I'm SO Excited, and I Just Wont Hide it! Part 1

                           

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Have you ever had a season in life where you were just bursting to make a big announcement, like you have something you are just itching to tell something to someone and then as your excitement builds, and you finally do tell the big news, you are disappointed by the lack of excitement expressed by the person receiving the news?  I get excited pretty easily.  I'm not the type of person who finds it easy it to conceal my joy or my sadness.    So often when I share my excitement, people are like okay that's great, but can we move on now?  If you go back a couple posts before my last one, you will see that I have been on a journey in my own faith walk to discover and embrace the compassionate nature of God.  I have to be honest, a few months ago, I would not have claimed that compassion of God was a concept that entered my mind too often, at least, not in the context of God desiring to show me compassion.  However. for some time now, every verse I read brings me back to God's own kindness towards me AND YOU.  I suspect strongly that many people might say this concept excites me too much, but this is one time I'll say I beg to differ.  When you have wrested with doubts, and believed that God is distant and uninterested in you and the details of your life, then the promise of God's compassionate and merciful hand is like fireworks on the fourth of July or water in the desert.  When we see that God forgives us and willingly offered to forgive us by paying our sin debt because He loves and values us, it changes the way we relate to God.  Maybe I should write it this way, it has changed how I relate to God.    Are you trusting what others have shown you or told you about God, or are you inviting God to show you who He is?  Do you run or hide from the compassion and forgiveness of God or do you receive it with gladness and a thankful heart?  Friends I hope with all my heart, that you are able to dwell in the wonder of God's love, forgiveness and acceptance of you.  There is so much in this to be excited about.  As wonderful as it will be to spend eternity with God as believers, we don't have to wait to experience so many of the amazing benefits of living eternal life right now.  There is more than the future promise of heaven, there is the unshakable reality of God's comfort, compassion and forgiveness NOW.  It does not mean we won't have pain, now or conflict now or questions now, but we can endure these things, if we believe that God cares about us.  that we are safe, and forgiven!  So tell me what has rocked your world lately?  What has the world accused you of being too excited about?  Or maybe you need to get excited about how blessed we,- you and I actually are!
Blessed is the one
    whose transgressions are forgiven,
    whose sins are covered.
² Blessed is the one
    whose sin the Lord does not count against them
    and in whose spirit is no deceit. Ps. 32:1-2  Text found here
   

As if this were not enough for me to be excited about I was nominated for a local award called the Susan Ritzhaupt Award given to people with physical disabilities who do volunteer work.  Such an honor so humbled.  I never had any desire or plans to be a disability poster girl, but I'm so blessed God is good!  For those of you who pray for my mom regarding her cancer trial, she has had only some very slight growth, and does very well with all she has been through,  We are both on the mend now.  Her iron is pretty low, so that will be watched closely.  I loved our vacation to the beach It was like heaven to me!  Pictures should be posted in entry soon.    Thanks for your comments, I value these....     

Where Am I?

Just wanted to touch base and say I have not abandoned the blog world...  I have been battling illness since we came back from vacation, and haven't been functioning too well.  I assure you I have more content coming!  Thanks for sticking with me!  I'll be back with you soon....

My New Friend Hannah!

Please allow me to introduce you to my new friend Hannah.  Hannah and I hit it off instantly.  We didn't meet in the mall at the grocery store. We didn't meet in a class. Oh Hannah and I had crossed paths several times, but it was only recently that we had a very personal encounter together.  Can you guess where I found Hannah?  I found Hannah in the pages of 1 Sam. 1:1-19  See Text.

 I never really imagined that we would have that much in common: but my heart connected with her on a level that I never expected. I will post the Scriptures for you so that you can read her story – well really God's story through her. Since it is rather lengthy though, I thought I would share her story through my own eyes with you. You may find elements or details of her story, which impact you differently than it did me. If this is the case, that's okay.  Let me know your thoughts.I sense that there may be some overlap in our impressions.  You see, Hannah had battled years of infertility. This is difficult enough, in our own culture today. However, in Hannah’s time: the inability to conceive a child was like wearing a badge of shame across one's chest.  To make matters worse, Scriptures is quick to tell us that Hannah's heart's desire was to have a child.  She found herself going to  God’s House, and earnestly crying out to God to grant her desire. I gather from Scripture, Hannah’s soul was becoming embittered.  I wonder if she stayed awake at night wondering what made the other women more worthy of having a child than she was. I wonder if there were nights, that it put a wedge between her and the God she worshiped. Then There was Hannah’s foe that provoked her on her regular basis regarding her inability to conceive.  This wasn’t a one  time deal, this was something Hannah faced year after year.  How unfair does that seem to you?  From where I sit that seems pretty unfair to me. In fact, the very idea makes my blood boil.  I'm reminded though,   that   based on later events, the taunts did not go unnoticed by God.  I don't think that God's children being ridiculed whether in minor, form or major form, is something God takes lightly.  Can you imagine the baggage her rival may have carried to need to provoke Hannah so much?   Life isn't fair on earth, sometimes it is better than fair, and sometimes it is nowhere close.  One day I believe all the unfairness of life, will make sense to us when we are able to see things from God’s perspective. Isa.  55-9

