is not distant
11. God is not holding my sins against me
12. God is not unresponsive
13. God is not unavailable 
14. God is trustworthy
15. God is not uninterested in the details concerning me
16. God listens to me.  
17. He knows my past, present, and future
18. When I die, I'll be in heaven. 
19. One day I will be able to kneel before God's throne
20. God works all things together for my good
21. God sees me.  
22. God is my companion
23.  The Holy Spirit revealing truth about who God is
24. Safety and protection from harm
25. The supernatural ability to forgive others
26. My thorns in the flesh
27. God's discipline, even though I didn't want it
28. God's kindness and mercy towards me    
29. God keeps his promises
30. The freedom to worship God
31. The Beauty of God's creation
32. The beauty of the Body of Christ/ my church and God's provision  All who have helped me and my family
33. My mom who is an inspiration and sometimes looney too smile
34. For SCRI for helping her fight cancer, and the fact that she is currently stable
35. My brother who sometimes surprises me.
36. My grandmother who loves her grandchildren with her whole heart
37. My mom's stable Health and retirement and approval for disability
38. Food
39. Being prayed for
40. Our Beach Trip as a family
41. Macy
42. My Aunt Margaret who is fun loving and spunky and my uncle who always supports her in everything she does,
43.   A house and a home.
44. The chance to minister to others
45. My friends and family and my circle
46. - Brained Hills Baptist church
47. Linda Smith
48. My caregivers Donna and Mary
49. The Hand Family
50. My Pastor- whose humor and kindness are evident 
51. The counsel and support  of John and Beth Barber this year especially.
52. The Passion for worship and musical talent of Jeff Clark 
53. The joy of seeing  my church  youth group being led by Matthew and Erica  Also others in Church
54. All church staff and their families who have their own gifts and use them well 
55. Mike Lofton  his consistent friendly demeanor
56. Michael Steffey's commitment to Children's Ministry  and the unborn
57. My Choices Family.
58. God's responses to my prayers in his way and time
59. The Gift of She Speaks conference
60. Cousins I love.
61. Signal Centers AT Center my computer
62.  Jennifer Nichols and The Ritzhaupt family for this year's courage award.Sarah Mak and Ezra Reynolds.
63. My health. 
64. Unborn babies and women who have been spared from abortion
65. The chance to plant seeds in peoples lives
66. Being part of  an extended family who supports each other. 
67. The ability to contact my dad any time I choose to.
68. My GA. family 
69. Sitting in a Beach chair on the Beach.
70. The gift of keeping up with out of town friends.  
71. Living in America
72. Material gifts
73. Speaking at the Bloom Conference
74. Being prayed by David Dees before speaking.
75. Meeting Hunter Dees
76. Missing Pieces Bible study
77. The Nelson family and the testimony they are living 
78. Mike Hand is cancer free
79. That My grandmother is well
80. Phone calls with friends
81. Access to God's word
82. Encouragement and blessings from others.
83. A working chair and hospital bed
84. Books that have blessed me.
85. Children who've touched my heart
86. A good score on my speaker e-val
87. Baby Hope Humbert who I still haven't met
88. Reconnecting with old friends
89.  the Kindness of strangers.
90. The Rare moment of seeing a sunrise.
91. The chance to write to bless others
92. Laughter with my mom
93. people who affirm me.
94. Lessons learned through pain
95. Contentment felt
96. Discovering first impressions can be wrong
97. Caringbridge Website
98. Hot water
99. Nice clothes  
100. My Blog friends

Did you make it to the end?  

