Jesus and Baseball?!

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This was written on a different day than post date.

        As the Little League United States championship game is taking place, at this moment, I feel as though I'm reliving part of my childhood. My brother played baseball from the time he was four until his late teen years. He continued to play softball and some baseball throughout his college years. As long as I can remember, he has enjoyed athletics.  Growing up, I can remember spending numerous hours at the baseball field. Sometimes he would have  as many as three games per day.  I loved watching him and his teammates. I always have marveled at my brother's ability and talents in baseball and other athletics settings.  His ability  to tune things out amazes me. Here's what I mean, the crowd could be cheering, but, while everyone is shouting how you should hold the bat, or what directions you should  follow, : my brother has a remarkable ability to focus on his task at hand.  I however am not good at tuning things out around me  Excessive noise can sometimes send me into a mental  overload..  As I watched games over the years, I recall frequently the coaches would tell the players keep their eyes focused on the ball, and to protect the plate, meaning swing to hit if it's in the strike zone. If not, let the pitcher walk you if it isn't. At least, that was my understanding from years of observation.  The coaches would often comment on how my brother would "watch the Ball all the way in" which helped him hit the ball well and get on base.  If you think about that for a minute there is a spiritual lesson in baseball.  At least when you are batting, you must keep your eye on the ball in order to succeed. You must not allow yourself to become distracted by the cheering crowd or the critics.  You cannot wallow in the last strike out or fielding error.    In our spiritual walk, we are told that key to being victorious is to "fix our eyes on Jesus, just like in baseball, life offers so many  distractions that often entice us to take our eyes off Christ, who has won our victory!Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."  Heb. 12:1-3

  Worry, deadlines, pressures, changes, trials, and false beliefs, can all take our focus  away from the eternal things,  Our joy and peace can be quickly stolen, not only by daily events or negative outlooks of our own, but also the outlook of others. This is much like when a player steals base in a baseball game.  Last week, there was one day where my circumstances were noticeably  out of my control, and it was only when I turned my eyes back to Jesus through God's presence, and a friend's encouragement,  I was reminded not  to become distracted by the situation.  I may have struck out that day, but that won't be my last at bat, and just maybe next time I will keep my eyes on Jesus, as He leads me to victory, despite the distractions which surround me.  What or who keeps you focused in this "game" called life?   

A Dose of Real and Thankful thrown in!

I have started several posts, this week and well thoose just haven't worked well.  Today is Friday, so mom will return home from Nashville tomorrow.  Sometimes, I think that when people know you love to write, they somehow think it comes easy to express yourself, but guess what it isn't.  When I write, what's in my heart comes out.  I wish sometimes I could write about surface stuff but I can't.  I wonder sometimes does this make me a bad writer?  I sometimes would love to write about what I had for lunch, but I'm easily bored by small talk, and am often seen as "too serious" because I like to have deep enriching conversations, though those  are often seasoned with humor.  I often feel melancholy, because in reality sometimes it takes every ounce in me to hide my true feelings and thoughts about things.  People don't want real too often, they want nice, neat and simple.  I take comfort in the fact that I can't pretend with God.  I'm learning slowly that there is no pretense with God.  He knows me, and doesn't grow tired of me, that amazes me.  I often want to write about having a family member who has cancer, and encourage others, but sometimes it feels like people don't want to read too much about that, because it provides a reality check for those who read.  I also sometimes want to write about the ups and downs of CP, but I'm not sure how that will come across to readers either.  I want to write about anger and bitterness .  I want to write about hope in trials, but I'm well aware  I risk losing the readers I have by doing so.  So as this swirls around in my brain, in the meantime,- I will tell you what I'm thankful for:

1. I'm thankful my mom's new trial is going so well so far.
2. Friends who are real.
3. Conflicts resolved 
4. The joy of prayer and repentance
5. New mercies 
6. Good books 
7. The right to process information before making it public.  

So now for the small talk what are your plans for the weekend?  Half Full Friday is sponsored byhttp://butterfly-wyldechylde.blogspot.com/2012/08/half-full-friday_24.html Thanks Sprinkles.  

Waving Goodbye To Regret! Wound Healer Part II.

     

