It was happening again. A disappointment trigged the What Ifs in my mind. The lump had already formed in my throat. The all too familiar what ifs line of questioning soon changed shape into questions of how will I. Before I knew it, I wasted energy not on the current disappointment, but future predictions and assumptions based on the present. The lump in my throat, had now become a puddle off tears. In that moment, I had two choices. I could let these emotions come and pass quickly, realizing that what I was thinking and feeling was not reality. My second option, I could continue to exhaust myself with false information, and try to figure out how to solve problems before these existed. Do you have these What if’s and how will I questions too? How will you make ends meet? How will you cope with the loss of your loved ones? How will you raise that child? How will you balance work and family? Suddenly, I remembered a list of fifty-two Bible verses I printed a couple weeks before. I began to read these slowly. Once my mind was refocused on the verses I was reminded that God gives us daily provision. Meditation is a biblical concept. It an area where I could be stronger. It is not simply the practice of mediation, which impacts our minds, as popular culture might suggest, it is willfully choosing to direct our thoughts to God’s word. In this case, I discovered weapons to conquer “my what if’s and “how will I thoughts.’ A few days later, I knew I would find myself in another difficult situation where I knew I would be tempted. I clutched tightly to the list of verses, and breathed a prayer asking for sustaining grace. Clinging to scripture enables us to stay in the moment, when we are lured to speculate about our futures or linger in our pasts. “Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” Joshua 1:8 NLT
Once I began to live in the current moment, it became easier to see that as needs arise God did and would provide whatever the situation required. God desires that we rely on Him continually for our daily needs. If He met our every need in advance, we would likely cease ongoing fellowship, and abiding in God’s grace. Even, when Jesus prayed to The Father He asked, not for weekly or monthly provision, instead Jesus requested daily bread. “Give us this day our daily bread.” Matthew 6:11 AMP. The next time we feel as though our “what Ifs” and “how will I’s are closing in on us, let’s focus our attention on God’s secure promises we can and must come to our Father for today’s specific needs. Tomorrow will become today soon enough, but it isn’t our load to carry. God’s provisions will be just as sufficient tomorrow as these are today.