The Blogger Herself

The Blogger Herself

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Pulling hair out! Venting!


Warning there is no telling what this post may be about. I have been trying to send an e-mail out to over 100 people for 2 hours for my volunteer work. My email provider refuses to send the message, because it says it contains too many contacts. The ironic thing is, that only one contact has been added since the last mailing. It is an urgent prayer request that one of the volunteers/former staff asked me to send out ASAP.

It is time for the Walk For Life fundraiser and I have no clue how to involve my church in this, because there so much happening in the spring. I have been trying to meet with one of our church staff since Feb about personal matters without any family involvement which totally makes little sense now that I'm posting about it on a public blog. The truth is there are aspects of CP I hate, and I hate myself for that. I don't hate everything about in fact not even most things, but one thing I hate is the lack of control and privacy I have in my life. I hate that someone else has to know when I have to go to the bathroom, and that I can't do that by myself, but instead in that respect I am less than a toddler. I hate that the people who care for me have more control over my body than I do. I don't like to focus on these things, because it is self centered. I am healthy and for now mom is well! I am going to devote an entire entry to the wonders God has done in my life and the life of my family. For now, Lord please have mercy on me, and allow me to lay aside all the yucky stuff inside me I don't like that I cannot be left in the house alone, because there is a slim possibilty that the house might catch on fire and I cannot get out on my own. Okay all better.... Thank you all for indulging me, and my temper tantrum.