The priest, who was on duty there at the time, accused Hannah of being drunk, because she was praying so intently in such a distraught state of mind.  I smile because it kind of reminds me of the time I burnt the top of our fish tank, because I wasn't watching the candle that was sitting there as I went down my prayer list.  Don't you know that Hannah's priest likely felt so small, as a result of his assumption?   I can't be too hard on Eli, because I see him in the mirror many times staring me in the face. How many times, do I reflect that attitude of being quick to assume something without knowing all the factors involved in the situation? Can you relate? Sometimes I bet we are all like the priest Hannah encountered.  Hannah's husband, though I have no reason to believe that he didn't love her dearly; put salt in her wound by placing a guilt trip on her. He challenged whether or not, he was sufficient to satisfy her instead of her longing for a child.   Though, I suspect his rash response was brought on, by his inability to fix the problem for her, it probably wasn't the best form of encouragement to her at that time.  In short, Hannah asked God for a son, and promised that if he would answer her prayer,  she vowed to dedicate her son to the Lord for his entire life. This wasn't just a formality to her. This would mean she would give up all rights to this child as in she would only see him for short periods of time, and he would not live under the same roof with her. She would not get to develop the routine of seeing his milestones after a certain age.  It's interesting to me, that Scripture later says that after she had an intimate time of being in the presence of the Lord talking with him and pouring her heart out to him, she was no longer downcast.  Nothing that I can see in Scripture guarantees at that point in time that Hannah would get her prayer answered exactly the way she wanted it.  It makes a powerful statement to me that it must have been the act of pouring her heart out to God and sensing his care and awareness that lifted her burden. It wasn't immediately getting her desired outcome, which blessed Hannah the most.  It had to be her trust in the fact that her thoughts and feelings mattered to God.  I can imagine the relief she felt knowing that she was heard.   It was the same relief and hope God extended to me as her story reflected the condition of my own own heart over mattes in my own life.  How it must have done her heart good to know that she had the attention of the Almighty God!  How it must have ministered to her to know that God did not dismiss her sorrow or ignore her plea. Prayer doesn't always result in the changing of our circumstances, but it almost always invites us to a change in perspective! Hannah's story is one that recently resonated with my heart in so many ways.  Hannah got her happy ending, but even if she had not, I believe that based on her character and her willingness to be obedient to God: she would have remained faithful and stayed close to her God!  I hope the same is true of us!  These were powerful revelations for me!it is my hope that they will be both a comfort and a challenge to you.  

God Uses Dogs As Teachers

I'm not sure why, but at times for most of my life I've had seasons where I have struggled to embrace joy in my life.  I have a life filled with blessings there is not question about that.  Fall contains, well in reality September sometimes causes painful memories to resurface in my mind.  I recently was reminded of God's compassion in a fresh new way, and I giggled at the timing.  My brother's dog Macy dives regularly in my lap to give me love and affection,  She is a sweet slightly over sized Golden Retriever!  She is tender, gentle, playful, and sometimes gets in a bit of trouble.   She is loyal, affectionate, and I'm convinced she adores me, and I'm not the least bit humble about it.  It is kind of sad that if she comes to me, I often stop whatever I am doing, and fix my eyes on her!  I do  fuss at her when she does things she should not do, but I love her dearly.  Her adorable brown eyes capture me in an instant.  I love her more than I ever expected to!  She listens better than some people do!  I would not dream of neglecting her much less, refusing her love and affection.  It occurs to me that I am willing to receive and give such love to one of God's creature's how much more should I be willing to accept and offer  love to the God who freely loves me?  I don't ask Macy why she loves me, partly because she can't answer me, but also because I'm simply enjoying her love and compassionate nature.  What if I approached and received God's love and compassion in a similar way?  Before you dare to think, that I'm comparing a lowly creature with God I'm not.  I know that God is strong, powerful, just, and King Of Kings and Lord of Lords.  I also know it is very easy for me to discount or overlook God's compassion towards me.  That is until I came across Isa. 30:18 which has given me joy repeatedly in recent days!     " Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
    therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
    Blessed are all who wait for him!" Isa. 30:18 NIV

  "You gave me life and faithful love,
and Your care has guarded my life" HCSB Job 10:12  

    Do you tend to lean toward one of God's character traits over others?  What helps you stay balanced?  What helps you to remember that God is both just and compassionate in his nature?  Do you celebrate one, but shy away from the other?  If so I understand your struggle as it is mine as well.  I want to have a more balanced view of God, and for now, he is using one of his beloved creations to help me do just that! God has and is the perfect balance!

Do You Bite?