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Has there ever been a time in your life where you wanted to do something, but fear or excuses stood in your way? I don't mean necessarily the big things in life. I mean for example, trying out for a sport, or taking a trip you just keep putting off?  If this isn't true of you, then I suggest you stop reading now, because either you are the biggest daredevil on the planet, or you are lying to yourself. There have been some things, in my life that I wish that I had been brave enough to attempt. One was to join the debate team at Hunter Middle School. I always thought I would be good at it. My mom and close family members have always joked that I should have been a lawyer, because I could argue my position to death. I'm quite sure she didn't mean it as a compliment, but believe me I took it as one. It's ironic now, because as I got older I learned how to be intentional about avoiding conflict at all costs. I also wish that I had joined the Chattanooga State newspaper, while I was a student there, but I was never brave enough.   There have been other regrets on a larger scale than this Thie fear of failure at times in my life, has been paralyzing.  I don't want this to be true of my writing.  The more I live, the more I discover that the risk takers in this world are the ones who often live rich fulfilling lives. I don't want to live a life, immobilized by regret. I've done enough of that already. I'm not saying that it's always wise to throw caution to the wind, but what I am saying is that sometimes playing it safe can become a prison all of its own.  Everything I've just written her goes against my natural personality.
     The early church followers of Christianity had anything but safe lives, still what they did have was an unshakable security in Jesus Christ.  I can't change my past no matter how much I might like to, but I can change my approach to living life now. I'm not concretely sure what steps that God may be asking me to take, but I know that I want to take those steps, as long as those steps are directed by him.  Has God been faithful to you, when you have taken what felt like a giant step of faith?  Will you go with me on this journey however uncertain it could be? You will hear more in the days to come, but for now in order to be set free from the prison of regret both big and small, we must decide that we desire freedom in Christ, more than the familiarity of our own prisons.  I hear the bells of freedom in the distance, but I can't see these yet.  I can see the sunset, but I can grab it yet.  What if David, listened to the naysayers when they said he couldn't fight Goliath?  What if Moses had listened to his own objections?  What if Gabby Douglas had given up on the Olympics a year earlier?  What if the apostle Paul had allowed his past to define his future? What if Michael Jordan had given up too soon?  My question is this, where do we need to move on from the past, in order to embrace our now?  How many sunsets moments are we going to miss in the present, because we cannot let go of the ones we missed in the past?
        I know my next sentence may seem like it’s an oprah Winfrey slogan, and I admit it sounds a bit like something she’d say. I’m learning that with each new day, God through his mercy allows me to redefine who I can become.  I’ve heard all my life how God gives people second chances, but because of Christ, we are given a fresh start with every breath we breathe.  Are you embracing your fresh start, or like me are you still bound by the prison of yesterday?  Are we bound by yesterday’s missed sunsets or the painful memories that seem like we might cave under the weight of rejection both real and imaged?     As I was thinking about how to wrap up this post, I thought of three verses.  “ And we know that God causes everything to work together^[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28  NLT  It occurred to me, that while remorse is the proper response to sin, regret is longer lasting and counterproductive to God’s kingdom. When we know God has promised to work out both our victories and failures out for our good and his purpose! "Brothers, I do not^[a] consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead,  I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly^[b] call in Christ Jesus." Phil.3:13-14.HCSB     The apostle knew that He could not take steps forward, if He stayed held hostage by regret.  My mom has always told me can't change the past, and she is right we cannot relieve our moments, but I'm learning that we can do, at least two things with the past, we can let it change us into better people, and learn from it, asking God to use it, or we can continue to mourn it, and continue to be imprisoned in lives filled with regret.  Every day, we are offered the same choice.  I want to wave goodbye to the pain of regret, one step at a time are you coming with me?   "Christ has liberated us to be free. Stand firm then and don’t submit again to a yoke of slavery." Gal 5:1  God provides us with the chance to witness a new sunset every day, let's not miss it by holding on to regret!

  

The BIG "C- Christ, is Able to fight the little "c- cancer

tonight I  write you my readers, with a heavy heart for a few people fighting the little c- cancer.  This idea of the little c cancer did not originate with me, but I heard it when my mom first found out she had cancer in 2008.  It isn't that cancer is a little thing at all.  What is true though is the Big C stands not for cancer, but for Christ.  At another time, I will write about how my mom is doing, and the journey we are on, but right now I want to ask you to pray for a 16 year old girl named Jordan who has cancer of the brain from my church.  She will begin the radiation process tomorrow.  Please remember her and her family in your prayers.  Please pray for healing, comfort, peace, and strength!  Pray for her daily.  If I continue to learn anything in the past 4\ years, it is this... No matter what, Christ will always be bigger than cancer.  I don't always know what that looks like, but I know it is true!  
  Please also pray for my blogger friend Beth, whose sister is in the wanting process of test results!  Thank you!  

Wound Healer Part 1.

                During one of my mom’s many surgeries, she was forced to be left with an open wound. The purpose of this was so that the highly dangerous infection in her leg would be able to properly drain. This required home health nurses having to come on a daily basis to pack her leg, so that it would properly heal without leaving a gaping permanent hole.  During this time, it was frustrating for my mom, because it was time-consuming, uncomfortable and required her to have to depend on someone else for her needs.  Her leg had to packed for proper care. As I thought about this, it occurred to me that this is what happens when we as Christians experience wounds of a different kind.  I realized recently how deep the wound of rejection can be.  Over years of writing on this blog, I’ve discovered that one of the topical issues I tend to write in one form another is rejection. This is one of my wounds.  I believe that there are a couple of unhealthy ways that I have dealt with the pain of rejection.  One way is by avoiding conflict at all costs.  It's probably obvious, but this is an unhealthy habit because it's impossible.  I've always been intrigued by the fact that Jesus never seemed to run from conflict. Maybe the reason I am so quick to avoid conflict, is because I know that more often than not I will not respond how Jesus did. You see, Jesus was far from a people pleaser like me.  When Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness in matthew chapter 4, he didn't become rattled because he knew who he was. He knew whose approval he already had.  I have a really bad habit of not telling people when my feelings are hurt; instead I try to rationalize away the hurt I feel, so that I can avoid conflict. It's a vicious cycle I know that.   

