Celebrate the Gift!

Imagine my surprise when someone who features quality blog content on their website decides to feature my blog.  I thought It was a joke or scam.   I haven't traveled the world, and I'm not the funniest gal on the block.  Though I do have a sense humor all my own that I like to think comes from my mom.  If anything these last few weeks bluntly revealed  a confidence crisis for reasons that need not be shared here.  I began doubting my ability to do much of anything right.  Between an annoying mild case of shingles, Steady changes at a volunteer job I love, and a dog who despite the vet's objections though reasonable,,I'm still convinced needs anxiety medication.  Oh and adjusting to a new chair, and examining many of the life choices I have made, and trying to improve.  I've stated before how I have a difficult time with seasons of change.  When mom passed in April I honestly do believe I coped well with saying not goodbye but see you later.  In last two months, it has registered to my heart and mind.I have to live the rest of my days on earth without her involvement and help.  Yes, I did that very thing once she was too sick, but in those months all I expected was to survive by the grace of God, and I did. Now the expectation is that I will thrive and live, and until now I have never imagined my life without hers too.   I've been an adult, but never one without her input and support,     There is a fine line whoever between sincere improvement directed by the Holy Spirit, and just plan apologizing for who God created you to be, and over the last couple of months it has developed into the second category for me . As Christians sometimes I think we get caught up in this thinking that it is somehow God's desire for us to see how truly bad we are, and only then can we see the value of God's goodness.  If you don't relate, don't stay on this statement.    I realize there has to be a balance.  Prideful and arrogant thinking are not pleasing to God, but neither is shaping yourself to match who you and others say you should be  This has been difficult in the area of grief, because everyone including myself envisions there own view of what grief should or should not be.     Back to the first sentence I wrote I was shocked and exited to learn someone who does not know me decided my writing is valuable to others.  I also take it far too personally when people have some type of content criticism of what I write. I don't mind grammatical and structural correction, but content is hard.   Thoughts of trying to make my writing what others want to read isn't a bad thing, but if that is my focus, not only is my motive wrong, I am missing the opportunity to be who God designed and created me to be.   New Year  resolutions aren't appealing to me, but there is one desire I have going forward and that is to focus on valuing the gifts and blessings God gives me. If I do this, It will also motivate me to minster to others who need to know that even if one person's life is blessed by theirs, then  life has purpose and even more they may come to know how deeply they are loved by The Creator Himself!  When we are living out our purpose we are fulfilled. When we are fulfilled by the One  who gives us purpose and value, then our focus becomes not on  finding our value, but in serving and giving to others.  As many around the country this weekend proclaim that Life is a gift, and each person has worth, I wonder what the world would like if we strive to take three actions. Do something along with me. Take a moment not to focus on your flaws, but to celebrate your gifts.  If you are like me, you'll find it much easier to calculate your missteps, than to celebrate your strengths and your progress. Second, Tell someone they matter, and in some small way SHOW them. It might be a card, a compliment, a prayer, a hug, or a creative gesture.     Third, Thank the people who celebrate and encourage you.  Thank God privately for using others to encourage you. Name some of those people as you give thanks for them.  Ready, yeah I'm going to do it with you.  When we are done let's start over tomorrow. 

Life in Photos

New TV for my birthday a couple weeks ago!

Sometimes we must live our life before we can write about it...Here are some pictures of me simply living life!

Bumped into a friend from youth group years ago @ Spring for Life!

A Dose of Real and Thankful thrown in!

I have started several posts, this week and well thoose just haven't worked well.  Today is Friday, so mom will return home from Nashville tomorrow.  Sometimes, I think that when people know you love to write, they somehow think it comes easy to express yourself, but guess what it isn't.  When I write, what's in my heart comes out.  I wish sometimes I could write about surface stuff but I can't.  I wonder sometimes does this make me a bad writer?  I sometimes would love to write about what I had for lunch, but I'm easily bored by small talk, and am often seen as "too serious" because I like to have deep enriching conversations, though those  are often seasoned with humor.  I often feel melancholy, because in reality sometimes it takes every ounce in me to hide my true feelings and thoughts about things.  People don't want real too often, they want nice, neat and simple.  I take comfort in the fact that I can't pretend with God.  I'm learning slowly that there is no pretense with God.  He knows me, and doesn't grow tired of me, that amazes me.  I often want to write about having a family member who has cancer, and encourage others, but sometimes it feels like people don't want to read too much about that, because it provides a reality check for those who read.  I also sometimes want to write about the ups and downs of CP, but I'm not sure how that will come across to readers either.  I want to write about anger and bitterness .  I want to write about hope in trials, but I'm well aware  I risk losing the readers I have by doing so.  So as this swirls around in my brain, in the meantime,- I will tell you what I'm thankful for:

1. I'm thankful my mom's new trial is going so well so far.
2. Friends who are real.
3. Conflicts resolved 
4. The joy of prayer and repentance
5. New mercies 
6. Good books 
7. The right to process information before making it public.  

So now for the small talk what are your plans for the weekend?  Half Full Friday is sponsored byhttp://butterfly-wyldechylde.blogspot.com/2012/08/half-full-friday_24.html Thanks Sprinkles.  

Trip with Mom to SCRI In Nashville

Dear Friends,

I am still processing many things in mind as I write.  Last Wed I went with my mom to Nashville for her SCRI visit.  This is where she has been undergoing a clinical trial, since they adjusted her dose most of her terrible side effects have stopped   I didn’t know what to expect, but I’m so glad I went.  While I don’t know any patients by name, I felt strangely bonded and comforted, and saddened  in knowing that they  too were facing the very same fight, sure the type of cancer might be different as well as the story, but the journey is much the same as my mom’s.  There is this silent understanding that I sensed as I observed this room full of cancer fighters and survivors.  Each different ages, different classes, and personalities, nonetheless connected by a path they would have never willingly chosen   I chuckled inside myself as a man battling cancer in his later years, instructed a woman with him, I assume she was his wife of many years, how to use her new high tech cell phone.  The two of them were quite humorous, and exchanged dirty inside jokes about each other.  I honestly didn’t know which one of them was fighting cancer, but was surprised by how at ease and familiar they seemed in their surroundings.     Mom and I met a couple who was from AL, but the husband grew up in Chattanooga on Danby Drive.  His liver cancer had reached a point where doctors even at SCRI told him they could no longer help him, and it was time to call in Hospice.  They took him off all treatments, and told him the end was near.  Shortly after that he began to feel better, so they did a scan and discovered that his cancer had reversed, God did a miracle in this man’s life.  His cancer is now the size of a twinkle in his liver and He is now able to undergo a clinical trial at SCRI.  There was another woman there from Chattanooga who took the Greyhound bus to get there.  I was reminded how blessed mom and our family is to have so much support.  I met a lady who offered me a soda while mom was in lab.  She was older, and I loved that despite the fact that she has incurable kidney cancer, and cancer of the shoulder, she still took time to notice me.  I asked her how long she had been coming, and she said a little over a year.  She said if this trial did not work she was going home, by home she meant heaven. She started to cry a little, and I felt bad for asking.  Almost as quickly as tears came, a peace came across her face, and she said “I know where I’m going” She said, the hardest thing would be leaving her family.  She showed me pictures of her grandchildren, and I realized on some level she wanted to share her story.  What she asked me next surprised me, she didn’t ask me about my wheelchair, which is what most people do, she asked me if I knew where I was going when I died, and if I had ever been baptized, to both questions I responded yes with a smile on my face, I don’t know if she asked about baptism, because she thinks baptism is needed to get to heaven, but I know I’ve prayed for her since our trip, and I hope I see her soon.  There was also a man who has been through 47 cycles on the same trial and is doing well.  I learned so much from this short trip.  One, I learned how blessed I am.  I learned there is always Hope.  I know we as Christians are suppose to believe it, and I suppose I have on some level, but it’s deeper now.    I discovered or rather was reminded that there are caring doctors.  There was a peace in knowing God can do anything!  Last, I remembered to cherish life in the moment, and not longing for more, but embracing the gift of a moment!  As a side note, I love the Lifeway  store in Nashville, and enjoyed the park with my mom after our time at SCRI.  I discovered that some patients stay in Nashville for months at a time, and how thankful I am my mom can make the weekly trips, and I’ve not had to be away from her from for more than a few days at a time.   

Tell me how your life is going?  Thanks for all your prayers for mom and us!