I'm guessing I was probably six or seven years old when the vacuum cleaner incident happened. My cousin who is four years older than me as asked  to see the vacuum cleaner, which I at the time was  playing with.  When I refused to give it to him, he yanked it out of my hand. It was then that I proceeded, to use my greatest weapon at the time. I took a big  chunk out of his skin. Yes, you read that right.  I was at one time a world-class biter :-)  I clearly remember my mom asking me why I had  bitten my cousin. I was even more surprised that he hadn't chosen to bite me back. The only thing I can figure, is I had caught him off guard. I don't remember what my punishment was, but I'm quite sure it was a long time before I chose to bite anyone.    I may have outgrown my  biting others habits, but admittedly I do bite my lip when I am nervous.   I would dare say most of us outgrow our physical biting tendency eventually.  While we may not go around biting people in the traditional sense that children often do, biting often takes a another form as adults.  We don't often think about how we verbally bite those around us, but it is a reality nonetheless.  I am a big words person, as hopefully you've noticed.    The majority of the time, I hope that I am a person who chooses her words carefully, but all have our moments right?  Words that may seem harmless, when  coated in sarcasm, can hurt, even when this is not the intention.  I love sarcasm when it is playful, but there is a line between playful and harmful.    Have you ever been on the receiving end of biting words? Have you found yourself being the one who's doing the biting? Maybe your biting simply to retaliate or fight back against someone who has verbally bitten you.  The reality about physical biting is, we hopefully outgrow that habit.  Biting  with words is a much harder habit to break.    Even in moments of anger, the words of Jesus were seasoned with truth  and gracious tones.  As a blogger and writer, I love the fact words have power!    The world vastly underestimates the power of words and tone.  I am learning that just because our words and tones may be acceptable to others, it does not mean that our words are  pleasing to the Lord's ears.  What are some ways you offer words of life to those around you, instead of words that bite and tear others down?    The more I live, the more I am discovering that you can correct in kindness or disagree in a loving way without biting.  The hard thing about biting words is that leave a mark on the memory and the heart, but the world around us tells us that we must accept biting words as the normal way.  We live in a society that has bought into the absurd idea that we are are unaffected and unaccountable for the words we say.  I have said my share of critical words, so I am not the example to follow, but Jesus is.  Jesus proves it is possible to speak bold truth without biting.    Do our words exalt others or tear them down? Do our words bring healing and change, or hurt and confusion.  Do our words offer help or are those words dripping with criticism just below the surface?         In the heat of intense moments biting and callous words are a  strong tendency, and that  is when I have found prayer is so often a lifeline.   Here are some ways I find helpful when I find myself biting others with words or being  stung by biting words.

• Were the words given with the intention of biting, or were those words just poorly delivered either by me or to me?  
• If these were biting words attempt  find the reason or source behind it.        
• Repent when I am the biter , when I am being bitten/vent feelings and thoughts to God, and in journal. .
• Stay focused on the moment, not situations of the past.  
• Don't harbor it/if the matter can't be confronted/ Pray and ask God to enable moving on.   

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."  Eph. 4:29

"But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken." Mt. 12:36  Text taken from here

My Heart Wide Open.

           I look around for answers to questions unspoken.  

       In the silence your Voice is clear. 

     “My Child, I see you.”

“Do you know me?”

My, Child I Know You.”

“Are you too busy to notice me?” 

“Do you see the emptiness inside?”

The walls of pride start slowly fading

“Yes, Child I have seen… 

I wipe my tear stained face. 

“My Child, when did you stop believing, my care for you?

“When will you stop running from me? 

“I see the broken dream.” 

I saw how hurt you were when you realized it wasn’t going to be.”

“You would not allow me to heal and comfort you.” 

“You refused to let me fill the hallow space.

You have tried every single mask man has ever made.”

“You went through the motions just the same,

“Like a performer in a well written play,”

“I know it is what you wished and prayed for.”

“It isn’t what is best suited for you, or the life I designed for you.. “

"It would not have fixed everything."  

It is time to let go, and trust me by faith.”   

I don’t know how to let it go, it hurts too much.”

“Give it To Me Child it is mine to carry.”

Come Closer!

Are you one of those people who loves being invited to events or are you one of those people that dreads the sight of an invitation in the mail?  For me, it depends on what I'm being invited to, and who the event is for.  For example, if I know the person really well then I'm usually delighted to attend an event which I have been invited to. However, if I do not know anyone at the event, or am not comfortable around those attending the event, then I'm less excited to receive an  invitation. My relationship with God, has been much the same way.  The more I become aware of the reality of God's actual character the more excited I become about spending time with Him.  For some reason, I have struggled  with some degree of seeing God as an angry Judge Mental Being   While, it is not something I struggle with all the time, it is rather frequent .Recently,I came across a verse I've read many times only this time it hit me with new force and excitement. Ephesians 2:13 "You who were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ."  The reality of that verse makes me want to dance!  I was once as far away from God as a person could possibly be, and then The God of the universe brought me to Himself by the Blood of Christ!  The barriers to to closeness with God have been removed!  God invites each of us to trust the Good News that if We trust in Christ death and the victory of the Resurrection to be sufficient to bridge  the enormous gap between us and God,then we come near to The Living One!  If you are like me, you may find yourself taking this wonderful gift for granted..  You see, I am often tempted to think there are limits to just how close I can get to God or how close He is willing to be with me.  Then this week I read Psalm 139:7-10    Reference  "

"Where can I flee from Your presence?