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      Going back to the wound analogy with my mom, I'm discovering that just as her physical wound had to be packed, we as Christians cannot expect our wounds whatever they may be to just fade away into the night. Without ever having surrendered  to Christ to bring healing.  We cannot know the supernatural power of healing to our wounds apart from The Wound Healer  Some wounds heal quicker than others. Some can be treated with a quick apology, while others like my mom’s take time to treat properly.  In Isaiah 61 Jesus proclaims that one of the reasons he came, was to heal the brokenhearted.    As I was laying awake late the other night,  a wound came up that I continue to push away without addressing it.  I'm sure it is because I know it will be uncomfortable. It will require my choosing to let go and not holding on. I might have to risk losing the approval of others and having conversations I'd rather not have. I sometimes wonder if what attracted crowds to Jesus, was his willingness to do the hard things.  If my mom had not allowed her leg to be treated properly, then it would have left her impaired in some way. Now of course in my mom's case, the choice seems like no choice at all.  Of course, you're going to take the necessary steps to healing. On a spiritual level though, most of us – well okay I don't want to do the work necessary to promote healing. Sure, I want the benefits of allowing the Lord to heal the wounds but am I willing to do the hard work to get there?  I'm learning that when we hold our wounds near to our hearts without surrendering these to Christ, we find ourselves impaired in different ways. “He heals the brokenhearted” and bandages their wounds.”  Ps. 147:3 Much like my mom would have experienced, if she had chosen not to allow the time and effort it took to accomplish the task. I realize this is kind of a psychology-based post but that was never my intention. So I have a few questions for you, my readers: have you experienced a type of emotional healing that only entrusting Christ can accomplish?  While I know this is a particularly difficult topic – and I'm not asking for specifics, I'm wondering are there pieces of advice you would give to those on the outside looking in? If you are still waiting on, or in the process of a continual healing, built on the foundation of Christ, what are some tools you would be willing to share?  For me, I'm learning that there are some wounds that only Christ can heal. I'm also learning that running away from that which I don't want to face is harmful.  Sometimes what hurts us seems insignificant to others, but how comforting it is to know that to Christ all of our wounds are important. No matter how insignificant we may think these to be.  Sometimes for me I replay different forms of rejection, to the point that these have become an unspoken expectation of my own.  It was only as I’m beginning to bring these to Christ, which I have discovered Christ never desired for his children to believe or be driven by wounds of rejection.  I’m not saying that I’ve faced rejection to the degree that lots of people have, but that still does not change the fact that God cares, or overshadow the need for God’s supernatural healing    I hope this won't be the last word on the subject.  I also want to write about what it is like to be the person inflicting the wound. I have been on both sides of the coin.  

A little game!

A friend of mine Molly @ A Foreign Land was so nice to nominate me for the  Liebster Blog award earlier this week.'m ecstatic about it.  Molly is one of the most creativity people I've ever met.  Yes, we've met in real life.  She is real and humorous and a much more consistent and seasoned blogger than me.  There are so many fun things to read about at her blog see above.    The Liebster award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. What is a Liebster? The meaning: Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.  Since I know most my readers don't do the tag thing I'm opening this up to whoever would like to respond.

1. What was the last movie you saw in a theater?

   The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 

2. What do you want to be when you grow up? An author
3. What would you do-oo-oo for a Klondike bar?  for regular nothing, but Reese kind, Kiss a frog 
4. Superman, Batman or Iron man?  Always Superman
5. How many brothers and sisters do you have and where are you in the birth order? one brother I'm older
6. What is your favorite season? summer
7. Are you more of an early riser or a night owl?night owl
8. How did you come up with the name of your blog?It's a plan on the words of Michael W. smith's song place in this world
9. What's one thing you've accomplished that you want to brag about? Go ahead! Brag!  I spoke at my high school gradation.
10. What book are you reading right now? In the middle of a few, not attached or married to any. 
11. What would you consider your signature color?  I love Teal, but I'm told I look good in red, but I think I stand out in red.  

If you choose to play along, and I hope you will, come back and link up in the comment section. Let's use this as an opportunity to get to know one another a little bit better! 

My 11 questions

1. What's one of your pet peeves?

2. Are you an extrovert or introvert? 

3.  What Movie do you like watching many times

4.  Favorite Scent?

5. What do you want to know, that you don't?

6.  When is your birthday?

7. What is your favorite game?  

8. Who do you admire, and why?  

9. What do you like to blog about most? 

10.  Where would you go, if money was no object.  

11. What makes you laugh? 

How Do You see?

                                                   
                                                                via Pintrest



             To be honest, I don't know if the above pin will tie into this post or not, but it is a truth that I'm learning to hold dear to this well known song more with each day!  For a long time, the words above made me uneasy, and now I marvel at the thought, knowing the security the words reflect for me and millions of others around the world.

          I have been reading in 1 Samuel and really enjoying it.  Have you ever felt overlooked   or discounted?  There is a teenager in 1 Sam. who his family and perfect strangers counted out without the slightest consideration.His name was David, and because He was younger than his brothers, he was discounted, not on one occasion, but several times.   David's Father neglected to mention him when the prophet Samuel came to their home in search of Israel's next king even Samuel expected God to chose one of the other sons, but God made his desire crystal clear!  Please look at 1 Sam.16:6 for better context.  I have 1 Samuel 16:7-12 postedFrom Biblegateway 

⁷ But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or his stature, because I have rejected him. Man does not see what the Lord sees,^[d] for man sees what is visible,^[e] but the Lordsees the heart.”

⁸ Jesse called Abinadab and presented him to Samuel. “The Lord hasn’t chosen this one either,” Samuel said. ⁹ Then Jesse presented Shammah, but Samuel said, “The Lord hasn’t chosen this one either.” ¹⁰ After Jesse presented seven of his sons to him, Samuel told Jesse, “The Lord hasn’t chosen any of these.”¹¹ Samuel asked him, “Are these all the sons you have?”