A week of celebration and Reflecting... Part 1

Wow what a busy 2 weeks it has been!  We have three family birthdays in April including my own. Last Sunday I turned 29....   My aunt decorated in my favorite colors, and the family had a steak/shrimp dinner for me!  My cousin Kim made an amazing birthday cake!   A friend from church hand painted a bucket with my name, and a butterfly on it, and it had my favorite candy bar inside!  Best friend day at Local Chattanooga Mall   We were crazy!  I have more exciting things to share, but I must close for now..  How was your week?

A Sermon In Progress that Changed it All!

 

      Hi Bloggers:

                                                           Image

          I know you are maybe surprised to find me  posting so soon after my declared departure.  I've made an important decision regarding this blog, and it seems only fair to include you, my readers in it.  When I began this blog, my goal was to share my own faith reflections with you and allow you to share yours too.  While I still want that to be the cause, but the truth is there are times when I am truly void of reflections, so I've decided that when I have something to share I will, and when I don't, I trust the readers I have left, will be gracious.  I am using a loner laptop as my computer crashed recently.  I also want to sometimes just blog about life, and the joys and sorrows that come with it.  One reason i felt compelled to stop blogging for a time, was because I fear my own transparency.  I know there are things that should not be shared on a blog, and I want to be private, but my transparency is hard to contain when I write, and I am trying to grow and mature in this, but at times it is difficult.

          On to the above pin, do you believe the  above pin about yourself and others- What do you believe about the above pin?    I remember the first time someone challenged me about my views on personal worth  with regard to myself and others.  A couple times in my life, I have heard people say, so-in so- is just worthless, because he/she does not do ABC or does not know this or that.  So naturally, when I was challenged by someone with the question, do you believe your worth and  worth of others is based on what they do or don't do or what they know, with hesitation I responded yes.    The person who asked me this several years ago,  looked at me with sorrow in her eyes, as if to say you poor thing...  I knew of course that salvation was a gift of grace  after all I had heard it often in my amazing Southern Baptist church, but didn't make the connection that just as my salvation comes from God, my worth is not dependent on my performance, but rather because I simply by existing, and therefore have even before I took my first breath outside the womb, am a reflection of my Creator. No that did not, nor does it mean I am saved from birth, but it does mean that we have value/worth before we are ever born.  Gen.1:26 Psalm 139.    Not long after that discussion, I discovered a biblical way of thinking changed me slowly, but nonetheless it changed me.  Sanctity of Human Life.  It  clicked like a fully lit Christmas tree!  God is the Author of life, that means He cared enough to create us uniquely and save us from the effects of death spiritually.  It means then, that you and I have value, we have worth, as hard as it is to accept sometimes, we have worth and there is nothing you and I can do or not to change that.  .Believe me I've tried to look for every reason possible reason to claim, myself worthless, but it a lie, and the truth remains human beings have worth, yes we are sinners, any  church in America should tell us that, but likewise scripture tells us God values us, and has a plan for us. Luke 12:7 Psalm 138:8.  Why am I telling you, because somebody told me, and It changed everything.  Yes, I battle lies that I'm worthless, that I'm a mistake, a burden, not smart, but since I know the truth now,I am accountable to live according to truth.  It is not anyone's fault that I followed a trail of lies for a good portion        of my life,  I have an amazing family, awesome church great friends, but the world feeds us lies, everyday, and I have spent years believing those lies, and I don't want believe these anymore, and I don't want you to either.  I'm not there yet, but will you come with me as I continue to take off the rags of lies, I've been wearing these a long time.  it isn't easy to put new ones on.  Come with me!  I'm sure you will find some new stuff to put on too!

Five Reasons the Pro-Life Movement is Winning on Abortion | LifeNews.com

Five Reasons the Pro-Life Movement is Winning on Abortion | LifeNews.com   

Walk for Life 2011

Walk for Life 2011

Reflections of Martin Luther King Jr.and Sanctity of Human Life

I was not alive when Dr. King was, but I truly am thankful for his integrity, as well as his dream!  I don't know the hardships he faced or the hardships of those who lived both before him and after him, but I do apologize for the suffering hurt, and mistreatment this world and yes we as a hate filled selfish people have    caused to people of all colors., and I extend an apology myself, for those moments, I have tolerated prejudice myself.  I apologize for the times I might have attempted to rationalize portions of American history, no matter how subtly, when their just isn't ANY justification that can be made for wickedness! I apologize for my stereotypes   unexamined.       .    I have never been to a march  in his name, but would some day like to.  I'm thankful for his non-violent approach and his reported sense of personal responsibility, and I wonder what would he say about our world today.  Would he see a dream fulfilled?  I sure hope so!  Would he say there is still progressed to made, I'm almost sure he would.    I often wonder would he stand up for other vulnerable people in our world today?  In my opinion, I think he would.    

