I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!

When I began this blog I had 2 goals in mind...  1. To use and improve my writing skills.  2. This reason however is far more important, and is to honor and glorify Christ through the writing process.  You see I love writing devotionals/lessons I've learned through my own faith journey.  In the process though, I believe God has given me permission, and I've given myself permission to use my blog as outlet of personal expression.  While I hope personal expression will NEVER hinder the greater purpose of this blog, I am okay with it being a healthy hobby for me within the realm of boundaries.  I have hoped my life goes back to one thing when all is said and done, and that is to inspire and edify others.  This now brings me to the reason for my excitement!  Molly @ http://aforeignland.blogspot.com/ called http://www.writingforhisglory.blogspot.com/ a Blog with Substance, and I could not be more honored!  The fact is several years ago, I began this blog, and I guess to be honest forgot about it, and my password lol, but since I recovered the blog a couple of years ago, I've been writing on it regularly, I've now gained "followers"    Thank you Molly! 
This is a brand new blog I've been reading, and it  sure makes the mark. http://victoryinthevalley.blogspot.com/ Talk about real!
Also this blog is written by a really cool mature teenager!  Check it out and give her some encouragement! http://ateensdiary-victoria.blogspot.com/
Beth- is an amazingg woman of God, and full of sincere joy! http://aninstrument4hisglory.blogspot.com/
Dee- is a great woman with an interesting and artistic blog!  http://lookuptoday.blogspot.com/  Happy 4th you gals!

Letting Go and remembering who I AM!

As I sit here in my Newly made office trying to process the last few weeks.  It occurs to me it is nearly impossible to do without writing.  It is a challenge to know what and how much to share with you my bloggers.  After all most of you don't know me outside of blogland, and those who do, are either really close to me or only know bits and pieces of who I really am.  I have actually been "running" from my blog these past few weeks, because I have not really wanted to be a grown up.  I heard a christian radio program on Friday which said we can never be who God has called us to be, unless we are of all things willing to be transparent.
The truth is there are times I feel like I am just one giant stigma.  Here me out...  I'm not having a pity party here, at least I'm not attempting to.  My having CP brings a bit of a label all its own, and it is often hard  not to expand those labels and allow these labels to define who I am.  For example, there are things my physical limits prevent me from doing some things, like driving a car, dancing, walking, showering on my own)  I do bathe, you should know that lol.  What is hard about those limits isn't most often the physical challenges, isn't so much the limits themselves, but rather the emotional/spiritual side battle that rages within me.  Sometimes deep down I constantly battle trying to overcompensate for weakness.  For example, being dependent upon others at times makes  me feel incompetent as though I am inferior or lack good judgement.  I use to tell people, that my physical challenges didn't bother me, and ironically there was a time I believed that to be true.  I fight against shame.  I wonder sometimes isn't my fault?  I wonder sometimes why God would want me to be physically reliant on my family.  More than that though I wonder why in my 20's has the reality hit me all the sudden?  Why don't I deal with it, better?  I look at my mom and how she never seems sad over what she has had to deal with these past 2 years.  How she seems to just accept things as they are without even a tiny question lingering.  I am like Lord what's wrong with me?  I struggle to know what adulthood is suppose to like as physically challenged person.  How much is expected of me?  How much can I control?  What and how much should I expect of myself?  My doctor does believe I had a partial seizure a few weeks ago.  It sounds crazy, but part of me is glad, it was something out of my control.  I can't blame myself for this one.  I can blame myself for panic attacks or depressed moods, and to a degree I can even blame myself for failing to rise above CP, but I cannot possibly blame myself for a seizure.  The truth is though, God says None of these condemning words to me.  He does not evaluate me this way.  He says: You are mine. Romans 10:9,  You are qualified. Phil 4:13 You are my Masterpiece, Eph. 210 You are loved!  Eph. 1:3, You are free.  Gal. 5:1, You are victorious! Romans 8.  You are forgiven 1 John 1:9 These are only a taste of who I am because of Christ.  So as I was so sick the other night with a severe migraine and struggling with my new chair, God was not placing a damaged sign on me.  He was not declaring me useless, or weak.  He was bringing me to the place of letting go again.  Letting go of the shame, the self hate, the pride, the reminders of the sins of my past.  This is a struggle I have battled for so long, and will likely battle again, but my prayer is that my struggle will not be wasted, and in the final outcome by God's grace God will use my brokenness to draw others  to himself.  So tonight I lay my emotionally messed up self, my spiritually insufficient self and my physically challenged self upon the altar of the living God and plead for mercy.  Remembering that I'm yours.  Remembering what you did for me, and still do for me.  I remember it is not me, that has strength, but You in me!  In this moment I can sing!  My Chains are Gone!  We were never meant to operate in our flesh as Christians, and to be honest, in the last few weeks this what I've done.   The world will never see Jesus in me, until I'm out of the way, and I'll never be out of the way, as long as I'm wearing my mask, and relying on my flesh.

Desiring the Higher Things,

I'll B back!

Hi,

Sorry It has been so long...   Thank you so much for your prayers for mom!  The doctors believe her reports will come back cancer free, God is amazing!  He is so faithful! 
I admit to you that even though I am beyond greatful, I admit I am going through a rough patch and it is taking it's taking it's toll.  Unless things improve I will probably leave the blogging world for a little bit until I get myself on track.  I apreacite you all and I look forward to blogging with you again soon.  I will post any updates on Mom as I get them, but other than I'm in a bit of a "silent" season.  Don't give up on me I will be back.

Half Full Friday June 11, 2010

Half full Friday Orignated from Eyegirl @ http://www.lifeaseyeseeit.com/2010/06/half-full-friday-6111http://www.lifeaseyeseeit.com/2010/06/half-full-friday-61110.html
I am Joyful because thanks to Sharon White I have a year's membership to:One of my heroes!
I am joyful that I am contiuing my collection of BH 90210 SEASONS!
I am Joyful that my friend loaned my the book Fearless,    and I'm reading it at just the right time
I am joyful because we have a couple days before my mom's biopsy.
I am joy filled to have time alone, because I need it...
I am joy filled because I'm hanging out with my best friend tonight!

Mom's Health Update/June 8th... Here we go again...But I will Praise YOU!

Note from T.J. This is my mom's health update, not the ideal we hoped for, but we praise the Lord at all times....   Thank you for your prayers we need them!  I know it could be far worse, but I am disappointed. T.J.

