Some chronic health problems this year, and some additional responsibilities have caused me to make sleep a priority. I actually enjoy it. It is funny when I go to sleep for the last couple of years when I fall asleep, a bulldozer couldn't awaken me I giggled when my sister in love told me my newborn niece gets mad if you wake her from sleep. Doesn't everyone I thought. My brother and I both inherited this from our mom who always taught us not to say much until we had at least been up an hour or so.
I have not met one parent who does not find joy in watching their child sleep. Partly as a result of the insanity which is referred to as parenthood. Beyond that though, there is nothing like seeing the peaceful image of a child you love sleeping safely. Sleep can be healing, but it can also cause a person like me to miss more than one alarm. Knowing how much I have cherished sleep recently, I was awed when I read Psalm 121 I would not want most people to see me sleep, because I talk in my sleep, sweat and someone told me a few years ago I snore, but I cannot confirm, nor will I. Recently I was scared. Scared of me. Scared of the feelings I felt so much so I got out my iPad and started reading my Bible. I could not get my mind off of things I’ve done in my past, or things I should have done better. I could not turn off the negative dialogue in my head. You will always struggle with that, and if people knew they would never admit to knowing you, and they would never want to be around you. How can you be her daughter, and still struggle with depression and worry? You will never be half the person she was. You know she was total opposite of who of who you are. You need to figure things out before it’s too late. You know you should do more to contribute and be more helpful. Why do you think you can’t keep caregivers, you are too picky and no one can deal with you? These were just a few of my critical thoughts gone unchecked. Since my depressive episode two years ago, I occasionally wonder, if I fail cope right, or make the wrong choice if I will end up that way again.
Then I came across Psalm 121. "He will not let you stumble;
the one who watches over you will not slumber.” 121:3-4I knew it before, you know like when, you know how to spell a word, but when you can’t believe it really is spelled correctly. This is how it was when I read these verses. I know the bible says God watches over Israel and does not slumber. How can I be sure He will watch over me, as a parent over their child? How can you? God does not change! How can you believe God is watching over you? How can we believe God when He promises not to slumber, but to be present and watchful in our lives, no matter what season we are experiencing? It is rather exciting to think God is not weary of us, and He does grow tired of our cries or joys. I dare say He is not even weary for us, in a sense, because He watches and knows the outcome of the story called life. As I read the verses, I began to recall so many ways God has and is watching over me. I asked him to help me remember He isn’t sleeping. I asked him to help me believe He is present and active in the details of my day. It is making a difference in how I think, and how I feel and hopefully how I act. How might it help you to embrace your sunsets, if you really believed He IS and has been watching over you? He isn’t just casually noticing you. He is actively protecting, forgiving, you and, loving you! He is not tired of you.
the one who watches over you will not slumber.” 121:3-4I knew it before, you know like when, you know how to spell a word, but when you can’t believe it really is spelled correctly. This is how it was when I read these verses. I know the bible says God watches over Israel and does not slumber. How can I be sure He will watch over me, as a parent over their child? How can you? God does not change! How can you believe God is watching over you? How can we believe God when He promises not to slumber, but to be present and watchful in our lives, no matter what season we are experiencing? It is rather exciting to think God is not weary of us, and He does grow tired of our cries or joys. I dare say He is not even weary for us, in a sense, because He watches and knows the outcome of the story called life. As I read the verses, I began to recall so many ways God has and is watching over me. I asked him to help me remember He isn’t sleeping. I asked him to help me believe He is present and active in the details of my day. It is making a difference in how I think, and how I feel and hopefully how I act. How might it help you to embrace your sunsets, if you really believed He IS and has been watching over you? He isn’t just casually noticing you. He is actively protecting, forgiving, you and, loving you! He is not tired of you.
Action Step: Make a list of ways God is watching over you. Ask him to help you believe He is not slumbering in any season of your life, and thank him for being your God who is great and does not sleep or leave you to handle things without his watch care. You pray for me, I will pray for you, because I want this promise to lead us toward the beautiful sunsets He has prepared for us.
