Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Picture from Google images and Lodgingforvacations.com
I am home with the end of bronchitis... I feel fine, but if I talk for any period of time, I s start to cough like mad. I did not go to Choices today, but none of this is what I wish to share with you. The last few weeks, my life seems to be one roller coaster after another, and yesterday nearly every fear I have suppressed came roaring to the surface. It was not that something bad happened, in fact the potential for something good seems to be possible. Still all day yesterday, it seemed there was this dark cloud of fear and hopelessness around me. i went outside yesterday, and the breeze and the warmth of the sun, and this is what I sensed the Lord whisper into my soul! "Don't worry about tomorrow child." "Don't let the troubles of tomorrow, rob you of joy today." You would be right if you are now saying to yourself the Bible has always said this it is nothing new. I have heard it so many times, but the reality of that has brought condemnation to me not freedom. That is until yesterday... Yesterday was different, yesterday it was like a breath of fresh air. I have been so bogged down by the fear of what could be that I have missed the joy of what is. What is is that my mom is here with me. What is, is that at this moment my NEEDS are met. What is, is that, the only place my focus needs to be is upon the here and the now. What is is that Jesus has gone to prepare a place for me. There are few guarantees in this life, and that is the part that lately has shaken me. Sometimes isn't just a day at a time, sometimes it is one hour or one minute. As a person with a battle with anxiety there is nothing more bizarre or shocking to my system than living in the moment. I don't want to miss the joy of now, because of my fear of later. The Lord knows I cannot handle the what if of tomorrow, all I can take hold of and should take hold of is the what is of today! I don't want to miss the sunset moments, because there is a possibility of rain.