Between Yesterday and Today....Blah...

Today I feel like I wish I had just stayed in bed and slept all day. Maybe, it is the nightmare I had that my Mom's cancer came back, and woke up with this sense of doom in my gut. Maybe it is the sore throat I woke up with. Maybe it is because I lashed out @ mom, for no reason, and feel tired, but can give no justifiable reason for the ongoing worn out state I have seen on and off in the last three weeks. Maybe it is because my home health could not come because of flooding. I am angry at myself, because I'm so blessed, and others are facing such suffering, and I'm so selfish. Mostly what I don't get is how yesterday I could feel so well, but there is such a vast difference between yesterday and today! Sometimes I feel like such a hypocrite, but I have to trust that God understands me, and will forgive me for today, and be thankful that tomorrow will come!

Was I dreaming???

It actually snowed in Chatt Town today! Snow almost never happens here, so when it does it is a BIG deal! These are photos shots outside our house, but the ones of kids are at my aunt's house, she e-mailed those today. It has been a more hectic week for me, so I was worn out last night. I went to bed @ 10:30, which I never do, and I took a nap 2 hours today! It was a treat to wake up to snow and homemade hot coca! I feel well rested for the first time this week, What a blessing!

1 year Photo shoot!!New pics added 12/2/09

T.J.'S BED is comfy!

I don't wanna wear the santa, but I'll eat it!

Above begins her basic one year photo shoot!

This was Macy last Christmas when Justin first got her...

Every day or every year?

Spring of 09'

Hi

Above you see a picture of my mom, which you may have seen before.... My mom has been my earthly rock since before I can recall. She is funny, strong, stubborn, fun, loving, wonderful talented and much more. She has battled cancer 3 times and by God's grace is now in remission. I am thankful to all of you who have prayed for her, and who still are!

I know the Bible says God alone is our rock, and this is so true, but I think sometimes he sends earthly things and people so that we can have physical blessings to give us a small glimpse of his reflection. not a perfect one, but a real one. I'm so thankful that God has spared my mom from cancer not once, but multiple times. Her life is so connected to mine, and mine so connected to hers that it is sometimes scary. I am still learning through all this that God alone is my source. I'm not saying I'm the perfect example of how to give thanks far from it. I am also not saying we have the model relationship either, in many ways we are different, in many ways we are the same. I would like to say I have not taken her for granted but I have. I often live in a world of black and white, hot or cold and place unrealistic expectations on the people I love most. I am thankful for the time God continues to give me with mom, and I pray I'll never forget how blessed I am for every day she is on this earth. You truly never grasp the value of a person, until you are confronted with the painful thought of a life without them.

I know tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and of course I will be giving thanks for so many things, but I know as a christian, That real Thanks giving isn't a yearly occurrence, but rather a year round practice. For example, every Thursday my friend Molly has what she calls Thankful Thursday on her blog, and I know others do as well. I would love to be able to tell you that I've been thankful, or that I exhibited thankfulness every day this year so far, but I have not. I was not always thankful last August and through October as I watched my mom so sick. I was not thankful as we begin the journey again last June. I will say though that while daily Thanksgiving is an odd concept for some it is something that has been instilled in me, as though it were second nature, and with God's help, I strive to be one who is a regular Thanksgiver!!! Ps. 116:12 "How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me?" The answer is: I cant, however I can live my life in a way that is a living sacrifice to God, in the good times and bad. I can choose to get up when I fail him. I began this post talking about my mom, because she has provided me with the example that Thankfulness isn't a time you set aside to attend every year, but it flows out of the heart on a regular basis! Mom if you read this thank you and I love you!

HOPE THIS LINK MINSTERS TO YOU!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvnTtPdN7W0

Please watch this! I'll come back soon!

New, but Old Prayer

Hi,

It has been a good week for me. I know I said I would post about who Lottie Moon is, but I have other things on my mind. Ps 139:23-24http://www.biblegateway.com/ HCSV. Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns."
See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way. "