In March I told you that I would have a follow up PET Scan within three months. Last Tue. (6-1-10) I had the PET Scan and I have been in waiting for the past 6 days for the results! The results were not what I had hoped for, but God knows what he is doing and so I will just continue to allow him to work through and within me to accomplish what he has planned. I still have a spot in the anal area and it has gotten bigger than it was three months ago. Dr. Lorenzo plans to put me to sleep on Monday (6-14-10) and make some deep cuts for some biopsies to see if there is cancer back in that area. I will not know the results of those biopsies for at least 5 days! Now the good news is that I will have time to read those 5 books on my bed side table that I have not had time to read in the past 6 months. Ha! The bad news is that if it is cancer then we will be looking at surgery again to remove the cancer. My hope is that it is not cancer, but looking at the past two summers it is a little hard to get my hopes too high on being in remission.




The PET Scan also shows a highlighted area in the jaw area again. This maybe nothing and it could be that the lymph nodes in that area are enlarged. Time will tell on this one! It is the same as last time so it is not bigger! I am suppose to see Dr. Johnson on Thurs. (6-17-10) and get his intake on all of this so I will have blood work and everything done at that time to see if it tells us anything also.



On June 2, 2008 I was diagnosed with cancer. It has been a very long road, but God has been with me all the way and I will continue to trust him to guide me. Psalm: 91:1-2 “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “HE is my refuge and my fortress,” My God in whom I trust.” I again will ask for your prayers in the coming days as we go through the testing and the future of battling the beast I call “CANCER”! It seems too rare its ugly head up when you least expect it! God always places people and things in your life just when you need them. I had just begun to read a book called, “Count it All Joy” by Don Maiden, and it has already blessed me and helped me to remember that I will still continue to praise God in good and bad times. Love, Madeline Ellis

A Sense of Urgency! Prayer Part I...

One thing I look forward to when I get to heaven is the ability to be able to kneel before the Lord. Right now my knees are fixed in one position and it is impossible for my knees to be otherwise, not only that, but numerous bones in my legs and feet would break if attempted, I don't say that as way of getting sympathy, I'm just stating it for the state of fact, After my last post, I was in hopes that I could post something of a little lighter topic for your reading, and there will come times where that is the case, but the truth my is I started this blog, as a written express of my journey in Christ, and hoped it would inspire others too. Tonight I want to tell you about one of the greatest joys in my life! Drum roll.... PRAYER.... CAN I MAKE A HUMBLE AND RATHER GUT WRENCHING CONFESSION TO YOU? I HAVE A LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE ACTIVITY OF PRAYER. I am sure those words are borderline blasphemy at the very least. Sure people call me prayer warrior or partner frequently, and as almost nothing gives me greater joy than relational fellowship with God and interceding on behalf of others.  Thank you to those of you who lift me and my family in prayer.  I was encouraged that when I posted of my scary episode on June 2nd, many of you said you would pray for me, and I know many of you did.  I will be visiting the doctor in the next few weeks, but that is not what I want to tell you.  I Love to pray for people, and it is not because I'm spiritual it's because I'm desperate.  I'm desperate because I know apart from God intervening we/I have no hope to win....  Sometimes though the last thing I want to do is pray, because even after the amazing wonders I've seen, prayer while it isn't hard, but it does take effort and commitment.  Whether I remember it or not, THE BATTLE IS NOT MINE IT IS THE LORD'S!  THE MORE I DEPEND ON CHRIST, THE MORE SECURE I AM.  
TONIGHT I HAVE SUCH A SENSE OF URGENCY TO PRAY FOR MANY TONIGHT WHO NEED HOPE HEALING AND COMFORT.  SOME ARE PEOPLE WHO READ THIS BLOG, AND TONIGHT I REMIND MYSELF AND EACH OF YOU THAT THE BATTLE YOU FACE CAN BE BROUGHT TO OUR LOVING AND CARING GOD!   PRAYING WITH A HEAVY HEART!
1. http://aninstrument4hisglory.blogspot.com/ Beth Praying for you!
2. My Mom's PET' SCAN.
3. MY FRIEND SANDRA WHOSE FATHER IS SERIOUSLY ILL. 
4.  Oil Spill
5. Those with terminal cancer
6. Failing marriages
7. Solders and missionaries

These are only a few of the things on my heart tonight that I am entrusting to God in prayer!
Desiring the Higher Things,

Can you Handle the truth??? No more secret!

Image from http://www.cameronmagee.blogspot.com/ Property of Travis Conttrell. Jesus Saves Live CD.

A friend of mine purchased this CD for me for my birthday, and to be honest, while I did expect to like it, I had no idea how much I'd love it! Let me preface this by saying I'm not a fan of all styles of worship music. I think it is great that there are all flavors of praise music that draw people to faith in Christ, but that does not mean that I connect with all of these, or prefer them. Of course, I love anything http://www.michaelwsmith.com/ , but I'm not typically a fan of groups like passion, it's nothing personal. The CD above has made me ears happy, and lifts my soul upward. My favorite tracks include: Cindy Morgan's Praise the King, I Am Persuaded, Jesus is THE LORD, The hymn Victory In Jesus. Travis Cottrell is talented. and his music on this CD is passionate yet soothing. http://www.travisconttrell.com/ This is in fact one of my favorite things.

Now I'm switching gears here, and I'm about to put myself out there in a way that I have not previously done. Yesterday I had a scary episode. I was talking on the phone actually praying over the phone for a friend, when all the muscles in my body began to stiffen and become tight, and the next thing I knew my throat became tight, and I found myself barely able to speak, and more and more gasping for breath, know what you are thinking, Panic Attack right??? I'm telling you I've had those, and this isn't that. I was not upset or anything, I didn't have tingling in my body which I have with Panic attacks, and I had no other symptoms No racing thoughts... It has happened twice before, one when I was laughing hard and once when I was at a friend's house, again no stressful triggers I'm pretty sure it is something to do with CP, but it has happened so rarely, I have no clue what to make of it. I'm just so glad a friend saw it happen, or I would be afraid I'm going crazy. It has shaken me up ever since, after I prayed about it today, and felt better, but I can't seem to stop thinking about it.

