During
one of my mom’s many surgeries, she was forced to be left with an open wound.
The purpose of this was so that the highly dangerous infection in her leg would
be able to properly drain. This required home health nurses having to come on a
daily basis to pack her leg, so that it would properly heal without leaving a
gaping permanent hole. During this time,
it was frustrating for my mom, because it was time-consuming, uncomfortable and
required her to have to depend on someone else for her needs. Her leg had to packed for proper care. As I
thought about this, it occurred to me that this is what happens when we as
Christians experience wounds of a different kind. I realized recently how deep the wound of
rejection can be. Over years of writing
on this blog, I’ve discovered that one of the topical issues I tend to write in
one form another is rejection. This is one of my wounds. I believe that there are a couple of
unhealthy ways that I have dealt with the pain of rejection. One way is by avoiding conflict at all
costs. It's probably obvious, but this
is an unhealthy habit because it's impossible.
I've always been intrigued by the fact that Jesus never seemed to run
from conflict. Maybe the reason I am so quick to avoid conflict, is because I
know that more often than not I will not respond how Jesus did. You see, Jesus
was far from a people pleaser like me.
When Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness in matthew chapter 4, he didn't
become rattled because he knew who he was. He knew whose approval he already
had. I have a really bad habit of not
telling people when my feelings are hurt; instead I try to rationalize away the
hurt I feel, so that I can avoid conflict. It's a vicious cycle I know
that.
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Going back to the wound analogy
with my mom, I'm discovering that just as her physical wound had to be packed,
we as Christians cannot expect our wounds whatever they may be to just fade
away into the night. Without ever having surrendered to Christ to bring healing. We cannot know the supernatural power of
healing to our wounds apart from The Wound Healer Some wounds heal quicker than others. Some can
be treated with a quick apology, while others like my mom’s take time to treat
properly. In Isaiah 61 Jesus proclaims
that one of the reasons he came, was to heal the brokenhearted. As I was laying awake late the other
night, a wound came up that I continue
to push away without addressing it. I'm
sure it is because I know it will be uncomfortable. It will require my choosing
to let go and not holding on. I might have to risk losing the approval of
others and having conversations I'd rather not have. I sometimes wonder if what
attracted crowds to Jesus, was his willingness to do the hard things. If my mom had not allowed her leg to be
treated properly, then it would have left her impaired in some way. Now of
course in my mom's case, the choice seems like no choice at all. Of course, you're going to take the necessary
steps to healing. On a spiritual level though, most of us – well okay I don't
want to do the work necessary to promote healing. Sure, I want the benefits of
allowing the Lord to heal the wounds but am I willing to do the hard work to
get there? I'm learning that when we
hold our wounds near to our hearts without surrendering these to Christ, we
find ourselves impaired in different ways. “He
heals the brokenhearted” and bandages their wounds.” Ps. 147:3 Much like my mom
would have experienced, if she had chosen not to allow the time and effort it
took to accomplish the task. I realize this is kind of a psychology-based post
but that was never my intention. So I have a few questions for you, my readers:
have you experienced a type of emotional healing that only entrusting Christ
can accomplish? While I know this is a
particularly difficult topic – and I'm not asking for specifics, I'm wondering
are there pieces of advice you would give to those on the outside looking in?
If you are still waiting on, or in the process of a continual healing, built on
the foundation of Christ, what are some tools you would be willing to
share? For me, I'm learning that there
are some wounds that only Christ can heal. I'm also learning that running away
from that which I don't want to face is harmful. Sometimes what hurts us seems insignificant
to others, but how comforting it is to know that to Christ all of our wounds
are important. No matter how insignificant we may think these to be. Sometimes for me I replay different forms of
rejection, to the point that these have become an unspoken expectation of my
own. It was only as I’m beginning to
bring these to Christ, which I have discovered Christ never desired for his
children to believe or be driven by wounds of rejection. I’m not saying that I’ve faced rejection to the
degree that lots of people have, but that still does not change the fact that
God cares, or overshadow the need for God’s supernatural healing I
hope this won't be the last word on the subject. I also want to write about what it is like to
be the person inflicting the wound. I have been on both sides of the coin.
