Can I surrender all?
After all the last time I asked God to help me love Him more than
anything or anyone in my life. It wasn’t long after that that when the word
cancer invaded our lives. I continued to
pray the same even as time passed and year after year mom's cancer remained and
sometimes grew larger. I watched as she placed a smile on her face as life
forced her to take early retirement. I
watched as she prayed for others, and rejoiced when they were healed. I watched her laugh when others would have
cried. The day I knew my life would
never be the same was the day I got the call cancer was found in her brain. I felt as if the air almost left my lungs
barely able to nod. I watched as her once
strong body that took care of me, was feeble and lifeless unable to raise her
head. Helpless I prayed asking God to
spare her from such agony. I begged God to let me take her place knowing I could never
fight as hard as she did. I often thought the world needed her more than it would ever need me. As she felt pain that without pain medicine would not
stop. I watched as my family’s hearts
were broken into pieces, and I powerless to do anything. Yet there was and will always be the glorious hope to come, and that quiet peace only God could give.. He gives it still. Oh the joy and fun of the legacy she gives us now in all her humanness.
Of course our church is talking a lot about surrender as we
study the Holy Spirit. What words come
to mind when asked if I have been in a place surrender where God proved
faithful? Yes, God is faithful when we
surrender our lives. Yes it scares me
what continual surrender may mean in my life.
Does it mean more discomfort? The
truth is a lady in my church and countless others who has endured more pain
than I ever will. God has never required
me to go to AFRICA to feed the poor or say goodbye to child I gave birth
to. The list is endless. Admittedly, I could not find the strength to
sing the words I surrender all the first two times, last week at church because
I was scared. God has provided
everything I need! He has given grace
beyond what I could deserve and yet there is that fear that God will command me
to do something radical, and what if I “surrender” in advance whatever that
might mean, and then I can’t find the courage to follow through? It has been hard for me to sing that song,
but harder now. I never want to commit
to sing words I can’t live out, but then it hit me I can’t surrender in my own
power. Surrender is only possible
through the supernatural enabling of God.
I cannot know what God may or may not ask of me either now or in future,
but I must trust that God knows my heart, and I desire to be faithful. He will enable me to choose to a surrendered
life. The God of the universe can handle
my failures. He has already redeemed
these anyway. So what do I have to lose?
The process of sanctification isn’t my job. It is God’s process not mine. It is by Faith like in Hebrews, that we chose
surrender not just once but continually.
Surrender does not mean we will be exempt from persecutions or
trials. Jeremiah proclaimed truth and
was faithful despite not having a happily ever after, or seeing results. Jer. 35…
America is a results driven society. I
am learning faithfulness driven by anything other than for faithfulness sake,
is not surrender. Will I be faithful if it guarantees me little upon this
earth, but coasts much more? It has been
and will continued to be my prayer for God to enable me to surrender.
Here
are some reasons to surrender. One, Jesus is worthy of surrender.
Two, He himself has surrendered to God and for the sake of his
children, and it cost him everything. Romans 8:32. A life surrendered always brings peace. , God
is good, and his ways are perfect. it is by faith, I take the first to
surrender which is an expression of willingness. I continue in a place of not knowing what the
journey of what surrender will look like.
Where do you my friend find yourself on this journey surrender? Each journey will look different. I’m sure not the poster person for surrendered
living. The more I look to the Savior the more I know it is the life I am
called to live. Would love to hear from
you. It might be that grudge you’ve been
holding for twenty years. It could be
that substance you find comfort in, or that to do list you always check off.