Last week a volunteer at Choices asked me how I came to know the Lord, it was kind of random and caught me off guard. She is someone I greatly admire and respect, and she said that it occurred to her she had never asked me, and thought it might be from the Lord. She asked me if I minded sharing, and what was I going to see um no I refuse to share I came to know Jesus? It was a very public exchange, one I admit I was unprepared for. The truth is that this person had no way of knowing that it has taken me years to finally "nail down my Salvation, and there are times when the old doubts creep in. Let me stop right here, and let you know that if I died tonight, I know I belong to Jesus, and that I know He is preparing a place for me in heaven. I sat with a counselor one day in 2003, and, told her the story, which I've never told publicly until now. When I was 7 years old I remember bits and pieces of the gospel being shared at backyard bible school hosted by my church. I remember being upset afterward and one of the ministers at the time asking if I wanted to receive Jesus, I remember even at that young age, saying I'm not sure, I don't want my mom to be mad at me, why I would say that I don't know, or why I would think that I have not a clue. He asked if I wanted him to talk to her, and I said yes. That same night I remember my grandmother asking if he prayed with me, I can't recall what I told her, but mom always told my grandmother led me to the Lord, but the thing is I don't ever recall that, and I've never found the courage to ask her. I'm sure I probably did receive Jesus then, because I know the minsters at our church would have never allowed me to baptized otherwise, but still I found myself tormented by doubts that is until I was 13, and decided that I could not live one more day without being able to sing blessed assurance Jesus is mine, so alone in my room, I prayed something like this. Jesus I'm just not sure if I was ever saved at 7, I don't know what happened then, but I know that I'm a sinner, and that Jesus died for me, and I am asking and trusting you to forgive me, and I want my life to be fully yours. I would not trade anything that happened, because my doubts drove me to seek the Lord, and dig into his word to find him for myself. It was at that point my faith became my own. I never asked to be re baptized, because, I knew physically with my limitations and surgeries I could never do it. I didn't tell my family until a few years ago. My counselor assured me that what was important is not when I was saved, but that I AM SAVED. I have so many testimonies of God's grace and work in my life, and love to of God's grace in my life, but no part of my testimony is more difficult for me to share than that of my initial conversion. For most people there is a bee fore Christ and an after Christ, and I do know that when I was 13 I truly began abiding in Christ. I'm glad this fellow volunteer asked me even though it did cause some of my questions to rise to the surface again. I know how to share the Gospel, and have done so in large groups, but am totally scared to do so one on one, which is I have been reluctant to do in room advocacy at Choices, because I know there are times when sharing the Gospel is something I need to do. I am called to give reason for the hope I have, and I hope my life as my words have done that. Part of the reason, I have struggled with my identity in Christ is because of issues with eternal security. The truth is, this is one of a number of reasons this has been a struggle for me, but tonight I'm sharing this portion of testimony with you. God has seen me through so many things this is only the beginning, but tonight as a reminder to myself, and a testimony to you, I declare that with all my mistakes I belong to Jesus! When I shared on Thurs my conversion testimony was a minute and a half, but as you can see this has taken much longer, and my testimony is ongoing! Finally Jesus never meant for us to live in a state of long term doubt about salvation, so for others who may be prone to such doubts, I encourage you you to claim the promises of assurance in the bible, and do whatever it takes to nail down the matter in your heart.

Desiring the Higher things....

Thank you to those who serve

IMAGE FROM WWW.SIGNSTOR.COM

did not write this but it sincerely conveys my heart for our millitary! It was written by Jamie @ TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS WHICH is a non profit. You can look them up on Facebook or Twitter. Hope you all have a nice Memorial Day, may we make a greater effort to REMEMBER!

Please remember the ones who can't forget, the soldiers forever trying to get home, trying to let go, to be okay...

To soldiers and to the friends and family of soldiers, we pause to acknowledge you today, to say that you matter. The things you've seen, the things you've lost, the battles that you fight, the dreams that steal your sleep - may we never call them small.

And we apologize today, for the ways that we forget, for the ways that we are selfish, for our lack of understanding. Perhaps the ones who've never been there, we can't begin to comprehend words like "war" and "fight" and "home." We don't know what they weigh and what they cost.

To the ones who fought for peace and freedom, we pray those things for you. We pray rest and hope and healing, and innocence again. We pray for people who will listen and the strength in you to speak. May other people know you, walk with you in the questions and recovery. May you get the help you need, the help that you deserve.

Today, we say that we see you, and not only as a soldier but also as a person. Someone not unlike us. You are significant. You are not forgotten.

Finally, humbly, thank you.

Peace to you today.
Jamie

Half Full Friday May 28

Started by www.Lifeaseyeseeit.com AKA EYEGIRL.
I am JOY FILLED because I've had a good week!
I am JOY FILLED because this week, I've been content
I Am Joy Filled because I got three unexpected gifts.
I am Joy Filled because I have rediscovered the joy of laughter!
I am Joy Filled, because my brother and I spoke today.
I am Joy Filled that on Tuesday I got a hug from my 4 year old cousin Jocelyn
I AM JOY FILLED BECAUSE Molly and I @ www.aforeignland.blogspot.com had lunch today after months of trying lol.

To Love, not To Change

Image is from http://www.sodahead.com/

Before I post this you may find yourself asking haven't you written on this topic before. Yep I have.... Probably more than once... I think this will be a bit of a different angle than before. I realized today that I don't have the power to change people, in fact, I don't even have the power to change myself. I realized today that I am quick to determine how I wish others would change, instead of just asking God to help me love them just the way they are. Sure I want others to love me despite my imperfections,but how willing am I to love others despite theirs. A trait that bugs me in others is impatience. I guess because I learned early in life that you cannot have everything you want in life how or when you want it, I just expect that this is also a no brainier for others too. I am use to waiting on public transport. I'm use to having to wait on someone to bathe me or feed me or fix me a drink. I'm probably one of the last people to complain about a waiter taking too long, I guess that is because it bothers me when people become upset with me for taking longer to do a task, and then I become upset with myself. My point is I need to better about loving others who are different than me. I need to be better about loving people who say whatever comes into their minds. I need to love and appreciate people who are reserved, instead of asking them to be someone other than who God made them to be. I'm glad that there are people who are different than me, because I am sometimes not assertive enough to get the job done. I am often defensive when it comes to criticism. I tend to deal with most situations relationally instead of concretely, which causes problems with people who are the polar opposite of me. I sometimes find it hard to love people who are very outspoken.
Sometimes people, need to change, sometimes I need to change, but we need God to teach us to love others for who they are, and leave the changing up to him, and the Holy Spirit. I am less paieint with peoples reactions than I'm with situations. That's what I sense the Lord telling me today. Stop trying to change ____ just love _ right where they are, the same way I have loved you! I'm thankful God is showing me that He does love me where I am, and that He can empower me to love others his way!
Desiring the higher things,
Oh please keep my mom in your prayers for a clear PET Scan on June 1st. Thanks so much!