For example what would Dr. King say about our homeless or  the message of Sanctity of Human Life? I'd like think he would fight not only for his people and cultural heritage, but others too, like the unborn or battered women.  The truth is the source of all injustice comes from the same thing sin, and a lack of regard for that of human life!

Sanctity of Human Life is so big in scope, that even I who advocate for the lives of women, and unborn children, cannot fully grasp it's impact.  I do know however, that much of what our culture claims as a fight for civil rights today, is a far cry from what heroes like MLK fought for then.  You see from everything I've read Martin Luther King, was a man who knew the Bible, and tried to live his life according to it.  Much of what we call Civil Rights today, is nothing more than sugar-coded self-centered motives that have no biblical foundation.    I'll tell you more about Sanctity of Human Life next time, and what it means to me, but I hope this writing serves as a prerequisite for the post to come. 

                                                                           What are your thoughts in response?  I've put it out there, so now it your turn as my blog reader to weigh in!

Let's Party Friday and More!

My cousin Kim made the beautiful cake it took her 12 hours!

                                                            Mumzie's Nephew Mike

Cousin Emily with Jocelyn & Brady.  Our pastor and music minster are in the background.

  Mumzie was so surpised she had no clue about her party

Add caption

Mumzie's Great Grandson Brady and his mom Mandy she works @ HairBenders

I was happy we spent all day planning

                                   

Singing Happy Birthday!

                                             Aunt Margaret(My mom sister and "the cake lady)


Cousins Jocelyn & Jack

 Wow a lot can happen in one week!  I'll begin with pics from last Saturday of Mumzie's 80th birthday and then go from there.  Honestly blogging is the last thing I need to be doing, as I have so many other deadlines, but sometimes a girl's gotta blog!

Now on to both Come Alive & half full Friday!  find out more Go Here

• I am joyful that my mom is feeling better, since she got very sick this week from a kidney infection and had to go to the ER.
• I am joyful that my email isn't spamming folks anymore.
• I am both joyful and thankful Jenn was able to stay with and take me care of while mom was at the hospital.
• I am joyful that both my brother and dad called this week
• I am Joyful that the Good Wife's new season began Tuesday. 
• I am joyful because of the progress I've made through God's grace, and that I'm not who I was. 
• I am joyful that I got the new Wonder album! (see post under Smitty Fan)

Come Alive Friday: Things that made me come alive this week. Sponsored By: 

1. Talking to Amy on the phone. See Favorite things tab.
2. A slow day @ Choices
3. The song Take My Breath Away.
4. Serving others)
5. The sunshine and Chicfila twice this week! 

       I've not shared spiritual reflections in awhile,  I hope to next post.  I enjoy your blogs too!

Some weeks are better than others

Hi Friends:

   I don't like to post when I'm not feeling well or when it has been a tough week, which is why I have not been quick to post.  It has not all been bad, and isn't anything earth shattering bad either, but my body is tired,  I have a chronic problem that has a long namr which I can't spell.  It is a type of baterical acne that is very painful in places I will not mention.  I've had it for years it is hormone related..  I take antibotics about every theree weeks, and have had minor surgery to remove infected tissue. 
On top of that I worked very late @ Choices, one day last week, and one of the other volunteers feelings wer hurt  by something connected to my aid, though I'm still not sure what the source of the hurt was, and while I usually have little trouble valadating someone's feelings, in this case, the fleshly side of me wanted to say life is too short to get your nose out of joint over junk.  I use to be one of the most senstive people alive, so to a degree I understand, but part of me just wanted to say please grow up.  I realized quicky this was prideful of me, and am asking God to help with my unrealistic expectations of other people.Thank God for medicine!  The happy highlights of my week were that I got to speak at Choices Shower last night, and I realize how I love speaking about Sanctity of Human Life.  I also had the most tasty grilled cheese burger  I've had in ages. I also found the coolest verse that I'll write about more later.Jer. 17:5-8Find it here!  I'm enjoying your comments please keep them coming!