“There is still the youngest,” he answered, “but right now he’s tending the sheep.” Samuel told Jesse, “Send for him. We won’t sit down to eat until he gets here.” ¹² So Jesse sent for him. He had beautiful eyes and a healthy,^[f] handsome appearance."  

             Do you see how Jesse discounted his son, it may very well have been unintentional on the part of Jesse and then Samuel in the earlier verse, but in later chapters his brother discounted him for the task on fighting Goliath a towering warrior giant who bullied God's people.  Most of us focus on how God tells us not to judge by appearance, but by the condition of the heart.  Something else caught my attention this time though.  First, God never discounted David for what most see as weakness.  Yes, David was a shepherd, and he was young, but God molded both these so called weaknesses and used these for His purposes.  Second, here is the proof that God sees differently and better than we can.  God tells us clearly in verse 7 that when we look at our lives we are only capable of using earthly vision, but God sees both what is visible and invisible to our eyes.  Like me, are you plagued currently by events you don't understand?  If you are, rest assured we can Know that God can see clearly what is foggy in our eyes!  Olympic Medalist, Michael Phelps once got pool water in his goggles, during a major event, but he still won, because he had been trained to continue swimming even when he could not see his surroundings.  Likewise, even when we can't see our path ahead, we can still rest in the arms of the God who does not discount us and has the perfect view of our lives!  It can be well with our souls, because God sees with perfect vision!  What Aha moment have you encountered, once you discovered that God sees you and your life differently than you do?  If you are reading this post you have gone with me to a live Aha moment!

She Speaks Recap and dipping my toe in the water

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Lysa TerKeurst Author/Speakerhttp://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lysaterkeurst.com%2F&h=ZAQG1WPMn  

Author/ Speaker

Sharon Glasgow

                                            My Speaking Eval.Leader

                                                It looks pretty but so not a fan of mayo...

                                                              This was my Manna from above!

Rich, Rich Rich!

Author/ Speaker Liz Curtis Higgs by far the funniest most comedic down to earth woman I've ever met! 

         Let me began by saying that while it may appear that all I did @ She Speaks was meet big time authors and speakers this is very far from true.  Many of you are probably expecting to make some big announcement about writing a book or speaking to people.   I learned a TON about the ins and out of writing and speaking.  I met lots of people from nearly every cultural background one could imagine!   Yes I said culture not state The life lessons I learned were just as apparent as all the meat and Potato ones.    I learned that I am a writer, and I love it!  I am a writer now, not later when I'm published but now.  I learned I like to speak, but I love to write!     God has given me a message that is uniquely mine, though I am still discovering what that looks like.  I found out that I'm very introspective, and though I love people, contrary to popular opinion I don't enjoy being the center of attention, and that's okay.    It was like a crash course in college, but you only have to learn subjects that interest you.  Jenn and I had a great traveling together!  It was such a gift she gave me in Our Lord.    I enjoyed all of it, but the first night I had a "freak out, after one of the speakers talked about all the physical things a speaker should do while delivering a message, like breathe properly move around on stage, and I panicked.  It took me almost the rest of the night to get over my feelings of inadequacy, but once I did I was able to fully embrace the rest of the weekend and lot go of my fear.  Thanks for your prayers!  I'm excited about what is waiting for me.  Here are few things I am learning....

• I am a gifted communicator- I say that with both shock and excitement!   
• I need to use my gifts.
• I don't have to be someone else to be effective.
• Perspective Matters
• I am a picky eater, and I'm okay with that
• Prayer and writing are never a waste of time for me, if it is time directed by the Lord!  
• I love to laugh!  
• I can take risks when it counts. 

The trip is a gift I will cherish!  Special thanks to Jenn Hand and all who helped make the trip possible!    i RECEIVED wonderful constructive feedback!  There was much laughter!
Tell me what you are in the process of learning about right now?    

              

Yes, We Can, Because "He" Did!

Please note this post was written days prior to the Supreme Court's ruling today, and was not intended to make a political statement of any kind.
In the last several years it seems my confidence in my intellect has suffered a lot.  The fact is I never had much confidence in my skills.    I can do people, but ask me to learn a new skill and I will break out in a sweat.  I suppose it is because for years no matter how much I succeeded, it always seemed I was one step away from discovering I wasn't smart, and if that happened my identity would be gone.  I might be able to fool other people, but I knew the truth.  The truth is there are some serious holes in my skill level, and sometimes there are days I wonder how I excelled in high school, much less three years of college.  It seems what I lacked in skill or ability, I concealed through effort.  As I approach an exciting event in my lifeShe Speaks I'm thrilled and amazed, still part of me thinks I'm foolish to think God would desire to use me in the area of communication written or spoken.  Then,though I am reminded God is not oblivious to my weakness or my strengths.  I also know there are a TON OF PEOPLE who love me and believe in me way more than I understand.These people have allowed me the chance to go, and more importantly God picked this time, this season for me to attend!  Back during President Obama's election campaign, He used the slogan "Yes We Can"  Regardless of my opinion or views on his polices, I like many were mesmerized by his optimism and the historical context of his campaign, and his "underdog roots"  I realize many of  you  stopped reading at this point at the very mention of something political, but hang with me.  You and I both know that apart from Christ, we can do nothing, but this slogan, "YES WE CAN has applications  for Christians in our walk.  The truth is if we believed what God says about what we as believers can do, we would be unstoppable!  So I'm borrowing a portion of President Obama's slogan, and adding a little a little something to it.  Yes, We can, because He meaning Christ already did .Everything we needed to make us VICTORIOUS has been accomplished!         No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us."  Romans 8:37  Despite whatever Weakness we have God's grace and power are greater!  Also, see Phil 1:6    I do ask that you all pray for me in the coming weeks as I prepare!  Thank you!
    