Half Full Friday!

I believe that a lot of my happiness is determined by my attitude about the things that happen to me. So, I am deciding to see the glass as half full, instead of half empty. I am choosing to concentrate on the positives, instead of dwelling on the negatives. My Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that. They are a list of the things in my life that have brought me happiness over the past week.
"Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day." ~ Author Unknown
I'm determined to find the something good in every day. Thank you WWW.lifeaseyeseeit.com

Are you?
For the next week, I challenge you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness note I use the term joy filled instead of happiness just a personal pref. each day. On Friday, write your own Half Full Friday post and return to Life As Eye See It to link your post and to see what other bloggers found happiness in during the past week.

Don't forget to grab a Half Full Friday Banner or Button for your blog post if you are going to join in:

I am joy filled because…

I felt better on Monday than I did on Sunday, and got to enjoy a Mexican dinner

I enjoyed the "Good Wife!

I am having lunch with Molly next week.

I got a call from my best friend last night, and lovely dinner with my mom.

I got a hug!

I have learned to face some types of conflict, instead of running from it.

I got a free lunch yesterday.

I am off antibiotics.

Ladies Only! Men Beware!

Hello!

Well what a wild thing life is... I just need to have some girl talk with my female blogger. Sunday morning I woke up a true hormonal mess! By Sunday night I could not sleep, total mind racing episode tears, you name it I had it! Cold sweats and all . Some women have idea what I'm talking about, but I hope someone out there knows. Later in the week, a former caregiver, all but chewed me out on Facebook publicly. All this happened this week already, and there has been a RARE church conflict on Facebook. But there is a bright side always! God is not just not just in the big stuff, He is in the "small stuff too. I'm glad that unlike people God is so slow to anger, and abounding in real love! Romans 8:38-39 Check it out! I'm excited about my new blog followers. Don't let this post scare you off!

T.J.'sTV Plug

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/the_good_wife/video/?pid=bRSypLw_jhqbGlnsZVqJVUcrjCpdgAKv&nrd=1

I cannot help it I love this show.... It is the only show watch regular during the week I watch during the week, either On Demand. Totally worth an hour! Check it out!

You Gotta Deal with it!

Image from Google images... http://www.afrogeekchic.wordpress.com













Whether we Christians like to admit it or not, there is a level of truth to the above phrase. Please hear me- I will be the first to admit that THERE IS EVIL in the world, and the sources of that evil are the three S''s Sin, Satan and Self. I might even be inclined to change the above phrase to read, "The path to evil often begins with apathy. Don't believe me? Let that sink in for a minute. I bet more people become atheists through apathy than most any other reason. It is eaier, in some ways to believe in nothing, than it is to believe in an ALL POWERFUL GOD, because one calls you to invest nothing, while the other calls you to invest everything! Sure maybe it happens for other reasons, but it does not happen without Apathy. You suffer, you become hurt or mad, before you know it that hurt, becomes apathy, and finally that apathy becomes deeply rooted bitterness unless it dealt with. It was not just evil that led to the Holocaust it was the belief that nothing could be done so why try or the "that's their problem, not mine" motto. What does Apathy look like? It depends on the person. For you apathy maybe cutting in line at the grocery, or knowing you should apologize, but not caring enough to say it.
I'll confess where it has shown up inside me lately. One Idolatry, and second prayerlessness. What I just put out there ,for all the world to see isn't just embarrassing, it is dangerous, because of the gifts God has entrusted to me. People would likely not be surprised by the idols of my own soul, at least I don't think they would, but one thing a prayer warrior is never expected to battle is the temptation of prayerlessness. I'm not saying that all these years I've faked a calling or commitment to prayer, it isn't in me to do that, I fear the Lord far too much to be willfully phony in that way, in seasons past, I've been called to spend both short and long periods of time earnestly pleading with God on behalf of others. I say this not with a boastful motive, but rather to provide evidence of my apathy in recent "Seasons" Last summer my mom's cancer returned, when I sure it was a permanent healing from God. Six months later, it returned as you know, what you may not know, is that my faith isn't apparently as strong as I thought it was, and since then I have been baffled with questions in my heart and mind, as to why it returned again. She is currently in remission, and yes I do give God all credit and honor for that. It has brought all sorts of questions about intercessory prayer I've never faced before like can we mere humans influence God through prayer? The answer to that question is one that makes my brain and my heart, hurt and still I have seen God perform wonders, and I know those wonders have come about through this amazing thing I've loved for so long called prayer. Jesus made prayer possible, so I must trust even when I don't understand it So to bring this back around, the Bible uses another word for apathy. It is Lukewarm. So I must be willing to not settle for apathy, but rather Christ Centered Excellency! These two issues have also began to effect my eagerness in writing prayer letters for CHOICES. I didn't even realize it until the Lord and I untangled the matter this morning. So take it from me, if there is any matter of apathy in your walk with God, don't let it sit there, face it, even if it takes days, or weeks, or months, to get back on the path again. Make the effort, whatever it takes because apathy, is no place for one of God's Children! Rev.3:16 "So, because you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am about to spit you out of my mouth."
Desiring the higher things...

That's MY MOM!

No, you are not imagining things, you have seen this pic before! It was from my Women of Joy post! It was the only recent picture of mom I could find to post. Happy Mother's day to all you mom's out there! Let me tell you a little about one of my favorite people. My mom! My mom and I have and are sharing an amazing journey called life. She is a woman of amazing strength. She is an amazing artist, A hard worker, a passionate teacher, A woman who is tough as nails, dependable, the life of any party. She lives her life by the motto "ACTIONS speaks LOUDER THAN WORDS. SHE IS GIVING. She will offer her time and talents to whoever needs them. She can find joy in almost anything. She rarely complains, but isn't fake, and does not sugar coat things. Her humor is totally contagious. She could dwell on how her life has difficult, but instead she lives life in the moment without excuses. She has a real desire to bless others, but is humble, never comfortable being the center of attention, unless it is for the sake of honoring another person. She is not afraid of looking stupid, as long it brings a smile. She loves crafts and secret projects. She loves to give people surprise gifts. She would do almost anything to show her children she loves them and has done so over and over! Some people might have allowed the challenges of single parenting cause them become to become bitter or self centered, but she never has. Through the last few years her faith in the Lord has grown and blossomed. There has never been a mother with more sacrificial love in her heart than mine. She is silly and fun! She has been a girl scout leader to physically challenged girls, hosted sleepovers, camp outs, pulled all nighters for school projects, attended numerous little league world series, games, given money when she didn't have much to spare. Sat in the rain to attend a concert that she had no desire to attend. She has traveled to a political rally for her daughter, sake when she had plenty of reasons not to. The list could go on forever, from being a prom driver to a 24 hour nurse. All of these things are only the beginning of why I am choosing to celebrate my mom today. "I thank my God as I think of her." Paraphrase of Phil. 1:3. If you mom is alive, and has blessed you in any way way at all, no matter how imperfect she might be celebrate her. If you have lost your mom, or do not have one who is involved in your life or who has treated you badly. I am so sorry, and I offer you heartfelt hugs and a prayer of comfort!.

