Worship and Wonder!!

Hello:
I am so filled with wonder today!  Wonder is one of those things that is difficult to put in to words!  Here are some verses I read today.  My study time in the word was on the lengthy side, but I could not leave, because one area that has been lacking  in my life is personal worship.  There has not been a shortage of thanksgiving as thanking is a regular part of my daily routine.  Worship however- Worship is more intimate, and I sometimes find it hard to grasp what personal worship looks like, as it is such a huge word with such rich meaning, at times it bothers me that it is a word/concept that is so often thrown around without the least bit of awe, wonder, or respect.    There is so much I don't understand in regards to sincere worship.  I begin with this explanation, because today I have experienced a taste of personal worship. I won't go into rich detail of my time with God, because it is richly personal to me  I'll start with Micah 5.Find it here

 ^2 (C) Bethlehem Ephrathah, ^(D)
    you are small among the clans of Judah;
    One will come from you ^(E)
    to be ruler over Israel for Me. ^(F)
    His origin ^[a] is from antiquity, ^(G)
    from eternity. ^[b]

    ³ Therefore, He will abandon them ^(H) until the time
    when she who is in labor ^(I) has given birth;
    then the rest of His brothers ^(J) will return
    to the people of Israel. ^(K)

    ⁴ He will stand and shepherd [them] ^(L)
    in the strength of Yahweh,
    in the majestic name of Yahweh His God.
    They will live securely,
    for then His greatness will extend
    to the ends of the earth. Micah 5:2-4

These verses predict birth and rule of Christ the Messiah.  Here is a commentary from someone much smarter than me...Here it is 
Now back to my personal reflections.  He will Shepherd in the strength of Yahweh, they will live securely!  Then it hit me, since I have partaken in God's promises through Christ, I will live in security!  I don't mean financial security, I mean a present and eternal security, which is sure regardless of the status of circumstances.    As one who wrestled with the matter of my own eternal security for years, to the point of having professorial counseling sessions in regard to this as a stand alone issue, what a comfort this promise is.  How sweet it is for Christians to know we have unshaken security in this life and the next!  For the believer Christmas isn't a season, it is one glorious, amazing, piece in the eternal never-ending reality for those who have been redeemed!  
Next, I went to Lk. Chapter 2.   There I took note, that both the response of the wise men and the Shepherds upon seeing Jesus was worship and wonder!  This is the response that should be our  automatic response as well! 
     Last I traveled to John 1.  John 1:9    "The true Light who gives light to everyone, was coming into the World."  We live on the other side of this promise!  Christ did come into the world He created.  The True Light is with us, God himself is with us, and He the Holy Spirit dwells IN Us!  The entire is Bible is a foundation for, and a continuation of Christmas!  Merry Christmas! 

Without Words?? While You Were Sleeping!

I have not been able to find the words to express myself this Christmas season, which makes me a little puzzled, as this is unusual, but this does not mean I cannot share the original expressions of others, so I hope you enjoy!  Merry Christmas my blogging friends!

Becky Kelley - Where's the Line to See Jesus - OFFICIAL MUST SEE

Who is on your Christmas List

IMAGE HERE

This image on the outside does not look all that great , which is the only part that is visible to us, it  does not look all that flattering does it?  However if it were discovered that inside the gift box was a million dollars then we would love the box a lot more!  We might even lie, cheat, or steal to get it.  I've often said that Jesus is the greatest gift of all, and nothing could be more true, but do we as Christians live and act as though we have the hope of eternity?  The Christian life isn't a promise of an earthly wealth or a free pass from life's heartaches.  Still because of Jesus we have become the objects of God's favor!  As Christians the riches we posses are never ending,   here are two of the riches we have:

1. We have the forgiveness of sin! "She will give birth to a son, and you will give the name Jesus, because He will save his people from their sins." Mt. 1:21

2. We have Emmanuel God with us!-  Behold, the virgin will conceive and bear a son, and they shall call him Immanuel, which means, God with us" Mt. 1:23 All because God gave himself in flesh through his son Jesus.   Jesus was born through the power of the Holy Spirit!  He lived a perfect life in obedience to the law.  Died the death of a wicked criminal, even though He was, is and will forever be without fault and rule forever in purity and justice!  The story is far from over, He conquers death and overcomes the punishment for anyone who accepts such an amazing gift on their behalf, and turns and follows this Jesus to live a life devoted to him!  God gave the greatest gift in history!  I have a confession to make, my life does not even begin to come close to expressing the devotion and commitment that is due in response to such an unparalleled gift!  I've been thinking a lot about how I don't share the gospel message on a daily basis, and I'm convicted.  I love giving people material gifts, so why would I not be even more willing to tell them about Jesus who not only, is the reason for this season, but who has made my life worth living!  Is Jesus on your Christmas list?  Everything belongs to him, but one thing Jesus asks,  no rather requires of us is to share who he is with a dying world!  Since I live in the Bible Belt, it is tempting to convince myself that everyone around me has heard and received  the Gospel, but there are plenty of "pew warmers" who've never had a personal life changing encounter with Christ.  So how will share truth of Christmas, in the few remaining days of 2010? 1 Peter 3:15 Is Jesus on our Christmas Giving list?  He already gave himself as a gift to us!

   

A lesson in Spiritual Mathematics!