That's MY MOM!

No, you are not imagining things, you have seen this pic before! It was from my Women of Joy post! It was the only recent picture of mom I could find to post. Happy Mother's day to all you mom's out there! Let me tell you a little about one of my favorite people. My mom! My mom and I have and are sharing an amazing journey called life. She is a woman of amazing strength. She is an amazing artist, A hard worker, a passionate teacher, A woman who is tough as nails, dependable, the life of any party. She lives her life by the motto "ACTIONS speaks LOUDER THAN WORDS. SHE IS GIVING. She will offer her time and talents to whoever needs them. She can find joy in almost anything. She rarely complains, but isn't fake, and does not sugar coat things. Her humor is totally contagious. She could dwell on how her life has difficult, but instead she lives life in the moment without excuses. She has a real desire to bless others, but is humble, never comfortable being the center of attention, unless it is for the sake of honoring another person. She is not afraid of looking stupid, as long it brings a smile. She loves crafts and secret projects. She loves to give people surprise gifts. She would do almost anything to show her children she loves them and has done so over and over! Some people might have allowed the challenges of single parenting cause them become to become bitter or self centered, but she never has. Through the last few years her faith in the Lord has grown and blossomed. There has never been a mother with more sacrificial love in her heart than mine. She is silly and fun! She has been a girl scout leader to physically challenged girls, hosted sleepovers, camp outs, pulled all nighters for school projects, attended numerous little league world series, games, given money when she didn't have much to spare. Sat in the rain to attend a concert that she had no desire to attend. She has traveled to a political rally for her daughter, sake when she had plenty of reasons not to. The list could go on forever, from being a prom driver to a 24 hour nurse. All of these things are only the beginning of why I am choosing to celebrate my mom today. "I thank my God as I think of her." Paraphrase of Phil. 1:3. If you mom is alive, and has blessed you in any way way at all, no matter how imperfect she might be celebrate her. If you have lost your mom, or do not have one who is involved in your life or who has treated you badly. I am so sorry, and I offer you heartfelt hugs and a prayer of comfort!.

Roll 4 Life 2010 Pics!

I was going to put my 1 one year old cousin Jack's pics on here, but mom deleted them, by mistake.... I have raised 750$ dollars so far thanks to some very generous people!

I took this pic! Can you tell? lol!

I don't like this pic, but it is the only one I had of me, by myself!

2010 Walk for Life! Go to http://www.choicesprcnow.org/ for more! Fundraiser for Choices PRC formely AAA Women Services.

GIFT OF GRACE! WHAT A WEEK!

Future TN Govenor/current TN CONGRESSMEN, ZACH WAMP!!!

Bo Davidson Actor on Bold & Beautiful/singer

Debbie Smith.... Wonderful lady.

Smitty and me!

I will explain how all this happened at some point, but for now I hope you enjoy what I wrote about my Cinderalla trip.