I'm SO Excited, and I Just Wont Hide it! Part 1

                           

                                       Image 





Have you ever had a season in life where you were just bursting to make a big announcement, like you have something you are just itching to tell something to someone and then as your excitement builds, and you finally do tell the big news, you are disappointed by the lack of excitement expressed by the person receiving the news?  I get excited pretty easily.  I'm not the type of person who finds it easy it to conceal my joy or my sadness.    So often when I share my excitement, people are like okay that's great, but can we move on now?  If you go back a couple posts before my last one, you will see that I have been on a journey in my own faith walk to discover and embrace the compassionate nature of God.  I have to be honest, a few months ago, I would not have claimed that compassion of God was a concept that entered my mind too often, at least, not in the context of God desiring to show me compassion.  However. for some time now, every verse I read brings me back to God's own kindness towards me AND YOU.  I suspect strongly that many people might say this concept excites me too much, but this is one time I'll say I beg to differ.  When you have wrested with doubts, and believed that God is distant and uninterested in you and the details of your life, then the promise of God's compassionate and merciful hand is like fireworks on the fourth of July or water in the desert.  When we see that God forgives us and willingly offered to forgive us by paying our sin debt because He loves and values us, it changes the way we relate to God.  Maybe I should write it this way, it has changed how I relate to God.    Are you trusting what others have shown you or told you about God, or are you inviting God to show you who He is?  Do you run or hide from the compassion and forgiveness of God or do you receive it with gladness and a thankful heart?  Friends I hope with all my heart, that you are able to dwell in the wonder of God's love, forgiveness and acceptance of you.  There is so much in this to be excited about.  As wonderful as it will be to spend eternity with God as believers, we don't have to wait to experience so many of the amazing benefits of living eternal life right now.  There is more than the future promise of heaven, there is the unshakable reality of God's comfort, compassion and forgiveness NOW.  It does not mean we won't have pain, now or conflict now or questions now, but we can endure these things, if we believe that God cares about us.  that we are safe, and forgiven!  So tell me what has rocked your world lately?  What has the world accused you of being too excited about?  Or maybe you need to get excited about how blessed we,- you and I actually are!
Blessed is the one
    whose transgressions are forgiven,
    whose sins are covered.
² Blessed is the one
    whose sin the Lord does not count against them
    and in whose spirit is no deceit. Ps. 32:1-2  Text found here
   

As if this were not enough for me to be excited about I was nominated for a local award called the Susan Ritzhaupt Award given to people with physical disabilities who do volunteer work.  Such an honor so humbled.  I never had any desire or plans to be a disability poster girl, but I'm so blessed God is good!  For those of you who pray for my mom regarding her cancer trial, she has had only some very slight growth, and does very well with all she has been through,  We are both on the mend now.  Her iron is pretty low, so that will be watched closely.  I loved our vacation to the beach It was like heaven to me!  Pictures should be posted in entry soon.    Thanks for your comments, I value these....     

My New Friend Hannah!

Please allow me to introduce you to my new friend Hannah.  Hannah and I hit it off instantly.  We didn't meet in the mall at the grocery store. We didn't meet in a class. Oh Hannah and I had crossed paths several times, but it was only recently that we had a very personal encounter together.  Can you guess where I found Hannah?  I found Hannah in the pages of 1 Sam. 1:1-19  See Text.

 I never really imagined that we would have that much in common: but my heart connected with her on a level that I never expected. I will post the Scriptures for you so that you can read her story – well really God's story through her. Since it is rather lengthy though, I thought I would share her story through my own eyes with you. You may find elements or details of her story, which impact you differently than it did me. If this is the case, that's okay.  Let me know your thoughts.I sense that there may be some overlap in our impressions.  You see, Hannah had battled years of infertility. This is difficult enough, in our own culture today. However, in Hannah’s time: the inability to conceive a child was like wearing a badge of shame across one's chest.  To make matters worse, Scriptures is quick to tell us that Hannah's heart's desire was to have a child.  She found herself going to  God’s House, and earnestly crying out to God to grant her desire. I gather from Scripture, Hannah’s soul was becoming embittered.  I wonder if she stayed awake at night wondering what made the other women more worthy of having a child than she was. I wonder if there were nights, that it put a wedge between her and the God she worshiped. Then There was Hannah’s foe that provoked her on her regular basis regarding her inability to conceive.  This wasn’t a one  time deal, this was something Hannah faced year after year.  How unfair does that seem to you?  From where I sit that seems pretty unfair to me. In fact, the very idea makes my blood boil.  I'm reminded though,   that   based on later events, the taunts did not go unnoticed by God.  I don't think that God's children being ridiculed whether in minor, form or major form, is something God takes lightly.  Can you imagine the baggage her rival may have carried to need to provoke Hannah so much?   Life isn't fair on earth, sometimes it is better than fair, and sometimes it is nowhere close.  One day I believe all the unfairness of life, will make sense to us when we are able to see things from God’s perspective. Isa.  55-9