Choose Joy Friday!

     It has been awhile since you have seen a Choose Joy post from me.  I use the word Joy instead of happiness on purpose, but I'll tell you more about that another time. Half Full Friday is a series of weekly posts that Eyegirl originally started in June 2009.  We believe that a lot of our happiness is determined by our attitude about the things that happen to us.  So by participating, I'm deciding to see the glass as half full instead of half empty; I'm choosing to concentrate on the positives instead of dwelling on the negatives.  The Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that.  They're a list of the things in my life that have brought me happiness over the past week.  I'm determined to find something good in each day.  Are you? by Sprinkles @ http://butterfly-wyldechylde.blogspot.com/  Link up with her blog if you want to join in!

For the next week, I'd like to challenge each of you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness each day.  Be sure to link up here once you've posted your list!  (This isn't a blog hop so please only link up if you've participated by posting your happy list on your own blog.  Thanks!)

• I am joyful because I was given an amazing hot stone massage as a gift!  It was beyond words an amazing experience...
• I have discovered the book Choose Joy by Kay Warren, and while I'm only over half way through, it has still rocked my world.
• My mom is doing great Living with cancer
• I'm going to She speaks conferenceInfo here!! 
• I love Summer!  

1 John 4:16

"JOY is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be all right, and the determined choice to praise God in all things."Kay Warren Choose Joy)

What is your simple truth?

Hello Friends:
Are you still out there?  Hope your weekend is going well!  I need to tell you something, I've been avoiding posting, because well most of my posts are about growing with God, and in the past few months, I've been very unsure about where God is taking me.  There have been painful moments, where I've been afraid to face this blog, my friends and even sometimes my family.  I've been wresting with questions about who God is, and who I am, and well it has been a journey of some sleepless nights and tears.  You see in relation to you, my readers, I know God loves and values you.  I know he has a plan for your life, but somehow when it comes to looking in the mirror and seeing myself, there's a disconnect there, which has made me feel rather hypocritical.  I thought how can I talk about God or write about him, when I'm struggling so much, and learning so much about the misconceptions I have had concerning God.  Coupled with the thought I've failed every test of faith God has given me over the last few months.   I am not some super christian, I'm just a 29 year old lady trying to figure things out who happens to know that knowing Christ has made my life worth living.    So I'm going to tell you some things God is showing me, that I'm thankful for.  No teaching preaching lesson.  Just where I am, and maybe just maybe it will mean something to you.

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• God cares about ME.
• God's plans for me are good.
• God really says I am lovable 
• God does not look at me like others might
• God wants me to enjoy him. And are you ready for this, I think the God of the universe might maybe actually enjoy me...  I admit that one is super hard to swallow...  I know these things sound rather simple, and in fact they are so simple that I wonder if most Christians, maybe me most of all see them as nothing more than sing song phases.  After all as an adult we are told to embrace more complex truths, but maybe where we go wrong is that we don't take the time to embrace the beauty that maybe simplicity is what makes things profound.  What simple truths are you learning or relearning?         

Trip with Mom to SCRI In Nashville

Dear Friends,

I am still processing many things in mind as I write.  Last Wed I went with my mom to Nashville for her SCRI visit.  This is where she has been undergoing a clinical trial, since they adjusted her dose most of her terrible side effects have stopped   I didn’t know what to expect, but I’m so glad I went.  While I don’t know any patients by name, I felt strangely bonded and comforted, and saddened  in knowing that they  too were facing the very same fight, sure the type of cancer might be different as well as the story, but the journey is much the same as my mom’s.  There is this silent understanding that I sensed as I observed this room full of cancer fighters and survivors.  Each different ages, different classes, and personalities, nonetheless connected by a path they would have never willingly chosen   I chuckled inside myself as a man battling cancer in his later years, instructed a woman with him, I assume she was his wife of many years, how to use her new high tech cell phone.  The two of them were quite humorous, and exchanged dirty inside jokes about each other.  I honestly didn’t know which one of them was fighting cancer, but was surprised by how at ease and familiar they seemed in their surroundings.     Mom and I met a couple who was from AL, but the husband grew up in Chattanooga on Danby Drive.  His liver cancer had reached a point where doctors even at SCRI told him they could no longer help him, and it was time to call in Hospice.  They took him off all treatments, and told him the end was near.  Shortly after that he began to feel better, so they did a scan and discovered that his cancer had reversed, God did a miracle in this man’s life.  His cancer is now the size of a twinkle in his liver and He is now able to undergo a clinical trial at SCRI.  There was another woman there from Chattanooga who took the Greyhound bus to get there.  I was reminded how blessed mom and our family is to have so much support.  I met a lady who offered me a soda while mom was in lab.  She was older, and I loved that despite the fact that she has incurable kidney cancer, and cancer of the shoulder, she still took time to notice me.  I asked her how long she had been coming, and she said a little over a year.  She said if this trial did not work she was going home, by home she meant heaven. She started to cry a little, and I felt bad for asking.  Almost as quickly as tears came, a peace came across her face, and she said “I know where I’m going” She said, the hardest thing would be leaving her family.  She showed me pictures of her grandchildren, and I realized on some level she wanted to share her story.  What she asked me next surprised me, she didn’t ask me about my wheelchair, which is what most people do, she asked me if I knew where I was going when I died, and if I had ever been baptized, to both questions I responded yes with a smile on my face, I don’t know if she asked about baptism, because she thinks baptism is needed to get to heaven, but I know I’ve prayed for her since our trip, and I hope I see her soon.  There was also a man who has been through 47 cycles on the same trial and is doing well.  I learned so much from this short trip.  One, I learned how blessed I am.  I learned there is always Hope.  I know we as Christians are suppose to believe it, and I suppose I have on some level, but it’s deeper now.    I discovered or rather was reminded that there are caring doctors.  There was a peace in knowing God can do anything!  Last, I remembered to cherish life in the moment, and not longing for more, but embracing the gift of a moment!  As a side note, I love the Lifeway  store in Nashville, and enjoyed the park with my mom after our time at SCRI.  I discovered that some patients stay in Nashville for months at a time, and how thankful I am my mom can make the weekly trips, and I’ve not had to be away from her from for more than a few days at a time.   