Sometimes when something hurtful happens in my life, I have a  tendency to check out..  No I'm still here, but this week I've been disengaged from life since Monday afternoon  Oh I've gotten dressed and gone through the motions, but with no joy or focus.  Without disclosing much , someone lied to me, and the lie does not just effect me, but others too.  It wasn't just any person, but a person I've come to care for.  I suppose most people would speak their mind and confront the hurt, and move ahead, but  because of both situations and lack of courage, I rarely express anger towards other people, mostly because I fear losing the relationship.  At the core of me I fear relational conflicts, because it has  been my experience that such conflicts rarely get resolved in positive way.  I have wanted to post, but have had nothing wise or encouraging share with you.
          All that keeps coming to the front of my mind is: 1 John 4:4 Because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is the world."  Let's face it we don't like to admit it, but we don't have a clue about the kind of hardships and warfare the early church faced.  If it were biblical to compare suffering, most of our suffering would rate low on the universal suffering scale.  The good news is Jesus does not compare sufferings, but he does want us to keep them in proper perspective.  When I was in Elementary school I told a lie about a friend, and I never made things right with that person, and to this day even though I've been made right with God,  I never had the chance to make things right with this person and help restore their reputation.  Every time I remember it, this instant remorse and sorrow  rise within me.     When this situation happened this week, the thought crossed my mind that may be this is pay back for the wrong I have done to this person from my past or others through the years.  However the bible does not teach karma or that God repays us for the sins of our past, even though there are earthly consequences.   I have to remind myself that the blood of Jesus  that covers me is greater than sin and failures.  Greater is He that is in us than our evil spiritual enemy.  Greater is The Holy Spirit in us than the problems and hurts weigh upon us.  Greater is He Christ who dwells in us, than the sickness that looms within our bodies.  Before you object, I'm not suggesting a name it claim positive thinking philosophy.  In short, here the point, I've lost sleep this week, because I lost sight of the big picture that Jesus has already won the eternal war on my behalf!  I've been afraid to talk to this person the next time we see each other, which will be soon,  , because of the unknown what will happen, if I do or if I don't.  When in fact, I have no control over what this person will do or say, and I've made far too many choices upon other peoples responses or reactions.  So I will ask God for courage and leave the results in his hands!  As a believer, whatever we face, God is already there!  See Deut. 31:8 and Jos. 1:5  What area do you need to know God is greater than the difficulties of this world and the father of lies?  He is Greater indeed!
Desiring to be Taken to the Higher Things,

The gift of tears!

I've had this post in my head for 2 days, but have not written it down.  In my my family, I'm known as the emotional one.  That title has brought me feelings of shame over the years. Don't get me wrong, I get lots of positive reinforcement from my family who loves me so much, however this label, at one time probably well earned is one I refuse to carry anymore   Mostly because there was a time when my emotions were screaming to get out, and for years I wanted to tell people what was in my heart and on my mind, but truly believed that few  people were listening.    Once I was given permission to shed tears of anger, sadness and disappointment, and even joy, the emotions that came seeping or rather ragging to the surface , suddenly I was not as emotional as I once was.   Now partly this is because of God's gift of modern medicine, and a change in the intensity of my circumstances, but I'm thankful that Jesus gave me permission to shed tears, even when everything in me says, "you are weak"  "You are too sensitive"  "you are too soft."        John 11:35 "Jesus Wept"  I could tell you a few reasons why I think this included in the Bible, but I'm not a bible scholar, and I thought about getting some good commentary, but I''ll focus on one single reasons though I believe that another is because He was angry and saddened by the disbelief of the people who surrounded him.  However, I'm not  going to focus on that at the moment.  Jesus never did anything unholy or anything wrong.  He set an example for  us about the difference between right and wrong.  So as silly as it sounds, I guess it could be said this way, If tears are okay with Jesus, then why aren't tears okay with us?  Sometimes I am tempted to equate venerability with sinfulness, and while there have been times where one has followed the other, I think it is finally sinking in that emotions or tears are not the precursor to sin, but rather the use or response to such emotions can lead to sin.  For example one can be angered about the evil of abortion or homosexuality, but to kill an abortionist or to beat a person to death who practices homosexuality as a lifestyle, is both sinful and evil.
     I remember about a year after my one major depressive episode, I began to make it a regular habit to lay whatever ever emotions I experienced that day to God's Lordship, and on the days I've done that it has made all the difference
I have heard before that tears are from God from my pastor, though I did not hear the  sermon first hand  and  a wise counselor, but still struggle to believe this, but after hearing it from a SS teacher in a group setting, and then seeing in the Bible through both Jesus and Joesph and  in the Psalms how can I not.  To conclude anything else would be choose my own sinful belief over God's truth.  Does this mean my tears are to rule me, no.  The other night I was watching one of my favorite movies Radio, and found myself deeply moved by the plot once again, and for the first time that I can remember, I was thankful upon this earth to be able to form tears of joy and sadness.  For the first time I thanked God for the gift of tears!          So I'm curious what do you think about tears.  Have you viewed tears as a gift or a curse?  Let me hear your thoughts.What have you believed about tears?  More Christmas posts soon.

Christmas Makes Me Cry Mandisa and Matthew West

Jennifer Rothschild Don't miss this!

The More the Merrier! From 4 to 6!

Our Butterball Turkey

Mom set the Table

Brady has discovered the art of funny Faces!

Can't believe he stood still to take a real picture

I think that is the stay in your seat and behave look.

What you doin?

Funny face again!

My name is Jack, and I love trains!

In this picture, you would not know it, but Cousin Bill works hard!

We love Mumize's cooking!