Michael W. Smith Introduces Zach Wamp

This post is long overdue! I attended this event @ the Smith home and wanted to share this with you! I do not vote for just one part all the time, but if you live in TN, I would like to encourage you to make an imformed voting choice no matter who you choose. In fact, I would encourage anyone in Any state to make an informed choice!

Roll 4 Life 2010 Pics!

I was going to put my 1 one year old cousin Jack's pics on here, but mom deleted them, by mistake.... I have raised 750$ dollars so far thanks to some very generous people!

I took this pic! Can you tell? lol!

I don't like this pic, but it is the only one I had of me, by myself!

2010 Walk for Life! Go to http://www.choicesprcnow.org/ for more! Fundraiser for Choices PRC formely AAA Women Services.

GIFT OF GRACE! WHAT A WEEK!

Future TN Govenor/current TN CONGRESSMEN, ZACH WAMP!!!

Bo Davidson Actor on Bold & Beautiful/singer

Debbie Smith.... Wonderful lady.

Smitty and me!

I will explain how all this happened at some point, but for now I hope you enjoy what I wrote about my Cinderalla trip.

Some of you have kindly inquired about my trip to the Franklin TN for the Zach Wamp fundraiser at the home of Michael W. Smith and his wife Debbie. I still can't really believe it. I feel like it was a dream, but it wasn't it was real. We got there very early because we were not sure how to get my chair in. The gate opened right up. No pass code or anything. They live on a massive hill, a friend of theirs came to the van to say hello. Their 2 dogs’ one a beagle and another golden came to meet us. Copper and Kail. They also have a cat, but I didn't see her. We went up the big hill and through the bushes onto the side walk using ramps. We were not sure which entrance to take. Because there was a giant serving table in the path of one of the entrances. We waited not sure what to do, and I noticed a young girl who I still believe is Michael's youngest daughter Anna trying to get one of their dog's on a leash, but I didn't have the courage to ask her. A few minutes later an older man came over to us, and showed us a more level entrance. I had a hunch he was there Pastor because I had seen photos of him, but again I didn’t dare ask. We thanked him very much! We still weren’t sure if it was too early to go in, so we hesitated. Suddenly I noticed a figure at the door and I was sure my eyes were playing tricks on me. No, there he was dressed in a suit which I personally believe is out of his comfort. He came to the door, and said hey so glad you came, did you have any trouble getting in here? I flashed the best smile I could trying not to seem too eager He took my hand and said great to see you come on in! We went into the living room, and I knew his wife Debbie as soon as I saw. I thanked her for having us, and asked her it was okay if I hugged her, I know bold move, but I was overcome with respect for her. Some time later Kim Wamp came over to my friend Jerry, and he introduced us. She was polite and classy. CONGRESSMEN soon to be Governor Wamp soon followed. He was kind, and not at all stand offish. Jerry told him I volunteered with Choices and his face lit up, and he said something like that is wonderful, We Tennesseans are proud to defend the cause of all live aren’t we? The next thing I know he gave me a kiss on the forehand and check, I watched as some people got their fundraiser photos with Zach and Smitty next to the fireplace. I was not envious, at all, I was loving watching them move, and imagining what they said, and noticing little details about the house to be continued soon! In Part 2!
Zach Wamp Fundraiser Part 2…. . Also sorry so long! We didn’t eat anything at Smitty’s house. It wasn’t for lack of food. There was plenty of it! I was surprised by how calm I was. Remember I told you earlier that an older man showed us how to enter into the house, and how I said I thought He was their Pastor? He later introduced himself Don Finto I never mentioned that I knew he was their Pastor, but I told my friends Debbie and Jerry later. We met Harold and Lil Coker of Coker tires. I was thirsty, so mom got me a bottle of water. I guess I was expecting disani, and figured if I am a water snob they would be too. I guess not, since it was aquafina. Let me just tell you Zach Wamp’s son Weston is at least 4 years younger than me, but If I he didn’t have a lovely girlfriend I would so chase him down! Later, they asked everyone to move outside on the deck for the speech and performance. I got pretty close, and we waited and watch as people mingled a little more. I noticed that Michael seemed to move quickly as if he were almost running or pacing. I love there deck, I think from what I saw it was my favorite. There were photos of their family in every single room in every corner I saw. Smitty brought his Keyboard onto the deck, no one helped, like at a concert where he would have setup crew. Zach Wamp began his speech by thanking Michael and Debbie for hosting, but before that Pastor Don Finto led a prayer. Zach referred to Michael and Deb as the REAL DEAL, and I could not say it better! He then talked about how Monday had been a bittersweet, because of the rally, but bitter, because that same day he attended the funeral of a fallen Chattanooga Solider Jonathan Hall. His family has been long time supporters of Zach Wamp’s. I’ll attempt to post this soon. He then talked about how the US is a democratic republic. How our forefathers had every intention of government having a limited role in over lives, and they would roll over in their graves, if they could see the level of control and abuse there is now. He talked about education and how important it is that real education begin at home, how early reading needs to begin in early childhood education, and that the must be invested as well as effort early, and the program he wishes to implement as TN Governor. He talked about how he has the clearest vision for TN, and reminded us that the Bible says without vision my people will perish. He talked about how if everyone told one person about the vision, and then that person told their friends, then it is possible to make this vision/mission a reality. He talked about making TN a healthy state, thus lowering health costs as so much of what we spend on healthcare is preventable, with healthy living and education. He was humble, sincere, passionate and seemed to have an idea of the difficulty that Then Smitty sang a new song called welcome Home in memory of Jonathan Hall. It was about the angels singing when someone enters heaven. Then I guess you would say Zach Wamp’s campaign person Mark talked Smitty into singing friends, and then future governor Wamp asked him to sing one more song, and he sang a new song in honor of his wife Debbie. After that Mark can’t remember issued a real plea for further support of Zach Wamp, and they officially concluded. People were everywhere. Debbie Smith was asked by my friend Debbie Hightower, if she would have her picture taken with me, with my friend Jerry’s camera, she agreed. I apologized, and explained what an inspiration she and her husband had been to me over the years. She seemed pleased. Oh I forgot earlier in the night, Zach Wamp’s Photographer took a photo of me with Bold and Beautiful star Bo Davidson. Later, my friends asked Michael if he would be willing to take a picture with me, and he did. He seemed more stressed than the times I have seen before, but he still glowed with love and compassion. I loved having the photo taken, but I felt different this time. I thought about how weary he must often feel being in the spotlight all the time. People always wanting a piece of him, and I thought God it is only because of you he has made it, and is still standing. I thought about how blessed I am to have amazing friends like Debbie and Jerry and others. I thought about how much I love my mom, and how much I hope she knows how much she means to me. How amazing she is. I am amazed she would take me, all the while knowing she had to work the next day. I became overwhelmed with the reality of this gift God gave me, not just the trip, or going to the Smith’s house, or meeting Zach Wamp, but the gift of his grace. I did nothing to deserve this trip, or the life I have, but God has granted me His favor. I did nothing to deserve Salvation, but he gave the gift, I’ve spent a lot of my life, trying to be worthy of God’s love and grace, trying to perform for people, and I guess that why I’m so drawn to Smitty. He too seemed to be in bondage, for years based on his testimony, and then he was hit in the face with reality that God is his Abba Father and he is loved and fully accepted. I pray someday that reality would be real to me He has something I long for. Yes, we are both believers, but he knows who he is, and he knows to whom he belongs! It has freed him. It has freed him to forget himself and love others. You would think after 20 years as a Christian, I would know the same, but it is struggle for me. I am learning growing in grace, but I still have a long way to go. I’m so thankful God hasn’t given up on me. Okay, back to the last 2 stories. Zach Wamp came by, and my friend Debbie asked, if I could have my picture taken with him. He eagerly agreed. I told him I was delighted to get a picture with my next governor! He smiled kissed me on the check, and thanks to my amazing devoted we made our way back in the dark through the shrubs down the ramp, on to the sidewalk down the driveway. Very SPEAICAL THANKS TO JERRY AND DEBBIE HIGHTOWER, I AM BEYOND BELESSED TO HAVE FRIENDS LIKE YOU WITH SUCH LOVE IN YOUR HEARTS! I LOVE YOU ALL. THANK YOU MOM! YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD! I WOULD STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO http://www.zachwamp.com/ Those of you who know me well, know I love politics, and that I vote not based on parties, but on overall package, and personal convictions. If you have questions about that you can contact me, I will be honest as I can I’m still learning. Voting is your choice, and I would never ask anyone to vote for someone without searching for yourself, as it is your personal a right and responsibility. It is yours and yours alone, and no should or can take away your voice, that is the gift we have in America! If you made it this far thanks you for reading this lengthy epic fairytale.