The priest, who was on duty there at the time, accused Hannah of being drunk, because she was praying so intently in such a distraught state of mind.  I smile because it kind of reminds me of the time I burnt the top of our fish tank, because I wasn't watching the candle that was sitting there as I went down my prayer list.  Don't you know that Hannah's priest likely felt so small, as a result of his assumption?   I can't be too hard on Eli, because I see him in the mirror many times staring me in the face. How many times, do I reflect that attitude of being quick to assume something without knowing all the factors involved in the situation? Can you relate? Sometimes I bet we are all like the priest Hannah encountered.  Hannah's husband, though I have no reason to believe that he didn't love her dearly; put salt in her wound by placing a guilt trip on her. He challenged whether or not, he was sufficient to satisfy her instead of her longing for a child.   Though, I suspect his rash response was brought on, by his inability to fix the problem for her, it probably wasn't the best form of encouragement to her at that time.  In short, Hannah asked God for a son, and promised that if he would answer her prayer,  she vowed to dedicate her son to the Lord for his entire life. This wasn't just a formality to her. This would mean she would give up all rights to this child as in she would only see him for short periods of time, and he would not live under the same roof with her. She would not get to develop the routine of seeing his milestones after a certain age.  It's interesting to me, that Scripture later says that after she had an intimate time of being in the presence of the Lord talking with him and pouring her heart out to him, she was no longer downcast.  Nothing that I can see in Scripture guarantees at that point in time that Hannah would get her prayer answered exactly the way she wanted it.  It makes a powerful statement to me that it must have been the act of pouring her heart out to God and sensing his care and awareness that lifted her burden. It wasn't immediately getting her desired outcome, which blessed Hannah the most.  It had to be her trust in the fact that her thoughts and feelings mattered to God.  I can imagine the relief she felt knowing that she was heard.   It was the same relief and hope God extended to me as her story reflected the condition of my own own heart over mattes in my own life.  How it must have done her heart good to know that she had the attention of the Almighty God!  How it must have ministered to her to know that God did not dismiss her sorrow or ignore her plea. Prayer doesn't always result in the changing of our circumstances, but it almost always invites us to a change in perspective! Hannah's story is one that recently resonated with my heart in so many ways.  Hannah got her happy ending, but even if she had not, I believe that based on her character and her willingness to be obedient to God: she would have remained faithful and stayed close to her God!  I hope the same is true of us!  These were powerful revelations for me!it is my hope that they will be both a comfort and a challenge to you.  

God Uses Dogs As Teachers

I'm not sure why, but at times for most of my life I've had seasons where I have struggled to embrace joy in my life.  I have a life filled with blessings there is not question about that.  Fall contains, well in reality September sometimes causes painful memories to resurface in my mind.  I recently was reminded of God's compassion in a fresh new way, and I giggled at the timing.  My brother's dog Macy dives regularly in my lap to give me love and affection,  She is a sweet slightly over sized Golden Retriever!  She is tender, gentle, playful, and sometimes gets in a bit of trouble.   She is loyal, affectionate, and I'm convinced she adores me, and I'm not the least bit humble about it.  It is kind of sad that if she comes to me, I often stop whatever I am doing, and fix my eyes on her!  I do  fuss at her when she does things she should not do, but I love her dearly.  Her adorable brown eyes capture me in an instant.  I love her more than I ever expected to!  She listens better than some people do!  I would not dream of neglecting her much less, refusing her love and affection.  It occurs to me that I am willing to receive and give such love to one of God's creature's how much more should I be willing to accept and offer  love to the God who freely loves me?  I don't ask Macy why she loves me, partly because she can't answer me, but also because I'm simply enjoying her love and compassionate nature.  What if I approached and received God's love and compassion in a similar way?  Before you dare to think, that I'm comparing a lowly creature with God I'm not.  I know that God is strong, powerful, just, and King Of Kings and Lord of Lords.  I also know it is very easy for me to discount or overlook God's compassion towards me.  That is until I came across Isa. 30:18 which has given me joy repeatedly in recent days!     " Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
    therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
    Blessed are all who wait for him!" Isa. 30:18 NIV