Some of you have kindly inquired about my trip to the Franklin TN for the Zach Wamp fundraiser at the home of Michael W. Smith and his wife Debbie. I still can't really believe it. I feel like it was a dream, but it wasn't it was real. We got there very early because we were not sure how to get my chair in. The gate opened right up. No pass code or anything. They live on a massive hill, a friend of theirs came to the van to say hello. Their 2 dogs’ one a beagle and another golden came to meet us. Copper and Kail. They also have a cat, but I didn't see her. We went up the big hill and through the bushes onto the side walk using ramps. We were not sure which entrance to take. Because there was a giant serving table in the path of one of the entrances. We waited not sure what to do, and I noticed a young girl who I still believe is Michael's youngest daughter Anna trying to get one of their dog's on a leash, but I didn't have the courage to ask her. A few minutes later an older man came over to us, and showed us a more level entrance. I had a hunch he was there Pastor because I had seen photos of him, but again I didn’t dare ask. We thanked him very much! We still weren’t sure if it was too early to go in, so we hesitated. Suddenly I noticed a figure at the door and I was sure my eyes were playing tricks on me. No, there he was dressed in a suit which I personally believe is out of his comfort. He came to the door, and said hey so glad you came, did you have any trouble getting in here? I flashed the best smile I could trying not to seem too eager He took my hand and said great to see you come on in! We went into the living room, and I knew his wife Debbie as soon as I saw. I thanked her for having us, and asked her it was okay if I hugged her, I know bold move, but I was overcome with respect for her. Some time later Kim Wamp came over to my friend Jerry, and he introduced us. She was polite and classy. CONGRESSMEN soon to be Governor Wamp soon followed. He was kind, and not at all stand offish. Jerry told him I volunteered with Choices and his face lit up, and he said something like that is wonderful, We Tennesseans are proud to defend the cause of all live aren’t we? The next thing I know he gave me a kiss on the forehand and check, I watched as some people got their fundraiser photos with Zach and Smitty next to the fireplace. I was not envious, at all, I was loving watching them move, and imagining what they said, and noticing little details about the house to be continued soon! In Part 2!
Zach Wamp Fundraiser Part 2…. . Also sorry so long! We didn’t eat anything at Smitty’s house. It wasn’t for lack of food. There was plenty of it! I was surprised by how calm I was. Remember I told you earlier that an older man showed us how to enter into the house, and how I said I thought He was their Pastor? He later introduced himself Don Finto I never mentioned that I knew he was their Pastor, but I told my friends Debbie and Jerry later. We met Harold and Lil Coker of Coker tires. I was thirsty, so mom got me a bottle of water. I guess I was expecting disani, and figured if I am a water snob they would be too. I guess not, since it was aquafina. Let me just tell you Zach Wamp’s son Weston is at least 4 years younger than me, but If I he didn’t have a lovely girlfriend I would so chase him down! Later, they asked everyone to move outside on the deck for the speech and performance. I got pretty close, and we waited and watch as people mingled a little more. I noticed that Michael seemed to move quickly as if he were almost running or pacing. I love there deck, I think from what I saw it was my favorite. There were photos of their family in every single room in every corner I saw. Smitty brought his Keyboard onto the deck, no one helped, like at a concert where he would have setup crew. Zach Wamp began his speech by thanking Michael and Debbie for hosting, but before that Pastor Don Finto led a prayer. Zach referred to Michael and Deb as the REAL DEAL, and I could not say it better! He then talked about how Monday had been a bittersweet, because of the rally, but bitter, because that same day he attended the funeral of a fallen Chattanooga Solider Jonathan Hall. His family has been long time supporters of Zach Wamp’s. I’ll attempt to post this soon. He then talked about how the US is a democratic republic. How our forefathers had every intention of government having a limited role in over lives, and they would roll over in their graves, if they could see the level of control and abuse there is now. He talked about education and how important it is that real education begin at home, how early reading needs to begin in early childhood education, and that the must be invested as well as effort early, and the program he wishes to implement as TN Governor. He talked about how he has the clearest vision for TN, and reminded us that the Bible says without vision my people will perish. He talked about how if everyone told one person about the vision, and then that person told their friends, then it is possible to make this vision/mission a reality. He talked about making TN a healthy state, thus lowering health costs as so much of what we spend on healthcare is preventable, with healthy living and education. He was humble, sincere, passionate and seemed to have an idea of the difficulty that Then Smitty sang a new song called welcome Home in memory of Jonathan Hall. It was about the angels singing when someone enters heaven. Then I guess you would say Zach Wamp’s campaign person Mark talked Smitty into singing friends, and then future governor Wamp asked him to sing one more song, and he sang a new song in honor of his wife Debbie. After that Mark can’t remember issued a real plea for further support of Zach Wamp, and they officially concluded. People were everywhere. Debbie Smith was asked by my friend Debbie Hightower, if she would have her picture taken with me, with my friend Jerry’s camera, she agreed. I apologized, and explained what an inspiration she and her husband had been to me over the years. She seemed pleased. Oh I forgot earlier in the night, Zach Wamp’s Photographer took a photo of me with Bold and Beautiful star Bo Davidson. Later, my friends asked Michael if he would be willing to take a picture with me, and he did. He seemed more stressed than the times I have seen before, but he still glowed with love and compassion. I loved having the photo taken, but I felt different this time. I thought about how weary he must often feel being in the spotlight all the time. People always wanting a piece of him, and I thought God it is only because of you he has made it, and is still standing. I thought about how blessed I am to have amazing friends like Debbie and Jerry and others. I thought about how much I love my mom, and how much I hope she knows how much she means to me. How amazing she is. I am amazed she would take me, all the while knowing she had to work the next day. I became overwhelmed with the reality of this gift God gave me, not just the trip, or going to the Smith’s house, or meeting Zach Wamp, but the gift of his grace. I did nothing to deserve this trip, or the life I have, but God has granted me His favor. I did nothing to deserve Salvation, but he gave the gift, I’ve spent a lot of my life, trying to be worthy of God’s love and grace, trying to perform for people, and I guess that why I’m so drawn to Smitty. He too seemed to be in bondage, for years based on his testimony, and then he was hit in the face with reality that God is his Abba Father and he is loved and fully accepted. I pray someday that reality would be real to me He has something I long for. Yes, we are both believers, but he knows who he is, and he knows to whom he belongs! It has freed him. It has freed him to forget himself and love others. You would think after 20 years as a Christian, I would know the same, but it is struggle for me. I am learning growing in grace, but I still have a long way to go. I’m so thankful God hasn’t given up on me. Okay, back to the last 2 stories. Zach Wamp came by, and my friend Debbie asked, if I could have my picture taken with him. He eagerly agreed. I told him I was delighted to get a picture with my next governor! He smiled kissed me on the check, and thanks to my amazing devoted we made our way back in the dark through the shrubs down the ramp, on to the sidewalk down the driveway. Very SPEAICAL THANKS TO JERRY AND DEBBIE HIGHTOWER, I AM BEYOND BELESSED TO HAVE FRIENDS LIKE YOU WITH SUCH LOVE IN YOUR HEARTS! I LOVE YOU ALL. THANK YOU MOM! YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD! I WOULD STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO http://www.zachwamp.com/ Those of you who know me well, know I love politics, and that I vote not based on parties, but on overall package, and personal convictions. If you have questions about that you can contact me, I will be honest as I can I’m still learning. Voting is your choice, and I would never ask anyone to vote for someone without searching for yourself, as it is your personal a right and responsibility. It is yours and yours alone, and no should or can take away your voice, that is the gift we have in America! If you made it this far thanks you for reading this lengthy epic fairytale.