Brady is going break hearts some day!  Sorry Photo is turned wrong

Normally there are just 4 of us for Thanksgiving, as all the extended family goes to WV, but this year cousin Bill & his wife Mandy, and their two boys spent Thanksgiving with us!  It was all the richer with them here!  Thanks guys we love you!  Also, see my previous post for 100 reasons I'm thankful!  There are more pics, but I could not post them all!  Happy Thanksgiving Bloggy Friends!  Sorry some how this blog became non-public for 24 hours.  Don't know how that happened!

First 100 Reasons I'm Thankful!

Can you come up with 100 things you are thankful for? This is what I'm going to attempt beginning now.

1. Jesus rescued me from Sin Self, and Hopelessness
2. Answered Prayers
3. My Heavenly Father
4. A new start
5. Forgiveness
6. House
7. The Bible
8. Spiritual Gifts
9. My Mom
10. My Brother
11. Mumzie
12. Jocelyn 
13. Brady 
14. Jack 
15. Margaret 
16. Ron
17. Kim
18. Brad
19. Bill
20. Mandy
21. Dad
22. Macy
23. Food and Clean Water
24. Living in America
25. Bed
26. Sunshine
27. Friends
28. Health
29. Mom's Health
30. Progress
31. Church Family
32. Pastoral Staff
33.    Salvation of most of my family
34. My chair.
35. Health care
36. Freedom to vote
37. Van with Lift
38. Needs are met
39. Use of my hand
40. Speech
41. Hearing
42. Basic Sight
43. Ability to read/learn
44. The Beach
45. The Stars
46. The rain.
47. Kindness
48. Mercy
49.  Government
50. Technology
51. Soldiers
52. Purpose
53. Laughter
54. Leisure
55.  Promise of Heaven
56. Music
57. Clothes
58. Modern Medicine
59.  Babies born
60. Memories
61. Birthdays
62. Christmas
63. Easter
64. Thanksgiving
65. Good Doctors
66. Hope of reconciliation
67. Butterflies
68. Being a girl!
69. Acts of kindness done for me in 2010
70. Caregivers
71. Volunteer Work
72. New Friends
73. Smiles
74. Luxuries
75. Electric Blanket
76. New Shower
77. New Shower Chair
78. The past is Gone!
79. Meaning
80. Hair Dyer
81. Books
82. Photographs
83.   Freedom from Physical pain
84. Freewill
85. Humor
86. Men
87. Chocolate cake
88. Hugs
89. Happy tears
90. excitement 
91. Roses
92. Movies
93. Mentors
94. Michael W. Smith
95. AC AND Heat in house and car
96. Surprises
97. Constant things
98. Elderly Wisdom
99. Another Day
100. Family tradition  

Half Full Friday/11/19/10 and Happy Dance!

Hi Bloggers Friends:

         I am overflowing with thankfulness for my returned good health, and want to say thank you for your prayers.  My surgery was a success the recovery was longer and rougher than predicted, but thrilled to put it behind me.    I have been in awe of the outpouring of love I have received.    After not being out of the house for more than a week, it has been nice to get back in the swing of things.  Half Full Friday now has a new sponsor!  You can find her here! Hope you will check it out and make your own list.I will hopefully be back with a part 2 on Spiritual Boredom Part II.  Hopefully a more positive, but equally transparent post will follow part I.

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• I am joyful to be feeling better than I've felt in literally a month and 1/2.
• I am joyful because of all my get well cards and gifts.
• I am joyful that I got the whole season 10 of BH 90210.
• I am joyful because Thanksgiving is next week! 
• I am joyful for the response to my previous blog post.
• I am joyful that God is present even when I may, not sense his presence.
• I'm joyful to do no longer be in a medicine induced fog.
• I am joyful that I read a new book in three hours even though I'm a slow reader

Spiritual Boredom? Part I

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Can I make a confession?  Of course I can who's going to stop me?  I was not one of those kids that was bored ever.  I always found ways to entertain myself or keep myself busy.  Until recently I never had to talk myself into reading my bible or praying, because as a teenager, I was so lonely that it was my loneliness that drove me to God.  Lately however I find that I'm in a spiritual state of boredom.   The problem of course is me for we know the Christian life is anything but boring, and even more we know we serve an amazing Holy God!  He can never be fully described, and his greatness t be fathomed.    So have you ever faced spiritual boredom?  How did you cure it?  
Restore the joy of Your salvation to me,
    and give me a willing spirit
Ps. 51:12 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. ⁵ Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first."
Rev. 2:4
Part 2 later..

I WILL NEVER & KIDNEY WHAT??

Has it really been over a week since I blogged?  Well here is the deal, next week they will put me to sleep to get rid of a kidney stone that has been causing me problems for awhile.  I had to go to the ER last wed, because of pain.  I'm no stranger to surgery, I have had my share, but I barely know this doctor, and he advised me that even though it is day surgery, it is kinda a "big deal"  So since I'm use to 5 to 7 hours surgeries, an hour and a half seems like a piece of cake.  But I've never had anything done that related to my kidney, before so I'm kind of chicken.  R ember a few weeks ago when I had that stomach bug, yeah I'm kinda thinking this could be related.
   In other news, last Sunday night I was feeling lonely as I often do on Sunday nights.  I could give a list of reasons why, but I won't....  The point is I was feeling forgotten and lonely, and there was this ache longing, I just  could not shake.  I could barely pray, but had such intense feelings I can't seem to put into words. but The Holy Spirit reminded me  that God would NEVER LEAVE ME!  The sweetest peace came over me,  I don't know about you, but I need someone who will follow through on their promise to never leave me.  When God says He will Never Leave He is serious.  I'll be honest, this week I'm deserving of being abandoned...  I have not sought God as I know I'm called to...  But He is still God, and He is still with me!  I'"ll try to post a part 2 with scripture soon, but isn't it cool to know God will not abandon us, even when as the song says we are prone to wander

In Your Eyes

  

“In Your Eyes”

By T.J. Ellis

October 2010 ©

In Your Eyes, I am forgiven.