  "You gave me life and faithful love,
and Your care has guarded my life" HCSB Job 10:12  

    Do you tend to lean toward one of God's character traits over others?  What helps you stay balanced?  What helps you to remember that God is both just and compassionate in his nature?  Do you celebrate one, but shy away from the other?  If so I understand your struggle as it is mine as well.  I want to have a more balanced view of God, and for now, he is using one of his beloved creations to help me do just that! God has and is the perfect balance!

A Dose of Real and Thankful thrown in!

I have started several posts, this week and well thoose just haven't worked well.  Today is Friday, so mom will return home from Nashville tomorrow.  Sometimes, I think that when people know you love to write, they somehow think it comes easy to express yourself, but guess what it isn't.  When I write, what's in my heart comes out.  I wish sometimes I could write about surface stuff but I can't.  I wonder sometimes does this make me a bad writer?  I sometimes would love to write about what I had for lunch, but I'm easily bored by small talk, and am often seen as "too serious" because I like to have deep enriching conversations, though those  are often seasoned with humor.  I often feel melancholy, because in reality sometimes it takes every ounce in me to hide my true feelings and thoughts about things.  People don't want real too often, they want nice, neat and simple.  I take comfort in the fact that I can't pretend with God.  I'm learning slowly that there is no pretense with God.  He knows me, and doesn't grow tired of me, that amazes me.  I often want to write about having a family member who has cancer, and encourage others, but sometimes it feels like people don't want to read too much about that, because it provides a reality check for those who read.  I also sometimes want to write about the ups and downs of CP, but I'm not sure how that will come across to readers either.  I want to write about anger and bitterness .  I want to write about hope in trials, but I'm well aware  I risk losing the readers I have by doing so.  So as this swirls around in my brain, in the meantime,- I will tell you what I'm thankful for:

1. I'm thankful my mom's new trial is going so well so far.
2. Friends who are real.
3. Conflicts resolved 
4. The joy of prayer and repentance
5. New mercies 
6. Good books 
7. The right to process information before making it public.  

So now for the small talk what are your plans for the weekend?  Half Full Friday is sponsored byhttp://butterfly-wyldechylde.blogspot.com/2012/08/half-full-friday_24.html Thanks Sprinkles.  

The BIG "C- Christ, is Able to fight the little "c- cancer

tonight I  write you my readers, with a heavy heart for a few people fighting the little c- cancer.  This idea of the little c cancer did not originate with me, but I heard it when my mom first found out she had cancer in 2008.  It isn't that cancer is a little thing at all.  What is true though is the Big C stands not for cancer, but for Christ.  At another time, I will write about how my mom is doing, and the journey we are on, but right now I want to ask you to pray for a 16 year old girl named Jordan who has cancer of the brain from my church.  She will begin the radiation process tomorrow.  Please remember her and her family in your prayers.  Please pray for healing, comfort, peace, and strength!  Pray for her daily.  If I continue to learn anything in the past 4\ years, it is this... No matter what, Christ will always be bigger than cancer.  I don't always know what that looks like, but I know it is true!  
  Please also pray for my blogger friend Beth, whose sister is in the wanting process of test results!  Thank you!  

Wound Healer Part 1.