⁸ If I go up to heaven, You are there;if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there.
If I live at the eastern horizonor settle at the western limits,^[a] even there Your hand will lead me;

Your right hand will hold on to Me."

I long for closeness- It amazes me that King Of Kings and Lord of Lords  is inviting me to come near to him!  He wants me to come near! Jesus has secured my invitation, and it does not expire!    The same invitation is issued to you, as well, and I'm learning it isn't a general distant invitation it is deeply personal to you and me individually!    

Let's not waste our invitation to come near, by entertaining ourselves with 'lesser" things"  The more I discover God's real nature, the more I desire to accept his invitation to " Come Near"  What comes to mind, as you read the words come near? 

Jesus and Baseball?!

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This was written on a different day than post date.

        As the Little League United States championship game is taking place, at this moment, I feel as though I'm reliving part of my childhood. My brother played baseball from the time he was four until his late teen years. He continued to play softball and some baseball throughout his college years. As long as I can remember, he has enjoyed athletics.  Growing up, I can remember spending numerous hours at the baseball field. Sometimes he would have  as many as three games per day.  I loved watching him and his teammates. I always have marveled at my brother's ability and talents in baseball and other athletics settings.  His ability  to tune things out amazes me. Here's what I mean, the crowd could be cheering, but, while everyone is shouting how you should hold the bat, or what directions you should  follow, : my brother has a remarkable ability to focus on his task at hand.  I however am not good at tuning things out around me  Excessive noise can sometimes send me into a mental  overload..  As I watched games over the years, I recall frequently the coaches would tell the players keep their eyes focused on the ball, and to protect the plate, meaning swing to hit if it's in the strike zone. If not, let the pitcher walk you if it isn't. At least, that was my understanding from years of observation.  The coaches would often comment on how my brother would "watch the Ball all the way in" which helped him hit the ball well and get on base.  If you think about that for a minute there is a spiritual lesson in baseball.  At least when you are batting, you must keep your eye on the ball in order to succeed. You must not allow yourself to become distracted by the cheering crowd or the critics.  You cannot wallow in the last strike out or fielding error.    In our spiritual walk, we are told that key to being victorious is to "fix our eyes on Jesus, just like in baseball, life offers so many  distractions that often entice us to take our eyes off Christ, who has won our victory!Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³ Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."  Heb. 12:1-3

  Worry, deadlines, pressures, changes, trials, and false beliefs, can all take our focus  away from the eternal things,  Our joy and peace can be quickly stolen, not only by daily events or negative outlooks of our own, but also the outlook of others. This is much like when a player steals base in a baseball game.  Last week, there was one day where my circumstances were noticeably  out of my control, and it was only when I turned my eyes back to Jesus through God's presence, and a friend's encouragement,  I was reminded not  to become distracted by the situation.  I may have struck out that day, but that won't be my last at bat, and just maybe next time I will keep my eyes on Jesus, as He leads me to victory, despite the distractions which surround me.  What or who keeps you focused in this "game" called life?   

A Dose of Real and Thankful thrown in!

I have started several posts, this week and well thoose just haven't worked well.  Today is Friday, so mom will return home from Nashville tomorrow.  Sometimes, I think that when people know you love to write, they somehow think it comes easy to express yourself, but guess what it isn't.  When I write, what's in my heart comes out.  I wish sometimes I could write about surface stuff but I can't.  I wonder sometimes does this make me a bad writer?  I sometimes would love to write about what I had for lunch, but I'm easily bored by small talk, and am often seen as "too serious" because I like to have deep enriching conversations, though those  are often seasoned with humor.  I often feel melancholy, because in reality sometimes it takes every ounce in me to hide my true feelings and thoughts about things.  People don't want real too often, they want nice, neat and simple.  I take comfort in the fact that I can't pretend with God.  I'm learning slowly that there is no pretense with God.  He knows me, and doesn't grow tired of me, that amazes me.  I often want to write about having a family member who has cancer, and encourage others, but sometimes it feels like people don't want to read too much about that, because it provides a reality check for those who read.  I also sometimes want to write about the ups and downs of CP, but I'm not sure how that will come across to readers either.  I want to write about anger and bitterness .  I want to write about hope in trials, but I'm well aware  I risk losing the readers I have by doing so.  So as this swirls around in my brain, in the meantime,- I will tell you what I'm thankful for:

1. I'm thankful my mom's new trial is going so well so far.
2. Friends who are real.
3. Conflicts resolved 
4. The joy of prayer and repentance
5. New mercies 
6. Good books 
7. The right to process information before making it public.  