In Your Eyes, I am complete.

In Your Eyes, I have already won!

In Your Eyes, I am loved.

In Your Eyes I’m accepted.

In Your Eyes the lies are gone.

In Your Eyes I am wearing a robe of white.

In Your Eyes, I am covered by The Blood so pure!

In Your Eyes, there is nothing I cannot endure

In your Eyes, my identity is secure!

In your Eyes I can see!

There is hope!

There is protection from danger.

In your Eyes I’m not a prisoner to anger!

 I am not a failure

How sweet it is for a moment, to see through your Eyes!

A Day of Memories in Downtown Chattanooga!.

Mom and me.  We had a great time.  You would never know in this my stomach had been hurting the whole day.  Sometimes you gotta push through the pain and not let anything stop you from enjoying life.

Later that evening mom and I met some friends on the Southern Belle Dinner Cruise(Chattanooga's Riverboat.More Here This was a place we stopped to site see before we got on the actual Riverboat.  I won the cruise..

I've said before I love Butterflies!

Downtown Chattanooga  It was a beautiful day for an outing since we live within the city limits we hardly ever go downtown.

Inside Willa Collections.  I love their clothes but they aren't meant for non skinny types.  But, if you are ever in the area, it's a nice place!Willa Collection

My mom painted and decorated this chair for the "Chair Affair" to benefit On Point the chair can be viewed @ Willa Collection located in Downtown Chattanooga.More Chair Affair Info
   

                                        

So here are some highlights of the best day of Fall Break...  I may not have gotten a trip to the beach, but this was pretty great too!  So I was too busy yesterday for Half Full Friday this week.  Sometimes writers must remember that we must never become so busy writing about our life that we fail to live it, or we will find we will have nothing to write about.            
God reminded me this morning He desires for me to acknowledge Him, in the every day details, not just in the moments we categorize as spiritual.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3 

Let them Be Them and You Be You!

So I learned something today that has brought me strange freedom!  My mom took a spiritual gifts test today, and found that one of the things that comes natural to her is exercising faith.  For years my mom has said things like have faith God will take care of it.  To which I would roll my eyes and huff and puff always at a loss as to how  faith always seems to be her response.  I on the other hand, have a tendency toward mercy.  While she is more a suck it up kinda gal.  Most of the things we fight about come down to the different ways in which God has designed us.  Don't get me wrong as Christians we are all called to walk by faith and not by sight, but for some faith is like breathing, and for those like me, choosing faith is constantly at war with doubt and mistrust.  Instead of embracing the gift God has entrusted her with, I have often mocked it, and been at times envious of it.  Likewise I think my strong tendency toward mercy leaves her wondering, did this child really come out of me? I also become angry with myself for not being more like her. The truth is the church today has much the same issue, we want others to look, act, and behave like us, but the ironic thing is we were never created to be carbon copies of one another.  The truth is I love my mom and she loves me.  She is not me, and I am not her.  We are two different people created by the same Holy God!  So while we are similar, we are not the exact same, nor were we meant to be.    So see how this hits you.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. ³Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Eph. 4:2-3.Find it Here  That I am learning can only happen when we submit to God, and ask him to do the impossible in and through us.  So I guess the prayer is Lord help me bear with others, and Lord enable others to bear with me.  God knew this would be hard concept for us finite humans, but He addresses it clearly.  I have a feeling this may be a post, that I myself will revisit often.   What do you think?  I mean I guess I knew this in my head, but never really got it, you know?
Reaching for the Higher,

Half Full Friday and More!

It is for half full Friday!created by Eyegirl

• I  am joyful that I've not had any tummy troubles the last 2 days.
• I am joyful that I get a staycation next week, while my mom is on fall break. No volunteering next week.  Don't get me wrong I love volunteering, but I feel I need a break.
• I am joyful for candy bar waiting for me. 
• I am joyful that all my basic needs are met, when there are those wondering where their next meal will come from as they sell candy bars on the street to feed their family, because they lost their house and job, like the man I saw yesterday.
• I am joyful that one of my client's seemed more at ease yesterday.  
• I am joyful for the warmth of Macy's head against my lap.  
• I'm joyful both newsletters have been turned in!  
• I'm joyful for grace from from God and others. 
• I'm joyful, because of God's healing.  

Note to Self: Don't blog when hungry or didn't eat lunch...
Oh let's see I wish I had something profound to put here, but I don't think  I do today..  I'll try tomorrow!

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     Here is a devotional I found that I wanted to share with you all!

I lived! Half Full Friday

So after I wrote that post last Sunday afternoon and hour later I was SICK.  Not just a little either.  I'll spare you the details of yuckiness, but will tell you I was violently sick for a total of 11 hours.  I recovered three days later.  While this dog maybe cute sick, I on the other was not.  

