Are you still out there? Hope your weekend is going well! I need to tell you something, I've been avoiding posting, because well most of my posts are about growing with God, and in the past few months, I've been very unsure about where God is taking me. There have been painful moments, where I've been afraid to face this blog, my friends and even sometimes my family. I've been wresting with questions about who God is, and who I am, and well it has been a journey of some sleepless nights and tears. You see in relation to you, my readers, I know God loves and values you. I know he has a plan for your life, but somehow when it comes to looking in the mirror and seeing myself, there's a disconnect there, which has made me feel rather hypocritical. I thought how can I talk about God or write about him, when I'm struggling so much, and learning so much about the misconceptions I have had concerning God. Coupled with the thought I've failed every test of faith God has given me over the last few months. I am not some super christian, I'm just a 29 year old lady trying to figure things out who happens to know that knowing Christ has made my life worth living. So I'm going to tell you some things God is showing me, that I'm thankful for. No teaching preaching lesson. Just where I am, and maybe just maybe it will mean something to you.
- God cares about ME.
- God's plans for me are good.
- God really says I am lovable
- God does not look at me like others might
- God wants me to enjoy him. And are you ready for this, I think the God of the universe might maybe actually enjoy me... I admit that one is super hard to swallow... I know these things sound rather simple, and in fact they are so simple that I wonder if most Christians, maybe me most of all see them as nothing more than sing song phases. After all as an adult we are told to embrace more complex truths, but maybe where we go wrong is that we don't take the time to embrace the beauty that maybe simplicity is what makes things profound. What simple truths are you learning or relearning?
7 comments:
Love this & you.
I love this post, Teej. I'm so glad you're feeling better about things. That makes me very happy. It makes God happy too! You're right, He does enjoy you.
Love you,
Sandra
Your truthfulness is what people need to hear. You have come a long way in your spiritual maturity. I can relate very much to your post. I can love and I am loved and I know that...but deep down I do not let it in...God is working on that with me right now.:)
Great post. Very thoughtful and thought provoking. Thanks for sharing. Have a great weekend.
oh, how i love you my friend! I am just a 49 year old woman doing the same thing!! you are a huge blessing TJ!
Hello Angelonwheels,
What fun to hear from you. :)
Thank you so much for being honest with us here. I respect your wrestlings through with God and asking the hard questions. I have many of those myself and came out of a harder one of those in December actually. Hang in there, ask the hard questions, and know that he is listening. Wow, my latest post "When You Wonder if He Hears" sounds like it was written in response to this, but it wasn't. I wrote it before coming over here. I hear you, and yes, I agree -- he enjoys and delights in you, my friend.
Regarding your comments on my post, I enjoy summer too. How are you feeling?
Jennifer Dougan
www.jenniferdougan.com
What a delightful and transparent post. I appreciate what you shared here. For me, when I feel distant from God, is the best time to blog about Him and my struggles. Blessings.
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