The Blogger Herself

The Blogger Herself

Friday, November 20, 2009

New, but Old Prayer


It has been a good week for me. I know I said I would post about who Lottie Moon is, but I have other things on my mind. Ps 139:23-24 HCSV. Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns."
See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way. "

This has become my prayer lately. It seems to convey the condition of my soul right now. I'm going to approach these verse in a different way than I normally would. Lately, I have been craving real intimacy. I know that sounds a little new age I guess but read on. If we are honest, we all realize that our heart's desire is to connect. I've been having these longings that I cannot really articulate. I have tried to ignore it, but I cannot. I've tried to stuff it with food, friendships, and whatever, but the longings still remain. The truth is I desire to be known. I'm terrified of connecting, but it is the very thing I crave. I'm terrified of people knowing the yucky stuff inside me. The anger the pride, the envy, the shame. Some people say they don't need to connect with God or with others, but I beg to differ. I think you need look know further than the number of Facebook accounts or Myspace accounts there are. and yes I have one too. What's my point, people are looking for connection every where Christian or not. The verse above again remind me that God knows me, totally completely. He knows the things that make me tick. He knows my sin. He knows my dreams. He knows my heart hunger as I call it. He is not surprised. He gave us the desire to connect in relationship with him and others. He provided the bridge in Jesus Christ to make this possible. So my new prayer is not a new one, but it is new for me. Knowing that God can and does know my heart, should do a couple of things. It should be a motivator for repentance. It should provide a great desire to know the Lord and point others to the one worthy of being known! So like the woman at the well, I'm relieved that Jesus knows me, and still purses me! So while it scares me the thought of my heart being searched and my concerns to be tested, it brings freedom! What are you thoughts? Do you relate?


Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

Great post sweet friend. I can so relate and I can see such a spiritual growth in you!

Praise God for young women like you who have a hunger for the Word!

Glenda, saved by grace said...

TJ , What a thought provoking post. I believe you're exactly right... So many faces on face book trying to connect with faces that mean something to them. It really is a lost and dying world in which we live. Just continue to be faithful to Gods word. I keep telling myself" God knows about facebook and can use it".
The anguish I feel while writting my blog shows my frustrations... Thanks for your prayer.
♥ Glenda

Dee said...

I do relate...I love meeting and connecting with new friends and at your age this feeling is normal. We all want to put on our best faces, be accepted, loved, and recognized for who we are at any age. I am thankful that God is able to look upon my heart and teach me, help me and love me. But I do know when he see's my heart he see's Christ in me. He would never be able to look upon Dee. Just when I feel I may have one thing corrected in my spiritual walk, something else pops up that is a weak area.:-) You are on the right thought wave. Stay in prayer asking the Lord to bring people into your life. Reach out. Hugs Dee

Molly said...

Perfectly timed post. I actually read two pieces of really sad news today on FB. One piece was from a close friend another was from a friend from a few years ago whom I have lost contact with (obviously other than in FB land.) It made me looooong for genuine connection with both of them. Because I love these 2 women, my heart ached for them, but it was so awkward to have to respond via FB about these hardships in their lives... but at the same time it's awkward when you read something to respond in person. It's a bizarre world we live in.