This has become my prayer lately. It seems to convey the condition of my soul right now. I'm going to approach these verse in a different way than I normally would. Lately, I have been craving real intimacy. I know that sounds a little new age I guess but read on. If we are honest, we all realize that our heart's desire is to connect. I've been having these longings that I cannot really articulate. I have tried to ignore it, but I cannot. I've tried to stuff it with food, friendships, and whatever, but the longings still remain. The truth is I desire to be known. I'm terrified of connecting, but it is the very thing I crave. I'm terrified of people knowing the yucky stuff inside me. The anger the pride, the envy, the shame. Some people say they don't need to connect with God or with others, but I beg to differ. I think you need look know further than the number of Facebook accounts or Myspace accounts there are. and yes I have one too. What's my point, people are looking for connection every where Christian or not. The verse above again remind me that God knows me, totally completely. He knows the things that make me tick. He knows my sin. He knows my dreams. He knows my heart hunger as I call it. He is not surprised. He gave us the desire to connect in relationship with him and others. He provided the bridge in Jesus Christ to make this possible. So my new prayer is not a new one, but it is new for me. Knowing that God can and does know my heart, should do a couple of things. It should be a motivator for repentance. It should provide a great desire to know the Lord and point others to the one worthy of being known! So like the woman at the well, I'm relieved that Jesus knows me, and still purses me! So while it scares me the thought of my heart being searched and my concerns to be tested, it brings freedom! What are you thoughts? Do you relate?

All for Missions event!- Who the Heck is Lottie Moon?

Everyone loved this gift bag hand painted by my mom! Isn't she talented?!

This year a large bakery was added to raise funds.

Normally I'm BIG on putting up Christmas trees until after Thanksgiving, but it is a Christmas missions auction.

My Mom's Hand painted gift bags for our churches Lottie Moon Christmas Missions Auction. All money goes to Southern Baptists missions program. I'll post more about who Lottie Moon is later.... She was a woman who had a heart for sharing the gospel, and challeged southern Baptists in international mission efforts. I have a cold right so this will be a quick post.

Truly Blessed!

Hi bloggers:

Hope all is well your way! I am enjoying your blogs! I have many things I could blog about today, it is hard to choose which ones to cover in this post. Thank you for those who have lifted me in prayer, it is a joy to see the faithfulness of God daily. As Thanksgiving draws near in a national sense, I'm reminded of how thankful I am for so many blessings in my life. The greatest of those blessings is the Salvation God provided for me through his Son Jesus Christ! I found myself overwhelmed today by the fact that God offered his perfect Holy Son in my place on the cross. He shed his blood, even to death, that I might taste and live in the wonder and joy of being forgiven by God! www.crosswalk.com Romans 4:7-8 Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him. I am reminded today that we who are covered by the Holy blood of Christ are truly blessed beyond grasp, If you are standing in a right relationship with God, then it is putting it ever so mildly to say we are blessed! I have done nothing to deserve such blessing, but God gladly offers it to me because He is God, and He loves me! He offers you the same! Romans 4:21 .
"being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised". As Christians we can rest upon the promise that God's grace is enough to pay for and remove our sin. In the same way, that Abraham was fully convinced that God would give him a son to fulfill the promise, even though from the human point of view it was impossible. Christ has the power and authority to forgive us, and give us the eternal life He has promised! My pastor said once that if God never offered us another blessing, than our Salvation is enough! What a wonderful reality this is, if only our lives reflected it. Romans: 5:1 "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is the only path to forgiveness and right standing with God. He invites us to trust him through a step of faith. God offers us the gift of Salvation as well as faith. If we know the gift of salvation, we are truly blessed, and we can celebrate and declare the gift we have, and invite others to embrace the gift too of both forgiveness and faith. I'm so thankful that Christ in amazing love and grace, has given me victory in this life, and the promise of everlasting life to come! Thanks for sharing in my joy, I know many of you know personally of this blessing, and can write about it in regard to your own lives!

The love of two brothers!

My cousin Brady who is 3 spent the night with us last night, and then later today his dad brought over his little brother Jackson who is 6 months, These boys have such love and affection for each other now, and it is the most tender thing to witness! I pray on a regular basis that these boys will have a close relationship with each other throughout their lives. It would bring such joy to me, as I know how difficult sibling relationships can over time become, as age and life begin to take a toll. Enjoy these pictures of "Brotherly Love"