Tell me how your life is going?  Thanks for all your prayers for mom and us!

A week of celebration and Reflecting... Part 1

Wow what a busy 2 weeks it has been!  We have three family birthdays in April including my own. Last Sunday I turned 29....   My aunt decorated in my favorite colors, and the family had a steak/shrimp dinner for me!  My cousin Kim made an amazing birthday cake!   A friend from church hand painted a bucket with my name, and a butterfly on it, and it had my favorite candy bar inside!  Best friend day at Local Chattanooga Mall   We were crazy!  I have more exciting things to share, but I must close for now..  How was your week?

A Control Freak Meets Jesus

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In their hearts humans plan their course, 
   but the LORD establishes their steps. Prov. 16:9
Well this weekend I was reminded of the above.  For those of you who don't have type A personalities I covet your life!  One of my biggest fears in life is being unprepared.  I feel safest when I'm surrounded by structure.  I was asked a few months ago to speak at a a local conference hosted and organized by my friend, who God created:a fun loving, free spirit awesome woman of God.  Even though I had done some planning for the event, every time I tried to put the pieces together, I couldn't, and yet I still knew God had directed my friend and me that God wanted me there.  In my family, all the women gifted and detailed planners.  Everything about that night was amazing, but there was still this one thing, even after getting in place to speak, I still had no idea how all the pieces fit, despite hours weeks of study and prayers.  If I had not feared shattering my best friend's heart, or found comfort in the wonderful prayer circle around me prior, I would have found the nearest exit.  All I kept thinking is Lord what is this, I have spoken to large crowds before, and I've never been this shaken ..  I have spoken at graduation, communication is what I do. I knew God had his way that night, and that in spite of my weakness. He spoke his words and conveyed his love and truth, and it wasn't as if I choked, he was faithful!  For the most part I kept my composure until we pulled out the parking lot, and then the sobs began.  I realized  later what I was afraid of was not speaking, what I feared most was not having control, and appearing unprepared and irresponsible.  After I prayed about this I realized God didn't want me to appear in control, because the fact is, I'm not in control, because no matter what I do or don't do, I'm not IN Control, and I never have been.  God wanted me to see He didn't me to do or be anything to be of use to him.  He has the power to use, whoever, not matter the condition they find themselves.  My need to "seem" in control hiders God's leading in my life at times.  Iff Friday night had gone differently, then I never would have seen God show up that way He did!  I use to think that people who said, they followed the Spirit was code for "I didn't prepare so I'll just wing it"  I realize now this was a very sinful and arrogant assumption on my part.  Once I got beyond this, I was able to do exactly as He  planned, frailty and all! and I was just blessed enough to be along for the ride!  My preparation and illusion of control, is an idol that colors so much of my life     Don't miss what God wants to do, being so busy staying in your box!  Take it from a control freak, who had a meeting with Jesus!  I love you Jenn! thanks for listening to God, and being just who God created you to be!  Even if I had the power, I would not change one thing!  My dear readers make your plans, but don't let your plans, become your" god"

I Still Know!

Hello,

    Yes it been a minute!  I never intended for this blog to be a diary.  I love writing and believe God has given me a gift.  Over the last month there have been crazy up and downs in my life, days when I look back and think Lord How did we get through this day, and I know it is only because God has held me.  It isn't just one thing, it is many things, My mom's health, changes in caregivers @ least for several weeks while my regular had surgery.  Some came with rudeness and others came with emotional neediness.   Broken relationships, lack of sleep, Good news bad news Choices work, you name it.  I have several meltdowns in recent weeks, and after receiving the amazing that Mom's health is stable, meaning no increase in cancer growth, which I've rejoiced greatly over, and thanking God for.  I can't shake this feeling I've failed God in recent weeks.  My instant response has not been to trust God, even though I've seen him provide again and again.  By God's grace I was invited and enabled to speak @ at a conference last night, and though I know God was faithful, I barely made it through, but with God's help I did, much to the praise of those listening.  I know it wasn't "my" best, but God used my weakness.  It is constant struggle not be angry with myself right now, and just rest in God's love for me.  I feel like the kid who is kicking and screaming in the floor yet, not even he knows why...  I still know, that God is who he claims he is!  I still know, He is true to his word.  I still know He is God!  I still know He has not given up on me!  I still know he is with me!  I STILL KNOW, HE IS LOVING!  I STILL KNOW I HAVE EVERY REASON TO BE THANKFUL!  I STILL KNOW MY GOD IS GREATER!  I Still KNOW MY GOD IS LOVE!   Tell me what you still know?