So instead of doing a list for Half Full Friday. Half Full Friday  I will just say that I'm joy-filled to be well, as in no body aches and tummy troubles and able to eat "meals again

Oh and notice my new blog tab, I have also removed the blog music for a season.

Thanks for your feedback on the new layout and recent posts!

to find the image

A Lamb I am!

For more on the pictureGo here

I just feel compelled to blog today...  Isn't this a cute lamb?  Why would I post a picture of a lamb on my blog?  Well to understand why let me encourage you at some point in the near future to find a Bible and read Isaiah Chapter 40 and take a close look at verse 11."He tends the flock like a shepherd:He gathers the lambs in his arms close to his heart.; he gently leads those who have young.." in this analogy God is the Shepherd.  I wish the concept of a shepherd was not so foreign to me or this culture, but it is.  The whole chapter tells us a lot about the nature of God, like that He alone is God, and BTW DON'T OVER LOOK THAT God ALONE IS GOD!  Then wham there it is!  In other places in scripture, and even now we know that Christ who Is God, is our sacrificial HOLY Lamb, and yet here the people of Israel are the lamb, and God is the shepherd, now I'm no history person, and not all that  educated, but if I understand the passage correctly, then this passage speaks of God's love and care for his chosen people.  God is the only one who can be both, a Shepherd, and a Lamb at the exact SAME time.  God the father, and Christ the Lamb!
   Now, to be honest, it was very hard for me to take this promise as my own until I also read, Eph. 3:6 " That the Gentiles(meaning current day believers as well) emphasis mine( should be fellow-heirs, and of the same body,and partakers in his promise in Christ by the gospel:"  What that  means to me is that     God is My Shepherd and He gathers me in His arms!  He carries me close to his heart!  Here we see the Creator of the Universe expressing physical affection toward his own!  I too can have claim to the same promises as Israel!  I don't know about you but I am starving for evidence that God who is the strong and Mighty offers us a picture of physical affection from Himself!   Do you need the Shepherd to hold you close, maybe like me it seems irreverent to you, to think of God as tender, but I am not to argue with the King of Kings about who He is!

Let's Party Friday and More!

My cousin Kim made the beautiful cake it took her 12 hours!

                                                            Mumzie's Nephew Mike

Cousin Emily with Jocelyn & Brady.  Our pastor and music minster are in the background.

  Mumzie was so surpised she had no clue about her party

Add caption

Mumzie's Great Grandson Brady and his mom Mandy she works @ HairBenders

I was happy we spent all day planning

                                   

Singing Happy Birthday!

                                             Aunt Margaret(My mom sister and "the cake lady)


Cousins Jocelyn & Jack

 Wow a lot can happen in one week!  I'll begin with pics from last Saturday of Mumzie's 80th birthday and then go from there.  Honestly blogging is the last thing I need to be doing, as I have so many other deadlines, but sometimes a girl's gotta blog!

Now on to both Come Alive & half full Friday!  find out more Go Here

• I am joyful that my mom is feeling better, since she got very sick this week from a kidney infection and had to go to the ER.
• I am joyful that my email isn't spamming folks anymore.
• I am both joyful and thankful Jenn was able to stay with and take me care of while mom was at the hospital.
• I am joyful that both my brother and dad called this week
• I am Joyful that the Good Wife's new season began Tuesday. 
• I am joyful because of the progress I've made through God's grace, and that I'm not who I was. 
• I am joyful that I got the new Wonder album! (see post under Smitty Fan)

Come Alive Friday: Things that made me come alive this week. Sponsored By: 

1. Talking to Amy on the phone. See Favorite things tab.
2. A slow day @ Choices
3. The song Take My Breath Away.
4. Serving others)
5. The sunshine and Chicfila twice this week! 

       I've not shared spiritual reflections in awhile,  I hope to next post.  I enjoy your blogs too!

I Wonder!!

JesusfreakHideout.com Listening Party!


Property OF http://www.michaelwsmith.com/ 

 Michael W Smith Album Wonder comes out Tuesday! You can listen to the whole album @ the link above. If you only listen to 1 or 2 songs, these are my top tracks. 1 Save me from myself Track 3 Run to you, Take me Over,Track 12. Track 2 Take me breath away! Wonder in stores September 28!  To those of you who are not Smitty Fan's just know this will be painful, but you will survive!

Anybody Home?? and Crazy Love By Francis Chan

Hello have I run you off? lol  I'm in a bit of a writer's slump, but I do want continue writing on here, so please stick with me!  I want to also encourage you to visit a great new blog started by my best friend!  She is an amazing woman in so many ways, please stop by and give her some love! Jenn's blog  I am reading a book right called Crazy Love  By Francis Chan.  The funny think is when I heard about it, I had no desire whatever to read it. and wow does it have me thinking even though I've only read the first three chapters so far. You can find out more Here  If you have read it what are your thoughts on the first 3 chapters or the book as a whole?  Has the book challenged you confused you or helped you?  Can I be honest, though I've only read three chapter of this book, I already believe my views about who God is are changing in a positive way.   If anything, it has caused me excitement and wonder, and allowed me to see how small I am, and how big God's love is for me!  Yes I know in my head God loves me, and all of us, but when was the last time you were truly blown away by God's love for YOU?  That's it for now...  I enjoy your comments, and do read your blogs as much as possible.