                During one of my mom’s many surgeries, she was forced to be left with an open wound. The purpose of this was so that the highly dangerous infection in her leg would be able to properly drain. This required home health nurses having to come on a daily basis to pack her leg, so that it would properly heal without leaving a gaping permanent hole.  During this time, it was frustrating for my mom, because it was time-consuming, uncomfortable and required her to have to depend on someone else for her needs.  Her leg had to packed for proper care. As I thought about this, it occurred to me that this is what happens when we as Christians experience wounds of a different kind.  I realized recently how deep the wound of rejection can be.  Over years of writing on this blog, I’ve discovered that one of the topical issues I tend to write in one form another is rejection. This is one of my wounds.  I believe that there are a couple of unhealthy ways that I have dealt with the pain of rejection.  One way is by avoiding conflict at all costs.  It's probably obvious, but this is an unhealthy habit because it's impossible.  I've always been intrigued by the fact that Jesus never seemed to run from conflict. Maybe the reason I am so quick to avoid conflict, is because I know that more often than not I will not respond how Jesus did. You see, Jesus was far from a people pleaser like me.  When Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness in matthew chapter 4, he didn't become rattled because he knew who he was. He knew whose approval he already had.  I have a really bad habit of not telling people when my feelings are hurt; instead I try to rationalize away the hurt I feel, so that I can avoid conflict. It's a vicious cycle I know that.   

Image

      Going back to the wound analogy with my mom, I'm discovering that just as her physical wound had to be packed, we as Christians cannot expect our wounds whatever they may be to just fade away into the night. Without ever having surrendered  to Christ to bring healing.  We cannot know the supernatural power of healing to our wounds apart from The Wound Healer  Some wounds heal quicker than others. Some can be treated with a quick apology, while others like my mom’s take time to treat properly.  In Isaiah 61 Jesus proclaims that one of the reasons he came, was to heal the brokenhearted.    As I was laying awake late the other night,  a wound came up that I continue to push away without addressing it.  I'm sure it is because I know it will be uncomfortable. It will require my choosing to let go and not holding on. I might have to risk losing the approval of others and having conversations I'd rather not have. I sometimes wonder if what attracted crowds to Jesus, was his willingness to do the hard things.  If my mom had not allowed her leg to be treated properly, then it would have left her impaired in some way. Now of course in my mom's case, the choice seems like no choice at all.  Of course, you're going to take the necessary steps to healing. On a spiritual level though, most of us – well okay I don't want to do the work necessary to promote healing. Sure, I want the benefits of allowing the Lord to heal the wounds but am I willing to do the hard work to get there?  I'm learning that when we hold our wounds near to our hearts without surrendering these to Christ, we find ourselves impaired in different ways. “He heals the brokenhearted” and bandages their wounds.”  Ps. 147:3 Much like my mom would have experienced, if she had chosen not to allow the time and effort it took to accomplish the task. I realize this is kind of a psychology-based post but that was never my intention. So I have a few questions for you, my readers: have you experienced a type of emotional healing that only entrusting Christ can accomplish?  While I know this is a particularly difficult topic – and I'm not asking for specifics, I'm wondering are there pieces of advice you would give to those on the outside looking in? If you are still waiting on, or in the process of a continual healing, built on the foundation of Christ, what are some tools you would be willing to share?  For me, I'm learning that there are some wounds that only Christ can heal. I'm also learning that running away from that which I don't want to face is harmful.  Sometimes what hurts us seems insignificant to others, but how comforting it is to know that to Christ all of our wounds are important. No matter how insignificant we may think these to be.  Sometimes for me I replay different forms of rejection, to the point that these have become an unspoken expectation of my own.  It was only as I’m beginning to bring these to Christ, which I have discovered Christ never desired for his children to believe or be driven by wounds of rejection.  I’m not saying that I’ve faced rejection to the degree that lots of people have, but that still does not change the fact that God cares, or overshadow the need for God’s supernatural healing    I hope this won't be the last word on the subject.  I also want to write about what it is like to be the person inflicting the wound. I have been on both sides of the coin.