The Blogger Herself

The Blogger Herself

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Dam of darkness....

I may end up deleting this post, but for now I just gotta put it there.  I'm holding back tears.  Why you ask?  I wish I could give you a vaild reason, but I can't.  I worke up with this fear and dread that from time to time follows me.  Then I ask myself yet again.  What is wrong with me?  Even as a child and young person I have battled these feelings of crushing fear and sadness that seem to come out of the blue.  It does not matter how much I pray or sing hymns or read the Bible at some point it always comes back, and I'm forced to deal with it yet again, most the time only for a few days, but my most severe episode was 2004 in September.  I try not to dwell on it, but there is always fear that I'm just a few steps away.  Before you think I'm not stable, with Christ I know I am, and I find joy in helping others in many crisis.    I'm tired today, and of all weeks for the title wave to hit me I have so much to do.  My body and mind are fightting a battle alll it's own.    So my question I guess I pose to you is: Has there been a battle throughout your life that few people understand?  How do you deal? What role does your faith have in fighting the struggle?    If you want to share, Here are listening ears and open heart.  I am going to curl up in bed for a bit and sleep, and hopfully I'll have something encouraging to share when I return.

3 comments:

Victoria said...

God is in control all the time. Sometimes I ask God why he allows these hardships to happen. He allows them, so that they strengthen our faith. It's easy to have faith when everything is going well. Also Faith is a part of Trust and you need to trust God with this problem. Once you trust him, it may still be hard, but it's God's problem now. The hard part is willingly giving it to him with no strings attach and forget about it. I hope this comment helps you.
Victoria

Molly said...

How you doin' 24 hours later, friend?
Any relief?

Casey said...

I would love to share with you the extent of my battles during this last year. Hopefully we can meet sometime!