Some weeks are better than others

Hi Friends:

   I don't like to post when I'm not feeling well or when it has been a tough week, which is why I have not been quick to post.  It has not all been bad, and isn't anything earth shattering bad either, but my body is tired,  I have a chronic problem that has a long namr which I can't spell.  It is a type of baterical acne that is very painful in places I will not mention.  I've had it for years it is hormone related..  I take antibotics about every theree weeks, and have had minor surgery to remove infected tissue. 
On top of that I worked very late @ Choices, one day last week, and one of the other volunteers feelings wer hurt  by something connected to my aid, though I'm still not sure what the source of the hurt was, and while I usually have little trouble valadating someone's feelings, in this case, the fleshly side of me wanted to say life is too short to get your nose out of joint over junk.  I use to be one of the most senstive people alive, so to a degree I understand, but part of me just wanted to say please grow up.  I realized quicky this was prideful of me, and am asking God to help with my unrealistic expectations of other people.Thank God for medicine!  The happy highlights of my week were that I got to speak at Choices Shower last night, and I realize how I love speaking about Sanctity of Human Life.  I also had the most tasty grilled cheese burger  I've had in ages. I also found the coolest verse that I'll write about more later.Jer. 17:5-8Find it here!  I'm enjoying your comments please keep them coming!

invisible Illness Week Don't miss this post please

Hi Blogger:

   You will see a sticky note on the far side of my blog that will let you know that tomorrow begins invisible illness week.  Over the last few years,  God has placed many people/friends i n my life who are dealing with Chronic illnesses or chronic pain.  Let me be clear here, I don't have an invisible illness.  I would even go so far as to say that I don't consider myself as having a visible illness either.  Maybe this is because of the conflicting messages I've gotten from society over the years.  So you may ask, why am I supporting this effort?  The answer is simple her name is Sandra Rose, no she probably does not even know there is such a thing as invisible illness week, I also have other friends like Brittany and Julie who also live daily with Chronic Illness.  These are three of the most Godly women I know.  So what is an invisible illness, Invisible doesn't mean non-existing, in fact, anyone living with pain day and night knows all too well just how real invisible illness is.  My friend Sandra has to use a Tens unit regularly just in attempt to get some relief, and be able to function from constant nerve pain, and yet outwardly some days you likely would not "see" it, but if you listen, you'll hear it.  You'll hear it as she gasps for breath, because the pain is so strong her lips cannot form words.  You will hear at times, in the physical weariness of her voice.  She has tried ever treament under the sun for 9 years.  While you may not see it in the form of crutches, you will see it in the form of a tear now and then, but you know what you will see even more clearly even in her pain, you will see her strength, her faith, and her compassion.  A chronic illness invisible or other wise is any contdition that has impact on your life, and in most cases, will either remain the same or worsen.  Maybe diabetes or cancer, in the case of cancer it often falls under terminal which most chronic It maybe depression, it is any condtion where the signs may not be phyiscally seen illnesses are Chron's Fibromagilya etc.and thounsands of others.  I do have one of the illness I mentioned, now that I think of it, but lets put that aside for now.  Lisa Copen is the founder of http://www.restminstries.com/ and http://www.invisibleillness.com/ It is a christian ministry that supports people worldwide with Chronic condtions and chronic illnesses please go to both sites to find out more or get support for you or a family member or friend.  Now don't hear me saying I'm not involved in this ministry, because I am/  I'm going to fill out the survey, because whether CP is an illness condition, or other and visible or invisible, I have dealt with chronic pain in years past and I can relate in both seen and unseen ways.  What connects people is not what category they fall into, but the fact that others can share in their life journey, and as Christians there is always common ground and unity in Christ!  Because I myself in my case, am uncomfortable with the word illness. I will use condition.
The condition I live with the is  Cerebral Palsy(CP Urinary issues, depression, anxiety/
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: Soon after I was born.  I will only address CP here, not the others/

3. But I had symptoms since: 1983
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: adulthood with CP/
5. Most people assume: I like the attention, but I'd trade it in a minute

6. The hardest part about mornings are: bathing

7. My favorite medical TV show is: None

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my My Bed, lift, Van and Chair

9. The hardest part about nights are: Not being able to work late at night, even those it is my best time for creative writing.

10. Regularly I take 3__ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please):

11. Regarding alternative treatments I am very conflicted about cures.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Physical over emotional but visible and invisible I believe would be just as hard

13. Regarding working and career: Again my situation conflicts me @ times.

14. People would be surprised to know: My emotional struggles far outweigh my physical ones
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: letting go of denial

16. Something I never thought I could do with my condition that I did was: serve pregnant women

17. The commercials about my condition make me uneasy

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: I've always CP, but I miss having my own family

19. It was really hard to have to give up: the idea of what I thought my life would be.

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: blogging

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal  I would: walk the beach, and play with the dog
22. My condition  has taught me: God can use anyone, and that everyone wants to be loved

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: that I'm not special I'm just like everyone else.

24. But I love it when people: say “God has a plan for you.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: “ God will fulfill his plans for me!

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell their family there is hope in all situations with Christ!

27. Something that has surprised me about living with this is: adulthood is way harder than childhood was

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: Listened to me
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I want to open people's eyes, and comfort hurting people.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: proud and hopeful/ Thank you for your support!
    Now

What Are You Thinking?