So now for the small talk what are your plans for the weekend?  Half Full Friday is sponsored byhttp://butterfly-wyldechylde.blogspot.com/2012/08/half-full-friday_24.html Thanks Sprinkles.  

Waving Goodbye To Regret! Wound Healer Part II.

     

                                                                       Image via Pintrest

Has there ever been a time in your life where you wanted to do something, but fear or excuses stood in your way? I don't mean necessarily the big things in life. I mean for example, trying out for a sport, or taking a trip you just keep putting off?  If this isn't true of you, then I suggest you stop reading now, because either you are the biggest daredevil on the planet, or you are lying to yourself. There have been some things, in my life that I wish that I had been brave enough to attempt. One was to join the debate team at Hunter Middle School. I always thought I would be good at it. My mom and close family members have always joked that I should have been a lawyer, because I could argue my position to death. I'm quite sure she didn't mean it as a compliment, but believe me I took it as one. It's ironic now, because as I got older I learned how to be intentional about avoiding conflict at all costs. I also wish that I had joined the Chattanooga State newspaper, while I was a student there, but I was never brave enough.   There have been other regrets on a larger scale than this Thie fear of failure at times in my life, has been paralyzing.  I don't want this to be true of my writing.  The more I live, the more I discover that the risk takers in this world are the ones who often live rich fulfilling lives. I don't want to live a life, immobilized by regret. I've done enough of that already. I'm not saying that it's always wise to throw caution to the wind, but what I am saying is that sometimes playing it safe can become a prison all of its own.  Everything I've just written her goes against my natural personality.
     The early church followers of Christianity had anything but safe lives, still what they did have was an unshakable security in Jesus Christ.  I can't change my past no matter how much I might like to, but I can change my approach to living life now. I'm not concretely sure what steps that God may be asking me to take, but I know that I want to take those steps, as long as those steps are directed by him.  Has God been faithful to you, when you have taken what felt like a giant step of faith?  Will you go with me on this journey however uncertain it could be? You will hear more in the days to come, but for now in order to be set free from the prison of regret both big and small, we must decide that we desire freedom in Christ, more than the familiarity of our own prisons.  I hear the bells of freedom in the distance, but I can't see these yet.  I can see the sunset, but I can grab it yet.  What if David, listened to the naysayers when they said he couldn't fight Goliath?  What if Moses had listened to his own objections?  What if Gabby Douglas had given up on the Olympics a year earlier?  What if the apostle Paul had allowed his past to define his future? What if Michael Jordan had given up too soon?  My question is this, where do we need to move on from the past, in order to embrace our now?  How many sunsets moments are we going to miss in the present, because we cannot let go of the ones we missed in the past?
        I know my next sentence may seem like it’s an oprah Winfrey slogan, and I admit it sounds a bit like something she’d say. I’m learning that with each new day, God through his mercy allows me to redefine who I can become.  I’ve heard all my life how God gives people second chances, but because of Christ, we are given a fresh start with every breath we breathe.  Are you embracing your fresh start, or like me are you still bound by the prison of yesterday?  Are we bound by yesterday’s missed sunsets or the painful memories that seem like we might cave under the weight of rejection both real and imaged?     As I was thinking about how to wrap up this post, I thought of three verses.  “ And we know that God causes everything to work together^[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28  NLT  It occurred to me, that while remorse is the proper response to sin, regret is longer lasting and counterproductive to God’s kingdom. When we know God has promised to work out both our victories and failures out for our good and his purpose! "Brothers, I do not^[a] consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead,  I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly^[b] call in Christ Jesus." Phil.3:13-14.HCSB     The apostle knew that He could not take steps forward, if He stayed held hostage by regret.  My mom has always told me can't change the past, and she is right we cannot relieve our moments, but I'm learning that we can do, at least two things with the past, we can let it change us into better people, and learn from it, asking God to use it, or we can continue to mourn it, and continue to be imprisoned in lives filled with regret.  Every day, we are offered the same choice.  I want to wave goodbye to the pain of regret, one step at a time are you coming with me?   "Christ has liberated us to be free. Stand firm then and don’t submit again to a yoke of slavery." Gal 5:1  God provides us with the chance to witness a new sunset every day, let's not miss it by holding on to regret!

  

The BIG "C- Christ, is Able to fight the little "c- cancer

tonight I  write you my readers, with a heavy heart for a few people fighting the little c- cancer.  This idea of the little c cancer did not originate with me, but I heard it when my mom first found out she had cancer in 2008.  It isn't that cancer is a little thing at all.  What is true though is the Big C stands not for cancer, but for Christ.  At another time, I will write about how my mom is doing, and the journey we are on, but right now I want to ask you to pray for a 16 year old girl named Jordan who has cancer of the brain from my church.  She will begin the radiation process tomorrow.  Please remember her and her family in your prayers.  Please pray for healing, comfort, peace, and strength!  Pray for her daily.  If I continue to learn anything in the past 4\ years, it is this... No matter what, Christ will always be bigger than cancer.  I don't always know what that looks like, but I know it is true!  
  Please also pray for my blogger friend Beth, whose sister is in the wanting process of test results!  Thank you!  