A Sermon In Progress that Changed it All!

 

      Hi Bloggers:

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          I know you are maybe surprised to find me  posting so soon after my declared departure.  I've made an important decision regarding this blog, and it seems only fair to include you, my readers in it.  When I began this blog, my goal was to share my own faith reflections with you and allow you to share yours too.  While I still want that to be the cause, but the truth is there are times when I am truly void of reflections, so I've decided that when I have something to share I will, and when I don't, I trust the readers I have left, will be gracious.  I am using a loner laptop as my computer crashed recently.  I also want to sometimes just blog about life, and the joys and sorrows that come with it.  One reason i felt compelled to stop blogging for a time, was because I fear my own transparency.  I know there are things that should not be shared on a blog, and I want to be private, but my transparency is hard to contain when I write, and I am trying to grow and mature in this, but at times it is difficult.

          On to the above pin, do you believe the  above pin about yourself and others- What do you believe about the above pin?    I remember the first time someone challenged me about my views on personal worth  with regard to myself and others.  A couple times in my life, I have heard people say, so-in so- is just worthless, because he/she does not do ABC or does not know this or that.  So naturally, when I was challenged by someone with the question, do you believe your worth and  worth of others is based on what they do or don't do or what they know, with hesitation I responded yes.    The person who asked me this several years ago,  looked at me with sorrow in her eyes, as if to say you poor thing...  I knew of course that salvation was a gift of grace  after all I had heard it often in my amazing Southern Baptist church, but didn't make the connection that just as my salvation comes from God, my worth is not dependent on my performance, but rather because I simply by existing, and therefore have even before I took my first breath outside the womb, am a reflection of my Creator. No that did not, nor does it mean I am saved from birth, but it does mean that we have value/worth before we are ever born.  Gen.1:26 Psalm 139.    Not long after that discussion, I discovered a biblical way of thinking changed me slowly, but nonetheless it changed me.  Sanctity of Human Life.  It  clicked like a fully lit Christmas tree!  God is the Author of life, that means He cared enough to create us uniquely and save us from the effects of death spiritually.  It means then, that you and I have value, we have worth, as hard as it is to accept sometimes, we have worth and there is nothing you and I can do or not to change that.  .Believe me I've tried to look for every reason possible reason to claim, myself worthless, but it a lie, and the truth remains human beings have worth, yes we are sinners, any  church in America should tell us that, but likewise scripture tells us God values us, and has a plan for us. Luke 12:7 Psalm 138:8.  Why am I telling you, because somebody told me, and It changed everything.  Yes, I battle lies that I'm worthless, that I'm a mistake, a burden, not smart, but since I know the truth now,I am accountable to live according to truth.  It is not anyone's fault that I followed a trail of lies for a good portion        of my life,  I have an amazing family, awesome church great friends, but the world feeds us lies, everyday, and I have spent years believing those lies, and I don't want believe these anymore, and I don't want you to either.  I'm not there yet, but will you come with me as I continue to take off the rags of lies, I've been wearing these a long time.  it isn't easy to put new ones on.  Come with me!  I'm sure you will find some new stuff to put on too!

Saying See You Later Bloggers!

    I just want to say thank you for praying for my mom!  Her chemo went better this time!  God has met every need we have!  He has carried us through so much...  She didn't get sick this round....    I know your prayers made the difference!   She will have a scan on the 14th, and soon after find out, if more Chemo is required.....

    Can I be honest?  I don't have anything to give the blogging world at this season in my life, and I feel I need to leave for awhile....  I'm going through a very difficult season, where sometimes just being motivated to get out of bed is hard.  Your prayers are  appreciated!  I will press on with my Savior!  But for now I'm saying, I thank you for reading, and I'll see you later...  I'll be back, I just need time

Standing on The Promises!

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I don't know if most of you are still with me, but mom starts her second round of chemo tomorrow, and I covet your prayers for her health, healing, and well-being!  Also for us as a family well.   I don't have a long message for you tonight, but God keeps giving me the same message, and I want to share it with you!  1. God is for You!  In others words if you belong to him, He is always on your side...  If you are like me you may be tempted to think that when bad things happen in life, it is somehow a sign God is mad at you or that He is against you, but He is Not!    This comforts me to know He God is for me and you!  2. God says No matter what happens He will work it out for those who love him and are called according to his purpose!  Romans 8:28 is your proof!  3. He promises never to leave or forsake his children!  4.  He promises us that no matter what trials we face, we will not and cannot be separated from the amazing love of God!  I am clinging tightly to these realities, and I hope that these minster to you as they have me!  Good night blogland!   

He Fights For You and Me!