Playing Dress Up!

Cousin Brady's 4th birthday Party! Pirate/Princess theme!

My dress was my high school prom dress 9 years ago. I will be out of town tomorrow, but will have very exciting news to share with you as soon as I get back! I can hardly wait to post for you!

Jesus IS ALIVE, AND SO AM I

Yes, that is me with Karen Kingsbury, an unexpected gift from God I sure don't deserve! Please pray for Steven Curtis Chapman, this man is hurting a great deal as the anniversary of the death of his daughter draws nearer

Mom and I @ Women of Joy out at lunch...

Jenn and I @ Women of Joy

I will try to post some video at some point, but it was taking far too long too upload. Yes, Michael W. was there! I'm going to post some thoughts I began early, but could not post them when I was trying to upload the video earlier.

Thoughts I began earlier:

I know you guys must think I have forsaken the blogging world, but rest assured I have not. I spent time reflecting over Easter about how if there were no cross there would be no empty tomb, and if no empty tomb then, there would be no Savior, and if there is no Savior then I/we have no hope. No hope of forgiveness, No hope of Life here or in heaven! Without Jesus death and Resurrection there is no victory. There is truly no hope at all! This past weekend I went to the Women of Joy conference in Serveille TN with my mom mom and some wonderful friends and I would like to share some of the memories with you all through photos In the mean time, you should know I've found a new love. I have discovered Ephesians. Yes, for crying out I've read it before, but it is as though my eyes are seeing it for the first time! I would encourage you to slowly and prayerfully read it some time. In Chapter 1 it lets us know we are adopted by God through Jesus Christ, and the total motivation behind this adoption is God's love for us! The purpose of this adoption is to bring praise to God's glory, We can never add anything to, or take away from God's glory, His glory does not change, but We can bring him praise! I think it is coolest thing to know that We can give the God of the whole universe something, we can give God praise! Then in Eph. 1:7 we know that through the blood of Christ, we are forgiven, are being forgiven and will be forgiven! Then, if you flip over to Chapter 2, the heading is Made Alive in Christ! Let me stop here, and offer a disclaimer. I will not debate issues of predestination, I"m wresting with these matters myself, and likely will for the rest of my natural life, so I am not allowing myself to get bogged by this concept, to the point that I miss the reality hope and wonder of the gospel message! In Chapter 2, God through Paul, explains that we were dead in sin, but I'm so glad there is a but... God because of his great love and mercy for us made us Alive in Christ! I don't know about you sometimes I don't react as one who has been made alive, and yet God says because you are mine, you are alive! YOU ARE ALIVE, BECAUSE JESUS IS ALIVE! My friend Jenn has this phrase "I'm coming Alive" I don't think that means we are to be "up all the time" but from my limited knowledge, we can live more in the reality of Jesus is alive, and know that because He is alive, we too can forever live, not just in heaven, but even now!

Easter Picture Story 2010- Spiritual reflections soon!

  First pic of all three of us in about 3 years!  Justin got hit with a softball yesterday, so that is the bump on his forehead.Cousin Brady 3Jocelyn 4My Aunt always sets the table so beautifully! Brady & Jackson-Brothers 3 years and 1 years

                                                     Adult Easter Hunt for couples.

Loved Her Still By T.J. Ellis

What happened to that girl?

That girl who thought she could change the world

That girl who believed nothing was out of reach

That girl who saw the best in the worst

I wish I knew where she was

Where are the fire in her eyes and the song in her heart?