Wound Healer Part 1.

                During one of my mom’s many surgeries, she was forced to be left with an open wound. The purpose of this was so that the highly dangerous infection in her leg would be able to properly drain. This required home health nurses having to come on a daily basis to pack her leg, so that it would properly heal without leaving a gaping permanent hole.  During this time, it was frustrating for my mom, because it was time-consuming, uncomfortable and required her to have to depend on someone else for her needs.  Her leg had to packed for proper care. As I thought about this, it occurred to me that this is what happens when we as Christians experience wounds of a different kind.  I realized recently how deep the wound of rejection can be.  Over years of writing on this blog, I’ve discovered that one of the topical issues I tend to write in one form another is rejection. This is one of my wounds.  I believe that there are a couple of unhealthy ways that I have dealt with the pain of rejection.  One way is by avoiding conflict at all costs.  It's probably obvious, but this is an unhealthy habit because it's impossible.  I've always been intrigued by the fact that Jesus never seemed to run from conflict. Maybe the reason I am so quick to avoid conflict, is because I know that more often than not I will not respond how Jesus did. You see, Jesus was far from a people pleaser like me.  When Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness in matthew chapter 4, he didn't become rattled because he knew who he was. He knew whose approval he already had.  I have a really bad habit of not telling people when my feelings are hurt; instead I try to rationalize away the hurt I feel, so that I can avoid conflict. It's a vicious cycle I know that.   

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      Going back to the wound analogy with my mom, I'm discovering that just as her physical wound had to be packed, we as Christians cannot expect our wounds whatever they may be to just fade away into the night. Without ever having surrendered  to Christ to bring healing.  We cannot know the supernatural power of healing to our wounds apart from The Wound Healer  Some wounds heal quicker than others. Some can be treated with a quick apology, while others like my mom’s take time to treat properly.  In Isaiah 61 Jesus proclaims that one of the reasons he came, was to heal the brokenhearted.    As I was laying awake late the other night,  a wound came up that I continue to push away without addressing it.  I'm sure it is because I know it will be uncomfortable. It will require my choosing to let go and not holding on. I might have to risk losing the approval of others and having conversations I'd rather not have. I sometimes wonder if what attracted crowds to Jesus, was his willingness to do the hard things.  If my mom had not allowed her leg to be treated properly, then it would have left her impaired in some way. Now of course in my mom's case, the choice seems like no choice at all.  Of course, you're going to take the necessary steps to healing. On a spiritual level though, most of us – well okay I don't want to do the work necessary to promote healing. Sure, I want the benefits of allowing the Lord to heal the wounds but am I willing to do the hard work to get there?  I'm learning that when we hold our wounds near to our hearts without surrendering these to Christ, we find ourselves impaired in different ways. “He heals the brokenhearted” and bandages their wounds.”  Ps. 147:3 Much like my mom would have experienced, if she had chosen not to allow the time and effort it took to accomplish the task. I realize this is kind of a psychology-based post but that was never my intention. So I have a few questions for you, my readers: have you experienced a type of emotional healing that only entrusting Christ can accomplish?  While I know this is a particularly difficult topic – and I'm not asking for specifics, I'm wondering are there pieces of advice you would give to those on the outside looking in? If you are still waiting on, or in the process of a continual healing, built on the foundation of Christ, what are some tools you would be willing to share?  For me, I'm learning that there are some wounds that only Christ can heal. I'm also learning that running away from that which I don't want to face is harmful.  Sometimes what hurts us seems insignificant to others, but how comforting it is to know that to Christ all of our wounds are important. No matter how insignificant we may think these to be.  Sometimes for me I replay different forms of rejection, to the point that these have become an unspoken expectation of my own.  It was only as I’m beginning to bring these to Christ, which I have discovered Christ never desired for his children to believe or be driven by wounds of rejection.  I’m not saying that I’ve faced rejection to the degree that lots of people have, but that still does not change the fact that God cares, or overshadow the need for God’s supernatural healing    I hope this won't be the last word on the subject.  I also want to write about what it is like to be the person inflicting the wound. I have been on both sides of the coin.  

A little game!

A friend of mine Molly @ A Foreign Land was so nice to nominate me for the  Liebster Blog award earlier this week.'m ecstatic about it.  Molly is one of the most creativity people I've ever met.  Yes, we've met in real life.  She is real and humorous and a much more consistent and seasoned blogger than me.  There are so many fun things to read about at her blog see above.    The Liebster award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. What is a Liebster? The meaning: Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.  Since I know most my readers don't do the tag thing I'm opening this up to whoever would like to respond.