Hello Readers: 
       I want to pose a two fold question to you, and I would like your feedback...  I'm looking for your personal response, but feel free to use personal events or scripture as well.
1. What do you think is the main source of human suffering in the world?
2. Does God fit into your thoughts on suffering?  If so how and in what way? In other words, Does God have a purpose in such suffering?  I have  expressed a few my thoughts on this subject some already, but I want to have an interactive blog disscussion with you, the readers.  Don't for a moment think that by the end of this discussion we will have the answer to the age old question, of why do people suffer?.  I promise we won't come close to discecting it, in fact we may raise more questions than answers!  However I believe that if we discuss, and ask questions through the Lens of Faith, we are strong enough to stand, even when we don't get all questions answered.  Our minds could not grasp the answers anyway. n So readers the "floor" is yours!  Tell me what you think?  I'll post more of my ideas another time.   Your input will help in my future post about suffering.  No judgement just an opoion poll.  I'm excited to see what You are thinking!

More of My Story... In pieces-

Someone on a chronic illness website is helping me write my story, for a Writer’s Therapy Group, and I wanted to share it with people I know first. He will edit, he is an author and has a BA in Journalism Thanks! He asked the questions I only wrote this as responses!














Sorry for any overlap from Part 1...  I had not planned on posting this, but it seemed fitting to make this part of the series.  You can find Part 1 Here



Background: I was born 2 months premature. And as far as we know this is what resulted in the lack of oxygen to my brain, which is the main cause of my Cerebral Palsy, I was also born breech. The left side of my body is weaker than the right. My left arm and draws up, and it takes much concentration to move it as it has mind of its own and moves some what uncountable hand. I use my right hand for everything, from holding the phone, to typing to driving my chair.

I have had 5 CP related surgeries. I missed both my 5th and 9th grade years due to 2 different hip surgeries to rebuild the hip socket in each hip, because it was bone against, I spent months in constant pain both times. After both surgeries, I spent 3 to 4 months in a full body cast with a long bar between my legs. The cast time was not so bad, because I could stay in one position, and not have to move, because before the surgery any movement of the lower half of my body would case me pain. The surgeries took away my hip, pain but the doctor said I would lose mobility and I did I hated physical Therapy. My bones became brittle and I had a few fractures. The first hip surgery I was bitter during my recovery period, but the second hip surgery, I was four years older a freshman in high school and prayed a lot, and drew closer to God during that time, and began to learn from 2 Cor 12:9 that God’s grace was sufficient for me!

I was mainstreamed into regular education classes except for Math, as I was always slower with numbers, but my reading comprehension and verbal skills are high. I am an outgoing person so I was mot really shy about interacting with students, but I never allowed relationships socially to interfere with my studies. I always had an aid with me because, I cannot scribe or write, because while I know what each letter looks like, because of CP, I did not have the motor skills to shape the letters with a pen, in other words there is a disconnect, between my brain and my muscles.

Here is a list of things I am unable to do: Cerebral affects each person in different ways, just because it affects one person one way, it does not mean it will have the same impact on another. Sometimes people with CP can be impacted cognitively, but I was, not though I often wondered if my struggles with math and my lack of directional sense are somehow connected to having Cerebral Palsy People are often quick to assume that people with CP are mentally challenged, and to be frank, when people have had that reaction many times, it started causing me to wonder if there was something wrong with me, so I made it my life mission to prove to myself and others that I’m mentally okay. I have to have someone, bathe, dress, and clean up after me every day. The issues I deal with are guilt, that others are left with the responsibility of taking care of my personal needs, and always trying to overcompensate in intellect and effort for the things I’m unable to do physically until a few years ago, my goal was “to be just like everyone else, and never allow myself be defined by CP and rarely took my limitations into account. The only time CP makes me sad is when it keeps me from enjoying deeper relationships. I have always wanted to take a walk on the beach, and I wondered if my sibling and I could better relate to one another if I had not had CP. I felt bad that he had to grow up with a sister who takes time away from him that is rightfully his. I feel bad that my mom has one adult child who in a physical sense will always be dependent on someone.

I tend to compare myself to others both without CP and with CP. On a good day, I focus on the good things in my life like, my volunteer work, and how I have been blessed I am to have an impact on others through God’s grace. I try also to focus on those things that are eternal, rather than that which is temporal. I choose to focus on the fact that I am loved by family and friends, and that I serve God who is molding me with each passing moment to become like Christ! CP has taught me better how to love people who are hurting. It has also taught me that life is bigger than me, and life isn’t about my comfort or my wellbeing. It has taught to be patient, and always attempt to see the best in others.

On a not so good day, it can be tempting to think my life isn’t all that spectacular, when compared to my peers, I mean I don’t have a paying job, I live at home, I’m not married and have no children. The truth is outside of being an author and speaker, I really don’t have a desire to be employed, and though I am sure I would gain a greater sense of dignity, if I could support myself finically, I would choose purpose and fulfillment any day over money as long as my basic needs are met When I compare myself to others with CP, sometimes why there are some things they’ve accomplished which I haven’t rarely remembering that the types of limits each of us have are different It is hard for me to imagine a male being attracted to me or wanting to share his life with me, when he could have an able- bodied wife falling at his feet. I am not even sure that logistically or emotionally I could be a wife or mom in the truest sense of the word.

For the most part good days far outweigh the bad, as long as I rely on and seek Christ, as He gives me purpose and fulfillment. My greatest sense of fulfillment seems to come from inspiring and ministering to others through written or spoken word.

What would it take to realize I am special? It would take people telling me over and over that it is okay to be different. That CP isn’t my fault, that God made me this way for a higher purpose, until I could believe it!
 Note I will be reconsidering those last 2 sentences as the Lord is doing some serious work in my heart.  It is panful, which is why I haven't posted sooner, but I'm glad some people care enough to confront me when I'm not thiinking like Christ!