Jesus IS ALIVE, AND SO AM I

Yes, that is me with Karen Kingsbury, an unexpected gift from God I sure don't deserve! Please pray for Steven Curtis Chapman, this man is hurting a great deal as the anniversary of the death of his daughter draws nearer

Mom and I @ Women of Joy out at lunch...

Jenn and I @ Women of Joy

I will try to post some video at some point, but it was taking far too long too upload. Yes, Michael W. was there! I'm going to post some thoughts I began early, but could not post them when I was trying to upload the video earlier.

Thoughts I began earlier:

I know you guys must think I have forsaken the blogging world, but rest assured I have not. I spent time reflecting over Easter about how if there were no cross there would be no empty tomb, and if no empty tomb then, there would be no Savior, and if there is no Savior then I/we have no hope. No hope of forgiveness, No hope of Life here or in heaven! Without Jesus death and Resurrection there is no victory. There is truly no hope at all! This past weekend I went to the Women of Joy conference in Serveille TN with my mom mom and some wonderful friends and I would like to share some of the memories with you all through photos In the mean time, you should know I've found a new love. I have discovered Ephesians. Yes, for crying out I've read it before, but it is as though my eyes are seeing it for the first time! I would encourage you to slowly and prayerfully read it some time. In Chapter 1 it lets us know we are adopted by God through Jesus Christ, and the total motivation behind this adoption is God's love for us! The purpose of this adoption is to bring praise to God's glory, We can never add anything to, or take away from God's glory, His glory does not change, but We can bring him praise! I think it is coolest thing to know that We can give the God of the whole universe something, we can give God praise! Then in Eph. 1:7 we know that through the blood of Christ, we are forgiven, are being forgiven and will be forgiven! Then, if you flip over to Chapter 2, the heading is Made Alive in Christ! Let me stop here, and offer a disclaimer. I will not debate issues of predestination, I"m wresting with these matters myself, and likely will for the rest of my natural life, so I am not allowing myself to get bogged by this concept, to the point that I miss the reality hope and wonder of the gospel message! In Chapter 2, God through Paul, explains that we were dead in sin, but I'm so glad there is a but... God because of his great love and mercy for us made us Alive in Christ! I don't know about you sometimes I don't react as one who has been made alive, and yet God says because you are mine, you are alive! YOU ARE ALIVE, BECAUSE JESUS IS ALIVE! My friend Jenn has this phrase "I'm coming Alive" I don't think that means we are to be "up all the time" but from my limited knowledge, we can live more in the reality of Jesus is alive, and know that because He is alive, we too can forever live, not just in heaven, but even now!