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The image you see is a paraphrase of Exodus 14:14.  Last night, a friend text me the verse and in truth it could not have come at a more needed time!  My mom was violently    sick from Tues to Thurs from chemo, I got the crud on Tues, my regular caregiver was on a needed vacation, and by last bight I was coming unglued.  The truth is I have given my mom's heath to the Lord on a regular basis, but I've not prayed so much about my own personal care, which with having cerebral Palsy does involve a lot.  I battle shame constantly about other people having to clean up after me.  The feelings of humiliation are at times nearly unspeakable as adult.   I keep thinking that one day I will get use to it, and while it is easier at times, I never get use to it.  I thought this morning Jesus our Savior knows what humiliation looks like.  He knows what it feels like!  He tasted it as He hung on the cross!  He did nothing to warrant such agony.  He endured it out of faith, trusting The Father to bring his plan to pass!   Sometimes we don't know all the reasons God allows things to happen in our lives, but He has promised to fight on our behalf, the problem often comes when we are too prideful to admit we need him!  I cannot change my situation, but I can humble myself and admit I need God!  Admit I need him to change my perspective, I need him to strengthen, me and fill me, up! You need the Lord to fight your battles too, you may think the battles are small enough to face on your own, but like me you will discover you can't.  But when relying upon Christ we realize our battle has already been won!  We know that we have been given a Conquer Status!  The Lord will fight for us, as He did for  Israel, the bigger question is will we chose the path of faith, and rest in him, until we see the results of victory?  I'll pray for you and you pray for me, as we rest in the One who fought the ultimate battle for us!

Christmas Can Be Yours

                                                          Via Pintrest


       Merry Christmas Blog Friends,

      This year probably more than any other, I am cherishing my Savior, and delighting myself in Jesus Christ!   I just want to remind you all that if you know the real reason for Christmas!  You have the answer!  You have everything you need if you have accepted The "Good News"   You posses the gift that last forever!  You have the light of the world in you!  You have an eternal King!  You have life after death!  You have comfort that abounds!  You have hope that deifies disappointment!  You have love that does not fail!  You have peace that unparalleled!  Merry Christmas!   Isa. 9:6 Find here     " For to us a child is born, 
   to us a son is given, 
   and the government will be on his shoulders. 
And he will be called 
   Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, 
   Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace,."
This is reason to rejoice, no matter what life brings!!!!!!

When Believing is Hard, There is Our Peace

from PinterestOn January 13th, 2011 I posted about a list of blogs topics I hoped to cover...  Find that post here  Truth be told, this has not been my most creative or productive year in blogland, but tonight I will cover one on my topic list. "When Believing Is Hard"     Normally by this time, I would have written several Christmas themed posts, but life has happened.  Let me just get this out of the way...  Yesterday it was officially confirmed that my mom has cancer for the 5th time in her life.  I won't go into major details here except to say that she will have 24 chemo for 5 days starting Tues after Christmas.    God has been preparing for me for a couple weeks now, and I'm at peace, and we are very hopeful.  I have laid my Issac on the altar, and I am surrendered until the Lord!  It has  taken a long time to get here.  Faith is choosing to trust and submit to his plan, Knowing He is loving and Good.  In first John it says there is no darkness in him at all!  Faith is saying I love You Lord, and I am yours no matter what!  Faith is I'll trust you regardless of how I feel, because You're God, and I'm not.  Am I confused? Yes!  Do I have moments where it scares me?  Yes!  Do I wonder what God is doing?   yes!  Do I wish there were some other way for God's purpose to be fulfilled?  OH SO MUCH!  But    I love the Lord, because He first loved me!  Because He lives I can face tomorrow, and if you know the Prince Of Peace, you can too!  Romans 4:20 @ www. crosswalk.com   "Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God."      Abraham knew his situation looked less than promising.  He knew the odds biologically were not favorable, but He chose trust.  Did he stumble and sin, yes, but his faith was evident.   Do we allow our trials to draw us to God our cause us to drift from him?  Wresting with belief is hard, but something God is showing me is if we have faith as a mustard seed, He will grow into something far greater.  May Romans 4:20 be true of you and me!  Thanks for your prayers for mom and my family!

No More Presents! First Christmas for 2011

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     I wish Christians me included really believed that Christmas is about celebrating and not about stuff!  Know how I know most of us say this, but rarely believe it...  Well, because the season that is suppose to be causing us to celebrate is causing most of us stress, and we entirely miss the point of it all...  We say we know it isn't about much we spend, then why we are charging things we can't afford to purchase?  Why do we book our lives with events that have little to do with who the celebration is for!  Sometimes to be honest, I wish that gift giving was not part of the deal.    Don't get me wrong I find joy in giving and getting, as much as anyone, but what if you never got another gift, you would be fine right?  Really stop and think about it.  You and I already have God with us!  We already have God IN us!  We have an unending hope!  Friday I went Christmas shopping, and while I had great time with my friend who took me shopping, I later found myself stressing over how much I should spend on who and what I should buy The gift that mattered on the shopping trip, was not the gifts I bought, but time spent with my friend who I rarely see at other times in the year!  I still don't have my mom's Christmas present, and I wish I did though her birthday presents are bought for December 15th, but as Christmas nears the clock is ticking.  Then I was reminded it's not suppose to be about us!  Jesus is to be the central focus, not only of Christmas, but of all things!          "He (meaning Christ) is before all things and in him all things hold together."  Col 3:17.  God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in Jesus Christ." See Col 3:20.    Jesus is the gift we as Christians are to celebrate forevermore.  We are to celebrate that the one who is above all became one of us.  It led him to death upon a cross, and then we celebrate not the manger, but the empty tomb.  That is the gift!  No other compares!  Do our lives point to a gift temporal value, or The gift who is THE GIFT?!  May it be more than lip service to us, but may the reality awe us to view Christmas differently and more clearly than before!     Merry Christmas!  I hope The Gift" is yours and that you honor him as such!