BUCKET LIST

Bucket List
Hit forward and place an X by all the things you've done and remove theXfrom the ones you have not, and send it to your friends (including me).This is for your Entire Life! ( ) Shot a gun() Gone on a blind date( ) Skipped school() Watched someone die( ) Been to Canada( ) Been to Alaska( ) Been to Cuba( ) Been to Europe( ) Been to Las Vegas
() Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida() Been on a plane ( ) Been on a Cruise Ship
( ) Served on a Jury(x) Been lost (both literally and figuratively)
() Been on the opposite side of the country
() want to Gone to Washington,DC
(X) Swam in the Ocean(X) Cried yourself to sleep
( x ) Played Cops and Robbers
(X) Played Cowboys and Indians(X) Recently colored with crayons
() Sang Karaoke (not yet..)
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only
() Made prank phone calls
() Laughed until some beverage came out of your nose() Caught a snowflake on your tongue( ) Danced in the rain(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus() Been kissed under the mistletoe() Watched the sunrise with someone(X) Blown bubbles( ) Gone ice skating() Gone skiing () Camped out under the stars(X ) Seen something so beautiful that it took your breath away() Are or have been married
() Have children (x sorta ) Have a pet
( ) Been skinny dipping outdoors(X) Been fishing(X) Been boating()Been water skiing
(X) Laughed so hard you wet your pants - you have no idea(X) Been hiking() Been camping in a trailer/RV
( ) Flown in a small 4-seater airplane( ) Flown in a glider ( ) Been flying in a helicoptor( ) Been flying in a hot air balloon( ) Been bunge-jumping
( Gone to a drive-in movie (X) Done something that should have killed you(X) Done something that you will regret for the rest of your life ( ) Been to Africa(X) Ever eaten just cookies for dinner
() Ever been on TV –
( ) Ever steal any traffic signs() Ever been in a car accident
Have a nickname? T` TeejMother's name? Madeline Favorite drink? Iced Tea or Cherry coke(X) Body piercing? Not now( ) Tattoos? How much do you love your job? On a scale 1 (low) to 10 (high) 10!!! does it count as a job, if you don't get paid.
Do you drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle?
Favorite number? 29, 18,Favorite movie? The latest is the Propasal Favorite holiday? EasterFavorite dessert? Mumzie's yummy choclate cake!Where do you see yourself in 10 years? I hope Jesus comes before thenFurthest place you will send this message? Don't knowWho will respond to this the fastest? ??=

Refusing to stay stuck

Hello,

Hope you all are well. I hope you enjoyed the pictures from our small town trip. I have had a bacterial infection similar to a UTI for more than a week, and am on 500 mg of kefleex for three weeks. I have this friend/volunteer boss Molly who reads me blog, and she is sweet and supportive, and yet, She has something I have very little of.... What is that? She has a Backbone, and I mean that as a compliment. I run from conflict, like the plague. If my feelings are hurt, I do what is called stuffing, and it is not the taste good kind. If I am mad or my veiws are disregarded, I stay quiet, or just assume I should have never said anything, At times, it is the worst feeling in the world to want to speak up, and say hey I'm not okay with this, but the moment you do, your guilt tank kicks in, whether it needs to or not. It's like excuse my graphic picture, but when you have to pee so bad you think you will brust, but there is no place to go, so you hold it until there no possible way you can hold it anymore, in other words, your stuck... Your stuck unless you use whatever resources you have. At that point, you can no longer focus on how unfair the situation is just have to find a quick solution to your delima, you cannot stay stuck, you have to make a choice for better or worse. You can't look back, and replay the choice over in your mind, wondering if it is the right one. I am a lousy decision maker. I have trouble with even the smallest choices. I hold on to things, and memories even if I don't talk about them. I never really seem to let things go, even if on the outside it seems I do. But the Bible says: Phil. 3:14 says: www. Biblegateway.com Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. This is an important message to people like me who are stuck in or defined by their past mistakes, My mom always says don't worry about the past, because you cannot change it. I hate when she tells me that, because one it's hard to do, but also because it is such a painful truth. The freedom comes when we know that while we cannot change our past, we can learn from it. Paul had a painful guilt filled past, but somehow with God's love and forgiveness. he found freedom to forgive himself, and move on. He found victory! Lord I don't want to be stuck anymore. I''m choosing to forget, now please help me not remember. I'm ready to forgive myself, willing to forgive myself, to be used you. So, do you want to forgot, in order to take hold of Christ. If so, we are on the journey to begin again together

Small Town Trip Pics

Jellico TN. town were my mom and grandparents grew up

We stayed in Williamsburg Inn hotel in KY. About 25 miles from their hometown. Lovely hotel Family friend who live near by

Me very tired....

Family

My grandmother "Mumzie" we came because she was being honored by her high schoool class of 1949

Bill, Jackson,- 6 Months, Brady 3 Yrs, Jocelyn, 4 Years.

Jackson again

Jellico High school Audtioum



I was not feeling well, but it was still a good trip.

Cute ducks at the local park.

Fall leaves are ahead of us by a couple weeks

More than a book!