In Honor of a special person in my life!

Happy Birthday Jenn! I am so glad God made you! I love you! I know today is your birthday in Nepal, and tomorrow in America. I hate I cannot talk to you. I consider myself blessed that someone as wonderful as you would call me a friend! I love you and consider it an honor to call you my friend. I love you!

Now, bloggers I want to encourage you that if you have a special friend like I do, never take it for granted! It is a gift from God! Above are pics from the last time she was home!

Everything stops for one!

Hi bloggers:

Hope this post finds you doing well, and that you haven't given up on me. I haven't talked to you guys much about my volunteering with Chattanooga's local pregnancy Center AAA Women's Services. http://www.aaawomen.org/ Last week was Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, or SOHLS, and so I was busy trying to get things done for Baby Bottle Blessings which is a campaign to raise money for local Pregnancy Centers through churches and other support. Our Mission, in obedience to Christ, is to provide Life Affirming Alternatives to unplanned pregnancies. If you would like to know more about AAA's Services just ask, or to find your local pregnancy Center, you can vist http://www.optionline.org/ I hope you will find out how you can help. Thank you! The Bible tells us that God knows us before we are even born. (See Jer. 1:5 Ps. 139-13-17 God knows the very number of hairs on each one of us. He took the time to make of us in the womb, to make us each special and one of a kind creation. He wanted each one of us, and his heart delights in each life personally. Is that as overwhelming for you, as it is for me?
Today I read Mark 10:46-52 http://www.bibleresources.org/ They came to Jericho. ) And as He was leaving Jericho with His disciples and a large crowd, Bartimaeus (the son of Timaeus), a blind beggar, was sitting by the road. ) 47 When he heard that it was Jesus the Nazarene, ) he began to cry out, "Son of David, ) Jesus, have mercy on me!" ) 48 Many people told him to keep quiet, but he was crying out all the more, "Have mercy on me, ) Son of David!"
49 Jesus stopped and said, "Call him."
So they called the blind man and said to him, "Have courage! Get up; He's calling for you." 50 He threw off his coat, () jumped up, and came to Jesus.
51 Then Jesus answered him, "What do you want Me to do for you?"
"Rabbouni," the blind man told Him, "I want to see!"
52 "Go your way," Jesus told him. "Your faith has healed you." Immediately he could see and began to follow Him on the road. It warms my heart to think of Jesus stopped and take time for this one man. He could have made excuses or given many justifiable reasons for passing this man by, but he did not. He stopped! In our culture, we don't stop much, Jesus was not doubt busy, but he was not too busy to invest in the life of one who requested his help. The man asked Jesus to have mercy him, and then he shared his heart's desire for that mercy, to be reflected in his having physical sight. Jesus honored the man's request, because he had enough faith to ask for Jesus for mercy, even when onlookers deemed him and his need as unimportant to Jesus. Our lives and our needs are important to Jesus. He will stop when others pass you by. When he stops on our behalf, our response ought to be following him wherever he leads. Jesus is not too busy to care about us! He is not too busy to care about you! Am I, are we too busy to stop and invest in the life of someone the way Jesus did? Are we too busy to follow Jesus?

I've really missed posting, and reading your blogs. I am thankful you are still faithful to read. Please pray for me, the Lord has directed me to lead Women's Day @ my church, on March 7th, but he hasn't given me his message to share yet. -T.J.

I love this one... Can you believe he can already roll over???

I think he has learned my "pouty Lip look I'm famous for!

Alex likes to play with his feet

Christmas with my good friend Michelle and my Buddy her4 month old son Alex(Munchkin) He kept giggling at me until we start taking pictures. His Mommy did his Nursery in gingerbread, so that is what I gave him for Christmas! Like my Butterfly christmas tree? Hope you enjoy the pics Jenn! Michelle and Alex send their love to you. Michelle is out of cell minutes, but she miss you and loves you!