1. What was the last movie you saw in a theater?

   The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 

2. What do you want to be when you grow up? An author
3. What would you do-oo-oo for a Klondike bar?  for regular nothing, but Reese kind, Kiss a frog 
4. Superman, Batman or Iron man?  Always Superman
5. How many brothers and sisters do you have and where are you in the birth order? one brother I'm older
6. What is your favorite season? summer
7. Are you more of an early riser or a night owl?night owl
8. How did you come up with the name of your blog?It's a plan on the words of Michael W. smith's song place in this world
9. What's one thing you've accomplished that you want to brag about? Go ahead! Brag!  I spoke at my high school gradation.
10. What book are you reading right now? In the middle of a few, not attached or married to any. 
11. What would you consider your signature color?  I love Teal, but I'm told I look good in red, but I think I stand out in red.  

If you choose to play along, and I hope you will, come back and link up in the comment section. Let's use this as an opportunity to get to know one another a little bit better! 

My 11 questions

1. What's one of your pet peeves?

2. Are you an extrovert or introvert? 

3.  What Movie do you like watching many times

4.  Favorite Scent?

5. What do you want to know, that you don't?

6.  When is your birthday?

7. What is your favorite game?  

8. Who do you admire, and why?  

9. What do you like to blog about most? 

10.  Where would you go, if money was no object.  

11. What makes you laugh? 

How Do You see?

                                                   
                                                                via Pintrest



             To be honest, I don't know if the above pin will tie into this post or not, but it is a truth that I'm learning to hold dear to this well known song more with each day!  For a long time, the words above made me uneasy, and now I marvel at the thought, knowing the security the words reflect for me and millions of others around the world.

          I have been reading in 1 Samuel and really enjoying it.  Have you ever felt overlooked   or discounted?  There is a teenager in 1 Sam. who his family and perfect strangers counted out without the slightest consideration.His name was David, and because He was younger than his brothers, he was discounted, not on one occasion, but several times.   David's Father neglected to mention him when the prophet Samuel came to their home in search of Israel's next king even Samuel expected God to chose one of the other sons, but God made his desire crystal clear!  Please look at 1 Sam.16:6 for better context.  I have 1 Samuel 16:7-12 postedFrom Biblegateway 

⁷ But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or his stature, because I have rejected him. Man does not see what the Lord sees,^[d] for man sees what is visible,^[e] but the Lordsees the heart.”

⁸ Jesse called Abinadab and presented him to Samuel. “The Lord hasn’t chosen this one either,” Samuel said. ⁹ Then Jesse presented Shammah, but Samuel said, “The Lord hasn’t chosen this one either.” ¹⁰ After Jesse presented seven of his sons to him, Samuel told Jesse, “The Lord hasn’t chosen any of these.”¹¹ Samuel asked him, “Are these all the sons you have?”

“There is still the youngest,” he answered, “but right now he’s tending the sheep.” Samuel told Jesse, “Send for him. We won’t sit down to eat until he gets here.” ¹² So Jesse sent for him. He had beautiful eyes and a healthy,^[f] handsome appearance."  

             Do you see how Jesse discounted his son, it may very well have been unintentional on the part of Jesse and then Samuel in the earlier verse, but in later chapters his brother discounted him for the task on fighting Goliath a towering warrior giant who bullied God's people.  Most of us focus on how God tells us not to judge by appearance, but by the condition of the heart.  Something else caught my attention this time though.  First, God never discounted David for what most see as weakness.  Yes, David was a shepherd, and he was young, but God molded both these so called weaknesses and used these for His purposes.  Second, here is the proof that God sees differently and better than we can.  God tells us clearly in verse 7 that when we look at our lives we are only capable of using earthly vision, but God sees both what is visible and invisible to our eyes.  Like me, are you plagued currently by events you don't understand?  If you are, rest assured we can Know that God can see clearly what is foggy in our eyes!  Olympic Medalist, Michael Phelps once got pool water in his goggles, during a major event, but he still won, because he had been trained to continue swimming even when he could not see his surroundings.  Likewise, even when we can't see our path ahead, we can still rest in the arms of the God who does not discount us and has the perfect view of our lives!  It can be well with our souls, because God sees with perfect vision!  What Aha moment have you encountered, once you discovered that God sees you and your life differently than you do?  If you are reading this post you have gone with me to a live Aha moment!

She Speaks Recap and dipping my toe in the water

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Hotel Lobby  Image 3

                                                   

Lysa TerKeurst Author/Speakerhttp://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lysaterkeurst.com%2F&h=ZAQG1WPMn  

Author/ Speaker

Sharon Glasgow

                                            My Speaking Eval.Leader

                                                It looks pretty but so not a fan of mayo...

                                                              This was my Manna from above!

Rich, Rich Rich!

Author/ Speaker Liz Curtis Higgs by far the funniest most comedic down to earth woman I've ever met! 

