The Blogger Herself

The Blogger Herself

Saturday, August 07, 2010

That's the Story of God's work in my life Part One

Hi Bloggers:

  ....   Everything is lovely right now on my end of things.  Please pray though that I will better follow through and make better use of the time God blesses me with in regards to spiritual life, and that God will show me how he desires for me to use the talents and skills he has entrusted to me. 
Over a moth ago, I interviewed for a non-profit volunteer postion here in my area, but some some services they offered went agaainst my convictions, so I declined, because it was not the right fit.  I then found out about a minstry I have followed for years has volunteer postions. https://www.thehopeline.com/ so I'm applying.  i am also still adjusting to my new chair.  Yes still.  
     My post on July 26th was about lessons in suffering, and I fully expect a part 2, but that will come another day.  Today, though I want to do something else....

I want to tell some of mny story....  2 people this week, have asked what my story is, and to be honest, most the time I doge the question like the plague, but today I'm going  to try to hit some highlights.   I don't avoid it, because it makes me uncomfortable, I avoid it, because I don't want to make others uncomfortable. One I was born in Daytona Beach FL, and though I only spent 3 years there, a part of my heart is, and will always be connected to my birthplace, maybe it is because it is a memory of safety, that I have since often searched for in days past.  I was born with Cerebral Palsy which is a neurological disorder, which in my case effects my fine motor function.  In the case of some people, it also effects cognitive reasoning skills, but the grace  of God that hasn't really been an issue for me, except with perhaps math and science, but there may or may not be a link to CP with that  Here's a bit more info on it if you would like  it   http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/cerebralpalsy.html 
Amway I have sent a big chunk of my life totally attempting to ignore my limitations or overcompensate for my shortcomings.  If I head one time growing one time growing up, your no different than anyone else I must have heard a million times in one form or another from a teacher or distant relative, and I believed and enjoyed it, and even tried to live up to such statements.  I have lots of happy childhood memories playing games with my younger brother Justin and my older counsin Bill.  My parents separated when I was three and divorced 12 years later.  When they separated we moved to TN to live  with my grandparents, where we live now.  My mom at the same time had surgery for ovarian cancer when my brother was 6 months I was three.  I was a challenge for my grandparents for 2 weeks while my had surgery in FL.  When I was 9 my dad promised to come up for my birthday weekend and also  told  me that "someday"  we would be a family again.  Neither of those events occurred, but one thing that has always given me hope and comfort even as a little girl was going to church and learning about God.  As I have told you before, I remember hearing the Gospel when I was 7, and I suppose you could say accepted in as much as one can at that age.  I had a few leg related surgeries by the time I was 9.  I missed my 5th grade school year, until the following year, because i was in a body cast because of surgery to build me a hip socket, I was not a good sport,  and my outlook at the time was horrible, the doctor said the surgery would cause me to loose mobility but would relieve my hip pain, it did both.  I had a hairline fracture in my femur bone, and ended up in a body cast for 3 additional months, I actually enjoyed some part of being in the cast because, thatmeant no movement, which also meant no physical pain and people drew pictures on my cast, my family also had fun, because they could climb all over me andI'd never feel anything.   I had a home bound teacher that year, I liked school from home a lot better, as I've always liked learning one on one.  After I recovered I took my 5 grade year over and made great friends, but when I went to middle school, I wanted to graduate with the class I began with before my surgery, so in other words, I took 5th grade twice, skipped 6th and went to seventh.  Seventh grade was hell in some ways,.  I think that is when some of my anxiety began.  I started seriously doubting my Salvation and felt very misunderstood as I guess most people do at that age.  It caused problems between my mom and I and I am sure on my brother.  I had a love hate relationship with school mostly hate.  I excelled in academics, but it was never enough for me, I kept hearing over and over "you are no different, whicvh in mind meant you'll never measure up.  You aren't special.  I had one aid who I felt was emotionally abusive, but in my way of thinking I was never to challenge athoritrty I also had one great teacher in 7th grade though, and I'm sure without I never could have made it.  As for my spiritual struggles these were the very thing that drove me to the throne of God.  I learned how to read the Bible and pray at that time, not because I was plugged into a youth camp, I'm not saying those are bad, but I sought God, one in effort to settle my salvation, and cure my loneliness, the youth group came later.  Seeking God was where I found both assurance and intimacy but this was only the begin of God's ongoing work in me
My freshman year going into high school, I had surgery on the other hip, body cast again.  This was different though, because I relied upon God's grace and sensed his peace through the agony of physical therapy.  I discover ed 2 cor. 12:9 and my outlook changed.  I'll continue later, but maybe you wonder why I shared this with you well because God has called me as his child in Isa 63 to tell of his praiseworthy acts upon my life, and how He has carried me, and sustained me, and I'm going to need to speak a shorter version of my story over time, but to get myself use to "telling" the story God created for me, I need to write it like in Hk. chapter 2.  Thank you for reading my epic entry.

3 comments:

Kelli said...

Thank you, TJ, for sharing this with me. You have an incredible story and you are an inspiriation to me! I can't wait to hear more, friend.

Dee said...

T.J. You have not been given an easy life. I so admire the way you are, at such a young age, using the adversities you deal with everyday in an open an honest way to serve the Lord. I do think the Lord has some amazing things for you in your future that will help many others facing similar struggles. I am so glad I found your blog way back when. :) You are a blessing .

Molly said...

Thanks for sharing, TJ! Can't wait to see you Friday :)