Where is that girl who believed?

Where did her passion go was it swallowed in apathy?

That girl must have lost her way.

That girl pretended that all was just as it had always been.

The change was not instant it happened over time

Nothing would ever be the same again

She could not go back and undo what she did.

Her mind never let her forget.

She lived in a world of silent flashbacks.

If they knew her thoughts, they would disown her for sure

After all she wasn't pure.

They did not see the layers of anger and shame.

They thought she was smart, but she knew the truth.

She was not smart, but what she lacked in intelligence, she replaced with effort

One day she came off the pedestal, and fell to her knees.

It was there lonely and broken she found her King

She could hardly breathe.

She expected to be cast out of His sight.

She had failed her task

Instead He stood before her with love in His eyes.

His Arms open wide.

All her life she had wanted a love like this

No matter how stupid she thought she was, or how inferior she felt.

He loved her still!

 

Can You Count?

Hi,

First, thank you Beth & Dee for your compassionate responses. The Lord knows his plans for me, and He is worthy of my trust and praises!
The Lord is never late... I am counting a few of my TONS of blessings today! Want to come along?
1. God has healed my mom numerous times and provided for me!
2. I was able to sit in the sun today.
3. The Lord uses music to make me smile!
4. People pray for me often.
5.I have the most loyal friends.
6. I have a bed, and clean drinking water.
7. The Lord forgives me constantly.
8. I have a van with a lift
9. The Lord is teaching me new things
10. I have a nice morning caregiveer.
11 Macy is staying here, even though my brother is moving out.
12 Today is a pain free illness free day!
13. The weekend is here.
14. I am loved.
15. Crossing paths with old friends.
16 Fun time
17. Victory is mine.
18. Easter is coming.
19. Heaven awaits me.
20 The ability to laugh.


God cares... He cares about me, and he cares about you! He knows me, and He still accepts me! God covers me in righteousness! His eyes are on me, and His eyes are on you! The Lord knows how to rescuse me, and that is what he has done not only for me, but so many of his children! Every blessing comes from His hand!

Pulling hair out! Venting!

Hello,

Warning there is no telling what this post may be about. I have been trying to send an e-mail out to over 100 people for 2 hours for my volunteer work. My email provider refuses to send the message, because it says it contains too many contacts. The ironic thing is, that only one contact has been added since the last mailing. It is an urgent prayer request that one of the volunteers/former staff asked me to send out ASAP.

It is time for the Walk For Life fundraiser and I have no clue how to involve my church in this, because there so much happening in the spring. I have been trying to meet with one of our church staff since Feb about personal matters without any family involvement which totally makes little sense now that I'm posting about it on a public blog. The truth is there are aspects of CP I hate, and I hate myself for that. I don't hate everything about in fact not even most things, but one thing I hate is the lack of control and privacy I have in my life. I hate that someone else has to know when I have to go to the bathroom, and that I can't do that by myself, but instead in that respect I am less than a toddler. I hate that the people who care for me have more control over my body than I do. I don't like to focus on these things, because it is self centered. I am healthy and for now mom is well! I am going to devote an entire entry to the wonders God has done in my life and the life of my family. For now, Lord please have mercy on me, and allow me to lay aside all the yucky stuff inside me I don't like that I cannot be left in the house alone, because there is a slim possibilty that the house might catch on fire and I cannot get out on my own. Okay all better.... Thank you all for indulging me, and my temper tantrum.

Mom's amazing Praise Report,,,,

God continues to amaze me with his Greatness and wonders! Here is my mom's latest Praise Report, if you know how bleak things seemed a week ago, then you know how awesome this is! I am so very thankful! Please praise God with me! Thank you for praying!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please keep doing so!
Here is the report!

T.J.

God has blessed me with more good news today and I just needed to share it with all you great prayer warriors and friends! I spent almost three hours at the ear, nose, and throat specialist today. I had a hearing test and I guess in about 10 to 15 years I may need a hearing aid! Ha! Truthfully I have lost some hearing over the years and I guess it was from all of that hard rock I listened to in the 70's and 80's! It also may be from the Faulkner side of the family which seems to have that problem as we age. It aint no fun to get old! Ha! The PET scan had shown an enlarged lymph node on the right side under my jaw area. Dr. Armstrong did a thorough exam of the area and then took a camera into my nose and throat area and discovered something that shocked both of us. I have had an abscessed cyst in my throat. He has given me an antibiotic and wants to see me back in 6 weeks to make sure it doesn't return. He also wants to see me again after my next Pep Scan to see if the area still shows up on the PET scan. I was very pleased with the report and give God the praise again for allowing this not to be cancer. I am so thankful to him that all of these reports seem to get better each time we see a doctor. The rest of the reports will be back on March the 19, and I will update you then. I just want to thank you for all of the prayers that you have lifted up on my behalf and also for all the cards, email, and phone calls. I am so blessed to have so many people who care and pray for me daily. Thank you!! Love, Madeline

Don't miss the Sunsets!

Picture from Google images and Lodgingforvacations.com

I am home with the end of bronchitis... I feel fine, but if I talk for any period of time, I s start to cough like mad. I did not go to Choices today, but none of this is what I wish to share with you. The last few weeks, my life seems to be one roller coaster after another, and yesterday nearly every fear I have suppressed came roaring to the surface. It was not that something bad happened, in fact the potential for something good seems to be possible. Still all day yesterday, it seemed there was this dark cloud of fear and hopelessness around me. i went outside yesterday, and the breeze and the warmth of the sun, and this is what I sensed the Lord whisper into my soul! "Don't worry about tomorrow child." "Don't let the troubles of tomorrow, rob you of joy today." You would be right if you are now saying to yourself the Bible has always said this it is nothing new. I have heard it so many times, but the reality of that has brought condemnation to me not freedom. That is until yesterday... Yesterday was different, yesterday it was like a breath of fresh air. I have been so bogged down by the fear of what could be that I have missed the joy of what is. What is is that my mom is here with me. What is, is that at this moment my NEEDS are met. What is, is that, the only place my focus needs to be is upon the here and the now. What is is that Jesus has gone to prepare a place for me. There are few guarantees in this life, and that is the part that lately has shaken me. Sometimes isn't just a day at a time, sometimes it is one hour or one minute. As a person with a battle with anxiety there is nothing more bizarre or shocking to my system than living in the moment. I don't want to miss the joy of now, because of my fear of later. The Lord knows I cannot handle the what if of tomorrow, all I can take hold of and should take hold of is the what is of today! I don't want to miss the sunset moments, because there is a possibility of rain.