It is Not Just a Book
By: T.J. Ellis
September 1, 2008


It is more than book of fairytales or fables.
It is more than just a bestseller upon a bookstore shelf
It’s not just historical record or point of debate
It’s not a mere legend, as many might say.
It’s not just another book full of opinions written by noble people.
It is the Word of Life!
It is divine it is flawless.
It will stand the test time!
It provides hope to the weary soul.
Only these words can refresh hearts grown cold.
It does not sway with the way the wind blows.
It brings rebuke to the wicked, and comfort to mourners.
It contains the Good News!
It crosses racial barriers and political views.
No other book has such saving power.
Never have there been such words of hope in such a dark hour!

Celebration & Delight filled living Part 1

Hello,

Glad you all enjoyed the freckled Lemonade post! Good news my mom got her drain tube out on Friday, and right now they don't believe she will be needing additional surgery! Thank you for your prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please praise God with us!!!!!!!!!! She will return to work for a few days on Wed before fall break begins!

I know I have made mention of the word delight before, but think about the word for a minute. We have discovered that God delights in us, but what about us, where are we to find our delight? I don't know about you, but I often find fleeting delight in food, desserts movies, and relationships. I say fleeting because it never last. www.dictonary.com defines delight this way: a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture. Honest confession from me, I have not been delighting in the Lord as much as I have been other things. I want to delight in the Lord, he alone can satisfy. So my question to you readers is what are some ways that you delight in the Lord? What does the phrase delight in the Lord mean to you? For you what does that look like? How do you make the Lord your delight? Ps. 37:4 " Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." I only want to focus this post on the first of the verse to start with, because I believe it is the foundation for the rest of the verse. I pray I learn to delight more deeply in the Lord. Thank you in advance for your responses! God is indeed so good!

Freckled Lemonade in honor of Dee!

Here it is...

This is supposedly The Red Robin Recpie, but I do not make that claim. It is really yummy @ Red Robin, I'll try to post the link another day!

Red Robin Freckled Lemonade

1/3 Cup frozen sweetened sliced strawberries, thawed1 Cup lemonadeCrushed iceGarnishLemon wedgeFill a 16 ounce glass with ice. Spoon strawberries with syrup over the top of the ice.Fiill the glass with lemonade.Add a lemon wedge and serve with a straw.Freckled Lemonade by the PitcherAdding sliced fresh stawberries and/or a few slices of lemon to the pitcher is a nice touch.2 Quarts Minute Maid Lemonade2 Cups frozen sweetened sliced strawberries, thawed Crushed ice1 Cup sliced fresh strawberries (optional)Lemon Slices (optional).To make by the pitcher (2 quarts): Add thawed strawberries and syrup into pitcher. Add crushed and sliced fresh strawberries, if using, to pitcher. Add crushed ice and gently stir in lemonade

Just a fun filled day!

Hi,

Today mom and I went a got our flu shots then we went clothes shopping and then got a snack @ the food court at the mall, went shopping some more. I got a nice top, and a cute brown sweater! I love sweaters! Mom visted the book story though I didn't go in because I know I could never resist buying something. We then met Jenn & Michelle @ Red Robin, there I ate my favorite chicken Tortila soup, and drank freckled lemonade! I noticed today how much weight mom has lost, but I also noticed how well she is doing, and how much fun she is having! I can hardly believe she will go back to work to a new job soon. Thank you for all your prayers! They are still keeping a close on things, but God is so Good!

Yes, there is still a writer inside me

I Saw Your Love
By: T.J. Ellis
September 27, 2009


I saw your love today as the wind blew across my face.
I heard your love in the melody that came as a soft whisper.
I touched your love as I witnessed the smile on a child’s face.
I saw your love through the beautiful sunshine.
I heard your love through the advice of a stranger.
I touched your love as I touched your creation.
I saw your love in the stroke of a paint brush.
I heard your love in the stillness of night.
I touched your love as I smelled the roses.
I heard your love in the form of laughter so sweet
I touched your love through the touch of human flesh.
I saw your love printed as a declaration, in words of red.
I heard your love through the singing of birds.
I touched your love, as I held a tiny sliver cross.
I saw your love through the kindness of a young man.
I heard your love through a simple prayer.
I touched your love as I touched the edge of grace!

Sweet truth!