Half Full Friday August 27th 2010

http://www.lifeaseyeseeit.blogspot.com/
       Began Half Full Friday @ her site.  She will resume in September.
Here are my joy filled thoughts for this week.

• I am joy filled that God is in control, when I have no idea what to do, or how to fix situations beyond my scope.
• I am joy filled that I found the show "If You Really knew me ON Demand, and yeah it is an MTV Show, and no I don't watch MTV much, but it is in my humble view, a powerful show.
• I am Joy Filled that though, it has not been a "perfect week" I can say I'm blessed and at peace.
• I am joyfilled about the qoute I found, "God permits those things He hates to accomplish the things He loves."  Isn't that amazing!?

But God.... Inspired by another Blogger

Hi,

    Wow I have so much I want to cover on this blog, I just don't know where to begin.  I will begin with a link to a, friend's blog, Kelli's Post-But God... inspired by her post, I decided to create my own list, to further understand the concept, see the link above. SENSITIVE CONTENT AHEAD YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. Be aware that if you have struggles or history of any type of self loathing or self harm, or think you may have a tendency to be tempted,you should be cautious about reading my list.  I'm not attempting to tempt anyone, exalt my sin, or lead others into the traps I've gone through on my journey.

Jenn me and Casey @ Women of Joy2010

I was lonely but God gave me true friends...
I was born 2 months premature and breech, a baby brought in the same time died, but God allowed me to life on earth.
I was in a cycle of despair and self harm, but God rescued me. 
My mom has had cancer three times, but God has spared her life. 
I am weak, but God gives me courage. 
I quit college, but God gave me purpose..
I had doubts, but God was merciful. 
I'm not a size, 2 but God says I'm favored within the beloved!
I have physical limits, but God, calls Me to serve him. 
I could have been mentally challenged, but God in his wisdom, gave me a sound mind. 
I thought I was worthless, but God showed me truth! 


I am finishing my story for you all and hope to post it soon.  Also stayed tuned for a post about invisible illness week.  Also at some point Lord willing I'll do another post on purpose in suffering! 

Thanks for stopping by....

HALF Full Friday Sorta August 20th 2010

http://www.lifeaseyeseeit.blogspot.com/ bega the half full Friday posts, and normally I would link my responses to her site, but she is on wedding sabbatical this month, but I'm still going to continue since I missed a few weeks  You can find out more about half full Friday @ the above link.

1. I am joy filled that my tummy is doing better today!
2. I am joy filled my family is healthy.
3. I am Joy Filled that I can use my "old" chair until my new one is fixed. 
4. I am joyfilled that mom said I can be a table host this year @ http://www.choicesprcchattanooga.org/ Banquet



Property of http://www.michaelwsmith.com/

5. I am joy filled that Smitty's new CD Wonder comes out next month
6. I am joy filled that my relationships are for the moment slowly improving.

These are only a few reasons that I'm joy filled!

Favorite stuff Monday!

Hi Bloggers:

    I want to go on bit of a lighter note today, and share some of my favorite things with you.  http://www.virtualredvine.com/products/Hershey%27s/hershey%27s%20box.jpg

So yummy in moderation! 

http://wwwgoogle.com/images

Again very yummy in Moderation ha!

So now you guys know "sweet stuff is a turn on for me!

OKAY so the pic is sideways but I love hugs!  Every good and perfect gift comes from above!

Wandering Blog-LOVE AIN'T EASY!

Hi Bloggers.

      As I'm sure you've noticed this blog has been a bit here there, and everywhere lately.  Try as I might to reign this writer in, I just can't seem to gain focus or develop a big picture.  I am well aware that this is because lately I've been "feeling" like there are few things I'm doing well, I know when I'm going down a road like this it is a slipery slope for me.   In the past few weeks, I've become almost so performance driven that even the "work" I enjoy doing has seem more like a chore to me.  I know that at the root of what is bothering me is a broken relationship with someone I love very much, and yet it is such a struggle for me to love this person most days, I have never in my life bent over backwards for someone, as I have this person  and when this person walks into the room silence between us is unbearable, and I'm utterly helpless in fixing the situation.  The anger that rises between us is volcanic, and somehow years of that unspoken resentment, has led to uncomfortable and awkward silence.  I have prayed countless prayers, sought endless counsel, and cried an ocean of tears, and this week a simple trivial issue, once again left me with hurt feelings and a rage that took me 48 hours to settle.  I CRAVE this person's love so bad, it is like a child waiting for affirmation from a parent.I know no matter what has happened this is an unfair burden to expect from this person  I went through similar craving for my dad, and seemed to be longing for the same in this situation, but the rejection hurts much more, because it is so direct and seems purposefully targeted. This person is not bad, and at the end of the day, if they called and said they needed me, I would drop everything, yeah I know it is kind of unhealthy   Anyway I learned this week that I tend to keep a mental record of the wrongs done to me by this person, or the wrongs I've done to this person.Ironic because I don't hold grudges with most people  So as I read the Love Chapter in the Bible this week, I asked God to take away my scoreboard, and while I'm a long way from restoration, I found freedom in this baby step.  I realize my blog was meant all along to reflect a devotional format, but I must go through the lesson, and work through it before it can be counted as a lesson learned.  Learn from my mistakes...  "Love is not easily angered, it keeps NO RECORD OF WRONGS." 1 Cor. 13:5