Popsicles, and Shades of Blue!

From Google Images....

FROM Google Images...

These are two of my favorite things right now. Edy's all fruit Popsicles. Last Friday after training at Choices, I came home, and slept for several hours, I had a sore throat and stuffy nose, but a few days later after some rest I was feeling so much better. I ate a few Edy's Popsicles that week. I was able to go to Choices on Thursday, and we very busy and very shorthanded. I have been doing better with the whole thing with mom, in fact been more at peace than I've been in a very long time from an emotional and spiritual standpoint. Now the last couple of days, I have had a bad dry cough, drainage and wheezing. I feel like such a wimp, it seems like my body just does not handle or get over things as fast, as other people. Here my mom is fighting her health issues far more serious, and she is working just the same. Anyway If you have dry mouth these Popsicles are wonderful! Also if you are a Karen Kingbury fan and have not yet read Shades of Blue, I'm a little more than a hundred pages in, and love it, but if you are a first time Kingbury reader, I suggest you not start with this book, but try the first 4 books in the Redemption Series. I'm glad God's Mercies are new each day! Lam. 3:23. I am starting with a new morning caregiver on Monday. I know this post may not be the most encouraging, but I have lots of insights to share when I'm up to it. It has been nice to see a few folks commenting lately, thanks for the encouragement. My mom has a pelvic Scan on Monday, possibly a biopsy, and will see the ear/nose/throat specialist on March 10Th.

Good News!

Hi,

Thank you for your prayers and interest in my mom! I wanted to you give you some wonderful news! My mom's Liver scan came back clear no cancer in the liver! She is having tests run on other suspious areas, but no news yet. Thanks for your prayers! This is a much better week than last. I will try to post something fun soon!

My Mom’s health Update

Iam posting the entry from my mom's caringbridge site

Well, I sure never dreamed that I would be posting on this website again! Never Say Never!! I am in need of your prayers and I thought this would be the best way for me to let some of you know what has occurred during the past few day. You all have carried me through two reoccurrences of cancer and I know that you faithful prayers warriors will lift me up again in the coming days.
On Feb. 15, 2010, I had a PET scan as a follow up to make sure I was still in remission. Well yesterday I received two phone calls from two different doctors while teaching class. When you get two phone calls from two different doctors in the middle of teaching a class, then you know that the news cannot be that great! To be brief, I have four areas of concern on the PET SCAN! Two of the area are the same as my last cancer and shows a small hot spot in both areas (groin area and anal area). The third areas that looks suspicious is a small area in the liver. The forth area just show a lymph node under my jaw area that seems to be enlarged. I will have to say that the doctors sure got moving on this fast when they received the report. So I will have a MRI of my liver this Thurs. and I will see my surgeon on Friday morning. My surgeon wants to go over everything with me and determine if we need to do some type of biopsy. I am sure that this will be a long drawn out process of all types of test again. Remember I have been through this several times before. God has taught me through previous times to let him work out the timing for everything and that is what I plan to do. They have also already sit up an appointment for me to see a specialist about the enlarge node under my jaw and that will not take place until March 10th.
I still have faith that God is in control and that he has a plan for me. All of this may not be as bad as it sounds. I again have found myself looking to God and letting him know that I am trusting him in what ever is in the future. I am asking for your prayers in the coming days. God has already provided me with much grace and peace. Again, I find myself repeating: Psalm 91: 1 and 2, "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." I am thanking all of you in advance for your continued prayers. God Bless You! With Much Love, Madeline Posted on T.J.'S blog....

Nugget of encouragement

http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/b425f3b4-7f80-42a5-a452-8bd34b19a460/ Nugget of encouragement If you have a disability I know this will encourage, you, but even if you don't I'm confident it will still minister you.

My chair is currently in the mechanic shop, and the spare chair I am using really is almost impossible to use or manage in public. Some time maybe I will want to write about my journey with CP, but I have not felt that has a place on this blog up to this point. Hope you enjoy the link to the devotional above. BTW is anyone still reading my post out there??? Ha!

What's in your Pudding?

Photo from www.Dailyapple.blogspot.com

Hi Groupies:

I was going to post snow pics from last weekend, but mom already deleted the pics off her camera before I could upload the pictures here. I hope you like the color of this font, it is one of my favorite colors. This is another one of my Saturday posts. I wrote at the beginning of the year, that my theme for the year will be take Me Higher. One way I want to be taken higher is in my love for Christ and others. I don't mean out of obligation, because real love isn't out of guilt or ritual, but comes from relationship. If ever there were one worthy of my love it is my Creator and Savior! He loved me first! Before I knew what love was, He was loving me! If you came into my bedroom right you would discover that there are at least 2 things I love, movies, and music! I own all kinds of movies. The next ones I would like to buy are: "Tyler Perry's "I Can Do Bad All By Myself, and The Blindside" I want to see "Love Happens" & The remake of Fame" I know you must be thinking okay you are so "ADD" you started writing about loving Jesus, and now you are writing about loving movies? Stick with me, there is a connection here. As far as music goes, I like 60's 70's A tiny bit of Country music, and a lot of " Christian music" I could say more about that, but it would get me off track. It would be easy to come to the conclusion I love movies, but it is not always as simple to determine or measure a person's love for Christ. I have Bible Verses on my wall, and I go to church regularly, but none of this is proof that I love Christ or others. In Fact, there are those who outwardly claim to love Jesus, but it goes no further than religious objects. Jesus gives direction on how can examine if we love Him. Remember that saying the Proof is in the Pudding? John 15:10 If you keep My Commandments, you will abide in my love; just I have kept My Father's Commands and abide in His Love." Real Love goes deeper than outer appearances or superficial gestures. If you are at all like me, you may talk and hear a lot about grace, but find yourself rarely waking in it daily, but the joy comes in walking a little more in the reality of grace, than the day before. I had a light bulb moment this morning. I hope it really sinks in, and doesn't not just leave as fast as it came. I cannot truly love God without loving the people He Created, and I cannot truly love people without loving The Creator. I know that thought did not originate with me. Though the wording is different the concept can be found in 1 John 3 & 4. I really have to with God's help, love each member of my family better, before I can transfer that love to a lost and hurting world. Can you relate? What keeps you from loving God, and people more? I can think of a lot of things that keep me from loving God and others better, but the number one reason is S-E-l-F. FYI I LOVE SATURDAYS!

Desiring the Higher things,