Hi Bloggers:

Hope you are doing well! I'm having a good day! I am very glad it is suppose to be sunny tomorrow, it has rained for 2 weeks in Chattanooga TN, but thankfully we have had no major flood damage at our house. I am trying to catch up on your blogs. This past week was rather busy for me with AAA two days a week, 4 birthdays, visting with my cousin Jocelyn who is going to be at DisneyWorld for her fourth Birthday this Wed.
There is a lot I want to write about, but I don't have time right now, just wanted to say hello!
I am just going to quicky tell you that God reminded me recently that He can handle me! I know that sounds funny, but you know how sometimes we can be afraid of letting people know us for fear that if they really knew us they would run away? I have been feeling that way a lot, and it was so freeing to sense God saying Teej you can't scare me away. I'm not going anywhere. I love you! I accept you! What freedom there is in that truth.

Movie, Elvis's Brother, and God is there!

Hi Readers:



Hope you had a great weekend! I have had one of the best weekends in awhile. Yesterday I went to see Julie & Julia the movie! It was very good, I admit I really didn't expect to like it, because I am not into cooking, but it was funny, and contained a modern day love story as well! It also tells a story of a blog, by an every day woman! Then, today I was able to go to church for the first time in a month. We had a guest Evangelist for our church rally day. His name is Rick Stanley and he is the brother of Elvis Presley! He has amazing testimony! He a very humble man! It was truly a treat to hear what only God could do in his life!



Speaking of God doing a work.... God is teaching me a lot right now, but it is hard to process much less to write about at this point. I am sure you are familiar with the lyrics "All I have in your Lord, is more than enough for all of me! (SONG MORE THAN ENOUGH) It isn't until we are called to truly lay down our comforts and false idols, that we ever really know that the God we talk about really is more than enough. Sometimes we willingly offer our idols, while other times we find that in those moments when are too weak to surrender, and so God does a kind of stripping away of our safety net, which then causes us to honestly explore the question, Lord are you really? Can I really trust you with everything? In the past 2 years God has stripped away most of my false safety nets. Actually, he first removed my false sense of worth as an over achiever student 5 years ago, Then, he removed not just one but 3 friends who made me feel safe and loved. Then He removed my mom's health, not once, but twice. I still wait for healing in my relationship with a family member, and there seems to be no end to the strain in sight. God is the one who gives and the one who takes away. I will admit I wrestle with anger for the taking away part, but as I work through this, I am reminded that He Jesus is the source of everything! He has never owed me anything, and everything I have comes from his hand! Everything I'm given has been entrusted to me, based on nothing I deserve. He is the hope that does not disappoint the friend that never leaves. The refuge that does not crumble! The Father who does not ignore! Mary told Jesus that if He had been there, her brother would not have died, but Mary quickly saw that for the glory of God, Jesus waited and came at just the right time. Maybe like me you wonder what God is doing, or you may you think, God where were you when my child or friend died or moved away? Maybe your question is where where you God when my marriage fell apart? Where were you when my job fell through? Where where you when I was hurt so bad? Jesus was there. Yes, we wonder why an all powerful God would just be there waiting, instead of acting, but Jesus is there to minster even as the questions come, even as we wonder and prayerfully wait. He is with us even though.... The victory is ours, the comfort is ours, The hope is ours! The glory is His!

Relational Savior & Prayer Requests

Hi Bloggers:

I cannot begin to thank you enough for your encouraging comments in response to my last post! Thank you for such compassionate and truth filled responses. God has been answering your prayers. Speaking of prayers would you join me in praying for a couple of families?

1. Please pray for my cousins: Chris, Christy, and Trey. These siblings just lost their mother very unexpectedly. The funeral is tomorrow. They live in Cochran GA. Trey is in college and today is his birthday. Both Chris and Christy have spouses of their own, as well as 5 children if you count the grandchildren. Please pray for comfort and peace as they sort through all this.
2. Please pray for Beth-OneBlessedNana- A blogger and pastor's wife whose church is under spiritual attack. Please also pray for her and her family, that God will protect them and bless them.
3. Please pray for Sandra my friend who has endured Chronic pain who was preparing for major surgery, but it had to be put off, because she has shingles for the 3rd time.
Thank you so much!

I hope you all are having a great Labor Day! I was thinking today, how great it is to have a Savior who is relational! He became one of us, so that one day, we could be like him! He faced loneliness and sorrow, injustice and rejection. Jesus understands! He overcome death for us! www. bibleresources.com Heb. 2:18 "For since He Himself was tested and has suffered, He is able to help those who are tested.
Wherever we are on the road of life, Jesus understands! Your responses and prayers inspired this post!