         Let me began by saying that while it may appear that all I did @ She Speaks was meet big time authors and speakers this is very far from true.  Many of you are probably expecting to make some big announcement about writing a book or speaking to people.   I learned a TON about the ins and out of writing and speaking.  I met lots of people from nearly every cultural background one could imagine!   Yes I said culture not state The life lessons I learned were just as apparent as all the meat and Potato ones.    I learned that I am a writer, and I love it!  I am a writer now, not later when I'm published but now.  I learned I like to speak, but I love to write!     God has given me a message that is uniquely mine, though I am still discovering what that looks like.  I found out that I'm very introspective, and though I love people, contrary to popular opinion I don't enjoy being the center of attention, and that's okay.    It was like a crash course in college, but you only have to learn subjects that interest you.  Jenn and I had a great traveling together!  It was such a gift she gave me in Our Lord.    I enjoyed all of it, but the first night I had a "freak out, after one of the speakers talked about all the physical things a speaker should do while delivering a message, like breathe properly move around on stage, and I panicked.  It took me almost the rest of the night to get over my feelings of inadequacy, but once I did I was able to fully embrace the rest of the weekend and lot go of my fear.  Thanks for your prayers!  I'm excited about what is waiting for me.  Here are few things I am learning....

• I am a gifted communicator- I say that with both shock and excitement!   
• I need to use my gifts.
• I don't have to be someone else to be effective.
• Perspective Matters
• I am a picky eater, and I'm okay with that
• Prayer and writing are never a waste of time for me, if it is time directed by the Lord!  
• I love to laugh!  
• I can take risks when it counts. 

The trip is a gift I will cherish!  Special thanks to Jenn Hand and all who helped make the trip possible!    i RECEIVED wonderful constructive feedback!  There was much laughter!
Tell me what you are in the process of learning about right now?    

              

Yes, We Can, Because "He" Did!

Please note this post was written days prior to the Supreme Court's ruling today, and was not intended to make a political statement of any kind.
In the last several years it seems my confidence in my intellect has suffered a lot.  The fact is I never had much confidence in my skills.    I can do people, but ask me to learn a new skill and I will break out in a sweat.  I suppose it is because for years no matter how much I succeeded, it always seemed I was one step away from discovering I wasn't smart, and if that happened my identity would be gone.  I might be able to fool other people, but I knew the truth.  The truth is there are some serious holes in my skill level, and sometimes there are days I wonder how I excelled in high school, much less three years of college.  It seems what I lacked in skill or ability, I concealed through effort.  As I approach an exciting event in my lifeShe Speaks I'm thrilled and amazed, still part of me thinks I'm foolish to think God would desire to use me in the area of communication written or spoken.  Then,though I am reminded God is not oblivious to my weakness or my strengths.  I also know there are a TON OF PEOPLE who love me and believe in me way more than I understand.These people have allowed me the chance to go, and more importantly God picked this time, this season for me to attend!  Back during President Obama's election campaign, He used the slogan "Yes We Can"  Regardless of my opinion or views on his polices, I like many were mesmerized by his optimism and the historical context of his campaign, and his "underdog roots"  I realize many of  you  stopped reading at this point at the very mention of something political, but hang with me.  You and I both know that apart from Christ, we can do nothing, but this slogan, "YES WE CAN has applications  for Christians in our walk.  The truth is if we believed what God says about what we as believers can do, we would be unstoppable!  So I'm borrowing a portion of President Obama's slogan, and adding a little a little something to it.  Yes, We can, because He meaning Christ already did .Everything we needed to make us VICTORIOUS has been accomplished!         No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us."  Romans 8:37  Despite whatever Weakness we have God's grace and power are greater!  Also, see Phil 1:6    I do ask that you all pray for me in the coming weeks as I prepare!  Thank you!
    

Choose Joy Friday!

     It has been awhile since you have seen a Choose Joy post from me.  I use the word Joy instead of happiness on purpose, but I'll tell you more about that another time. Half Full Friday is a series of weekly posts that Eyegirl originally started in June 2009.  We believe that a lot of our happiness is determined by our attitude about the things that happen to us.  So by participating, I'm deciding to see the glass as half full instead of half empty; I'm choosing to concentrate on the positives instead of dwelling on the negatives.  The Half Full Friday posts are a way to do just that.  They're a list of the things in my life that have brought me happiness over the past week.  I'm determined to find something good in each day.  Are you? by Sprinkles @ http://butterfly-wyldechylde.blogspot.com/  Link up with her blog if you want to join in!

For the next week, I'd like to challenge each of you to keep a list of at least one thing that brought you happiness each day.  Be sure to link up here once you've posted your list!  (This isn't a blog hop so please only link up if you've participated by posting your happy list on your own blog.  Thanks!)

• I am joyful because I was given an amazing hot stone massage as a gift!  It was beyond words an amazing experience...
• I have discovered the book Choose Joy by Kay Warren, and while I'm only over half way through, it has still rocked my world.
• My mom is doing great Living with cancer
• I'm going to She speaks conferenceInfo here!! 
• I love Summer!  

1 John 4:16

"JOY is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be all right, and the determined choice to praise God in all things."Kay Warren Choose Joy)