Saturday, June 28, 2008
Youth today are often accused of not knowing church hymns. I know I may no longer be considered young by some folks, but this hymn came to mind before I began this post. The only words I know are: "When nothing else could help love lifted me!" Let me explain... Yesterday I sat through a AAA training for 6 hours, and I did not even stay the whole time, because it began at 8:30. I got up at 8:00 to at least be there by eleven. I left feeling I could do little to help with this one event, and even though I enjoyed the people, by the time I left I was beyond worn out... I was also sad to learn that AAA can no longer stay open on Saturdays because there are not enough volunteers. This was the shift I was taking before mom's illness came about. Getting her well is of course my first priority, other than wallking with the Lord. However, I am human and by last night I was feeling pretty helpless. Helpless unable to help mom beat her cancer, helpless in serving AAA. HELPLESS to fix anything. I come from a long line of fixers. I am unable to make dishes to help those who take dishes to those in need. I know my feelings of helplessness were from satan to keep my focus off Christ. If not careful helplessness can quickly give way to depression. When there is a lack of sleep that is involved, you can count on it. This morning I woke up still feeling this way, but after giving thanks and praise to the Lord, I expressed my fear of being prone to past temptations, depression, and helplessness, and nearly an hour later God's love lifted me. It lifted me as I remembered that prayer is a verb. It is an action. Just like cooking or giving. God's love lifted me as I watched a group of fellow Christians build me a new ramp for my house. God's love lifted me, as I confessed my sin and acknowledged my pride and desire to fix it myself. As I give him my heart, he lifted me with his love! Do you need a lift? If you do, I trust his love to lift you in due time! Thank you for praying for mom, pray that God will show me how to bless her, and others, for her healing most of all, and guard me against self focused depression. Thank you!